Or do others feel this way?

[crinklyfoil]

If I’m honest my interest in my role has been waning for the last five years or so. But just recently I’m struggling to feel any enthusiasm whatsoever.

I’m having to job hunt and it’s hard faking interest and enthusiasm and passion (although I do.)

My honest answer to ‘why do you want to work here’ would be ‘for money and it’s a decent commute’ but obviously this isn’t acceptable. Am I alone or a terrible person?

YANBU. Everybody fibs on that one.

YANBU it is a ridiculous charade, perpetuated by those very few weirdos who assert that they would still come to work if they had multi-million lotto win.

Honestly everyone feels like this. It's a very ugly dance that we all have to do. No I am not "passionate" about xyz... I literally need to pay the bills and buy food and keep a roof over my head.

YANBU, I would say the majority feel this way. This idea that we should feel a burning passion for our work, 'follow your dreams', or even that we do/should have any meaningful level of control and choice over our work rather than it being largely a product of circumstances and luck is (a) a very modern concept in the scale of things, try asking a pre-industrial peasant or even a Victorian factory worker or Edwardian domestic servant whether their back breaking labour that barely scrapes them a living is their 'dream job' and (b) ignores the fact that a large number of jobs we absolutely require and need to function as a society are not hugely enjoyable by any normal standards, not just manual or domestic labour like agriculture, driving, cleaning, care of children, the sick and elderly but also a lot of 'corporate'/service roles as well. So this narrative that we all need to be bringing joyously from our beds full of excitement about going to work every morning and if we don't that's some kind of personal failure or evidence of lack of ambition/drive, is simply illogical nonsense! I've always thought that the people who do genuinely 100% enjoy their work and would do it for no pay are either really really lucky (being born with an artistic talent that lets them earn a living in a creative role for instance) or very very privileged (e.g. family connections got them into a niche industry or gave them the capital to start their own business) or more often both...

But on the plus side, I think once you free yourself of the notion that work should be inherently enjoyable/preferable to sitting on the sofa eating crisps or whatever you do actually enjoy, you can start to find satisfaction and fulfilment in your work in other areas, e.g. it may be dull and repetitive but serves a useful societal purpose, or may be frustrating and stressful but is intellectually challenging and stimulating, or maybe you really like working with your clients or colleagues, or maybe it simply pays a good wage and provides you and your family a nice lifestyle - that's totally fine and don't let anyone tell you otherwise!

What are you passionate about? Is there an opportunity to retrain?

I find it very sad that people don’t believe they can be passionate about their work. Stick a sheet of numbers in front of me and I’m as happy as a pig in shit. I’m extremely passionate about my role, but I also know so many more people that aren’t at all passionate about their job and only work to pay the bills. If you’re unhappy, could you not have a think about what makes you happy (or in the very least, what would you find soothing/enjoyable to spend a large amount of time on?) and try for a career doing something like that? It’s really no wonder this world is overloaded with people experiencing mental health problems because of work if everyone’s working jobs they’ve no interest in.

That sounded a hell of a lot more patronising and up myself than I meant it to, sorry! I’d just meant, working somewhere that makes you miserable will affect your mental health. If you’ve got the opportunity then discovering what doesn’t make you miserable might be a better use of time than hunting for a job you already know you’re not happy in

Definitely not being unreasonable.
I always hated work and only went to get money. I am not ashamed of that and neither should you be.

I think the other thing, and sorry to go on and on, is the modern phenomenon that everything and every feeling is very extreme and polarised, so it can appear if you only go by what people put on social media/MN or say in interviews etc you are either in your dream job, incredibly passionate, deeply happy, joyous and fulfilled, living your best life etc etc, OR everything is a total disaster, you are miserable, MH suffering etc etc. I don't deny that some people do genuinely feel one or other but in reality I think the majority of people the majority of the time feel somewhere in the middle, but obviously that's not particularly newsworthy so you don't hear about it as much, you'd be a bit weird if you posted on facebook or linked in that you'd had an average day, had some good meetings and got thanked by your boss but also had a boring meeting and surreptitiously played on your phone and then had a petty row with a colleague so felt a bit stressed out but then had a biscuit and felt a bit better...but the latter is a much more common type of day than the ones you hear about online IMO!

