Believe something has been stolen

[leopardprintpants]

How would you deal with this, or to make it accurate to AIBU.. am I being unreasonable asking?

If a member of your partners family stayed at your house and something went missing after they left, you noticed a day or two after their visit; would you ask them if they had seen it, or would you come out and accuse them of taking the item? (Your gut instinct tells you it was taken, not easily lost.) would you hide anything they may take a fancy to in future?

It is not something sentimental or hugely expensive although, something I had bought myself as a "treat."

I feel sad that this person could steal from me ☹️

Not much you can do sadly. Just don’t have them back.
My teenage stepdaughter steals my stuff on a weekly basis, then denies all knowledge. I have had to go down her bags when she’s not looking to retrieve my stuff in the past. I now have to hide all my toiletries, jewellery, cash, makeup etc when she’s over. It sucks, but it is what it is. 🙄

This is tough. You have no proof, and it will be difficult to prove, there is a small chance you may be wrong.

The way I dealt with this when it happened was to lock everything of value away, which is frustrating. Later it transpired this person had done it to others, and so I felt comfortable always having an excuse why my home was out of bounds. I didn’t see the point of accusing, hardly going to make them admit it or apologise.

I have heard of others tidying everything away, and deliberately leaving something specific out and seeing if it disappears when said person is there. This may be too obvious to them.

It’s really sad because it puts you on edge in your own home.

@TillyTopper

I have asked if they saw it and I said where it was when last used. They claim they didn't see it

Personally I'd write the facial product off, but I'd never have them back in the house.

This.

@TheLittleRedToothbrush

Is it a DSC ? Or relation of DH ? Because if this has happened with a watch and now toiletries surely you wouldn't have this person back unless you don't have a choice ?

Yes DSC, so no choice. The watch I always thought had been lost (had a newborn baby so sleep deprived) but this makes me think back and wonder.

A guest of mine stole my YSL Radiant Touch. I had a chest of drawers out looking for it and it was never found. It still irritates me a few years later, and when I hear her name I silently add concealer thief.
Response depends on the item.

I think you need some locking cupboards op.

Or dump everything in a room with a lock.

Best answer of all, inform the suspected person there are cameras in the house everywhere. You’re supposed to tell people they are being filmed I think. Like nanny cams / pet cams... lots of legitimate reasons to have them in your home, and they may not always be easily visible.

Quite a lot of expense to go to for one disrespectful person.
Still, you might just be thinking about them when you mention them, and if the person wants to assume they’re already installed...

The problem is that you don't know if it has been stolen or not. You've asked and it's been denied, so unless you want to call them a liar outright there's not much you can do about it.

The other problem is that people lose things all the time. They get put down, mislaid, dropped, broken, whatever and the person who has lost it swears it was 'always in the same place' and they definitely haven't moved it.

So I would keep anything I didn't want to share in my own room so that it's not accessible to others and hope that it was a one off incident. I might also ask the teen to check their belongings to make sure they hadn't picked it up 'accidently' with their stuff.

I'm a bit of a bitch so if they said they hadn't taken it and you know they have is say nothing more about it, not have them in the house again and when a fair time had passed I'd take something of equal value, feign ignorance and draw a line under it.

Or next time they stay, decant a product of theirs so you know they are using a watered down product

@An0n0n0n

I'm a bit of a bitch so if they said they hadn't taken it and you know they have is say nothing more about it, not have them in the house again and when a fair time had passed I'd take something of equal value, feign ignorance and draw a line under it.

Thats not a very nice thing to do.

But heres the problem, sometimes you think for certain someone has done something, then later realise they hadnt. Or maybe you wont find out what happened, but that they truely have no idea.

Why assume the worst about a friend or family member over a single instance, without any concrete proof.

Its like my friend who asked if i had taken their house keys and then seriously insinuate that I was lying when I said I hadnt. To this day, they didnt find that set of housekeys, no one knows what happened to that set, and i cut said toxic friend out my life.