To be appalled that someone i would call a neighbour..

[loopyapp]

.. Has reported my immediate neighbour to the police .. For a small gathering following her mother's funeral??

She died very suddenly. I wont give details as it is very outing for the family.

I just cannot fathom how utterly self righteous you have to be to do that to someone on the day of her mother's funeral.

Add to which she has to live here now not knowing which of her neighbours did something so cruel.

Maybe I've missed it op but how many people were at the event? Because I can quite understand someone who's lost someone and obeyed the rules being infuriated by other people not. I wouldn't say I'd report anyone but it's surely not hard to imagine that everyone who reports ' me or my friends' for breaking rules is not necessarily an awful person but quite possibly someone who's been devastated by the consequences of this pandemic.

@GoodbyePorpoiseSpit

You’ve got to be a special type of meddling arsehole to report a funeral :(

Yep. That about says everything I was going to say.

When my uncle died we went to Costa after the funeral and stood socially distanced on the car park . There were 7 of us. We were obviously dressed for a funeral. Some people were tutting and shaking their heads. No understanding.

I always wondered where all these curtain twitching losers are that report thier neighbours to the police for virtually nothing. Turns out they're all on mumsnet judging by some of the posts on here.

I'm guessing it was maybe closer to 15 than 6 and some people just excuse a few more because it's sad it's a funeral.

Others feel that the more excuses we make the longer covid will go on.

GoodbyePorpoiseSpit
You’ve got to be a special type of meddling arsehole to report a funeral sad“

Yes and no. Emotive and difficult. There was a wedding party of 150 in North London at the height of infection. Most people agreed it was right to report it. Would it have made a difference if the gathering had been for a funeral at that very dangerous point? Personally, I don’t think so.
(not suggesting OP’s neighbours had 150!)

YABU, if it was illegal then she shouldn’t have done it. People can’t break the law and expect not to be reported.

The law around funerals/wakes is extremely clear. If you think you’re special and the rules don’t apply to you then you deserve everything you get. People who break Covid laws are scum, good on your neighbour.

@Countrygirl2021

I'm guessing it was maybe closer to 15 than 6 and some people just excuse a few more because it's sad it's a funeral.

Others feel that the more excuses we make the longer covid will go on.

You're way off. Firstly these houses are so tiny 15 people wouldn't have been able to move.

From what i could hear through the thin walls it was the 4 that live there, their dad, aunt and a friend.

@Elai1978

The law around funerals/wakes is extremely clear. If you think you’re special and the rules don’t apply to you then you deserve everything you get. People who break Covid laws are scum, good on your neighbour.

And one day when you find yourself requiring compassion and understanding in a sitiation I'm sure you'll stoically martyr yourself and suffer alone.

Lest people broken by grief ... No wait ... Scum... Have moments of truest heart break and need their dad.

Btw the girls in question are very young, youngest of which (a few years past being considered a child) found her mum. They needed their father and if that makes them scum your eyes then I'd 100% rather be tarred with their brush than yours.

If everyone in the area knows what it was, why do you assume its one of your neighbours who reported it?

I wouldn't personally report it (I don't monitor my neighbours activities) but if they've broken the rules they've done so knowing they were running the risk of being reported.

I broke the rules to visit a relative who was struggling after bereavement. I did it knowing I was risking being caught and fined. These people will also have known and decided the benefit outweighed the risk.

@Bourbonic

If everyone in the area knows what it was, why do you assume its one of your neighbours who reported it?

I wouldn't personally report it (I don't monitor my neighbours activities) but if they've broken the rules they've done so knowing they were running the risk of being reported.

I broke the rules to visit a relative who was struggling after bereavement. I did it knowing I was risking being caught and fined. These people will also have known and decided the benefit outweighed the risk.

Call it intuition. No one at that funeral or the procession would have reported those two girls for having some time privately with their dad and aunt on the evening of the day they buried their mum.

Hmm OP. You stress in your OP that you won't be giving details as it's a well publicised death. Then proceed to drip feed details in every post. You don't know how many were there (apart from your intuition and what you heard through the wall) or who reported and why. You seem to be the intrusive one in this scenario.

@Hobbesmanc

Hmm OP. You stress in your OP that you won't be giving details as it's a well publicised death. Then proceed to drip feed details in every post. You don't know how many were there (apart from your intuition and what you heard through the wall) or who reported and why. You seem to be the intrusive one in this scenario.

Ahh yes I forgot that age old chestnut .. How stupid of me to fall for the baiting for more information by the abusive replies and actually giving the baying mob a stick to beat me with.

You're 100% correct of course. How utterly stupid of me.

So you don't actually know anything then?

You said everyone in the area knows about the funeral so why would it have only been someone attending who would have reported it?

As I said, if you decide to take the gamble you have to accept that you may lose out in some way.

Btw the girls in question are very young, youngest of which (a few years past being considered a child) found her mum.

So they are not ‘girls’. They are adult women in their 20’s? Who are the other two who live at the house? Mums partner and someone else?

I don’t blame people for reporting gatherings. If the gathering is legal, the police should apologise for disturbing them and leave them to it.

Sounds like there was more than 6 people in this case, although you posts aren’t that clear about who lives in the house..

I wouldn’t repor but It was still illegal though. If the limit is 6 and they wanted their dad, did they need the aunt, friend etc too? I am not saying those people don’t need support but we don’t know that they don’t have families at home to comfort them.

I know it is awful for grieving families but the pandemic doesn’t stop spreading because those gathering happen to be at a funeral. There is a good reason for the limits placed on such gatherings.

YABU, if it was illegal then she shouldn’t have done it. People can’t break the law and expect not to be reported

Where I grew up, the law made it illegal for non whites to be in certain areas without a pass and use many facilities. It was illegal to marry or love someone of a different colour.
It was an absolute moral duty to oppose this law and many died fighting it.

Covid does not trump everything, nor should it.

@MaxNormal

YABU, if it was illegal then she shouldn’t have done it. People can’t break the law and expect not to be reported

Where I grew up, the law made it illegal for non whites to be in certain areas without a pass and use many facilities. It was illegal to marry or love someone of a different colour.
It was an absolute moral duty to oppose this law and many died fighting it.

Covid does not trump everything, nor should it.

With respect this is not about discrimination. This law applies to all to protect everyone

It’s not about discrimination - until a member of parliament breaks the law there ‘to protect everyone’.

OP I think the language used by some posters on this thread tells you everything you need to know when they refer to “scum”.

I wouldn't report anyone for anything, because I don't know their circumstances and I would hate to add to anyone's stress or difficulties. Even if I suspected some rule breaking, who am I to judge someone living on their own desperate for company or someone visiting a sick parent?

@keepWashingThoseHands, ah yes, good point

It’s hard because we don’t know the specifics.
If they’re breaking the law then meeting up in a large group, could mean more funerals.
Those are the epidemiological facts, it spreads from person to person. The more people that get together, the more likely they are to get it.
That being said, I don’t know the specifics. So very hard to say who is right or wrong.
If it was a large gathering you can’t blame someone who is perhaps vulnerable and nervous about this virus.
If it’s a small gathering of 6 and someone did it out of spite that’s a different story.

Call it intuition. No one at that funeral or the procession would have reported those two girls for having some time privately with their dad and aunt on the evening of the day they buried their mum

You don't know that at all. Noone knows what goes on in someone's mind.

Did the police care? When my DH died during lockdown it was the police who opened the door and let family members in to the house.