I loathe this so much. It's one of the main reasons I hate job hunting with a passion. I don't want to have to pretend I am passionate about filing or shelf stacking or cleaning. I'm not. But I'm hardworking, reliable and will do the job efficiently. If you aren't horrible to me while I'm doing it, I'll probably even smile and enjoy it.

In a recent rejection, I overperformed on the three things they were testing me on, but one of them was 'clearly not a personal passion' so I didn't get the job because I wouldn't achieve total job satisfaction from a role that involved duties that I considered 'just part of the job'. Some people just want to work to live!! YANBU OP.

YANBU. I particulate hate when they separate out “why do you want this specific role” and “why do you want to work here” because then you can’t talk about the role when answering why you want to work there, you have to pretend that it’s the company when obviously anyone job searching looks mainly at the actual jobs and salaries. This especially annoys me when you’ve applied to them through a recruitment agency and didn’t even know the company when you initially applied because that info was withheld.

I once got rejected from a data analysis job at the motorbike division of Honda. This was a role involving analysing sales data, profits etc. They said it didn’t seem like I was passionate about motorbikes. Why I couldn’t really argue with, but it’s not really relevant. In the role I was applying for it’s all just numbers on a screen, I wasn’t trying to sell the damn things. In a nerdy way, if I’m passionate about anything work related, its spreadsheets and data, I love it, so I would have been passionate about the actual work they were paying me to do. But no, they wanted passion about motorbikes.

@ChancesWhatChances

That sounded a hell of a lot more patronising and up myself than I meant it to, sorry! I’d just meant, working somewhere that makes you miserable will affect your mental health. If you’ve got the opportunity then discovering what doesn’t make you miserable might be a better use of time than hunting for a job you already know you’re not happy in

Yeah, it did, but you're forgiven as you sound nice 😊

I'm like you with numbers, but need a change of scene. What do you do?

@crinklyfoil it's a stupid fucking question. Like many of them are!! Where do you see yourself in 5 years. Rarely is 'taking coffee in bed, followed by a walk along the beach I live in with the spaniel and adorable sexy new bloke, followed by an afternoon in bed and served dinner the chef has made' the answer they're looking for.

Would it be possible to look for something else? Can you afford to take anytime out to change career?

It might be easier to answer those questions in the charitable or government sectors.

Charities don't pay as well as other places, so they rely on their staff being passionate about that particular cause. It's a double edged sword, though. Funding gets tight and charities need to diversify. So you can end up working in roles you don't like or for a cause that's not the same as when you started.

Aww you’re not patronising chances! I used to be passionate about work but ugh ... it’s changed a lot and I have young dcs and they are what I’m really passionate about.

There are things I’d like to do but in all honesty they aren’t well suited to family life and by the time the kids are old enough for me to do them without any adverse effects I’d be in my 50s!

If you aren't horrible to me while I'm doing it, I'll probably even smile and enjoy it.

This is so true. Feeling valued (sorry, cheesy I know) is so important and can make even the most hideous task mildly enjoyable.

@ChancesWhatChances

What are you passionate about? Is there an opportunity to retrain?

I find it very sad that people don’t believe they can be passionate about their work. Stick a sheet of numbers in front of me and I’m as happy as a pig in shit. I’m extremely passionate about my role, but I also know so many more people that aren’t at all passionate about their job and only work to pay the bills. If you’re unhappy, could you not have a think about what makes you happy (or in the very least, what would you find soothing/enjoyable to spend a large amount of time on?) and try for a career doing something like that? It’s really no wonder this world is overloaded with people experiencing mental health problems because of work if everyone’s working jobs they’ve no interest in.

Argggh fucking "passionate" Passionate this, passionate that. The only thing that I really enjoy is arguing with random people on the internet and highlighting gut-wrenching cliches. There is fuck all paid work doing that.

Where do you see yourself in 5 years
Retired hopefully.