To think it would be nice to have someone talk to.

[DisneyDamsel89]

Hi!

I feel a bit embarrassed to admit this but I don't really have any friends, I have a few fairweather friends and some that send me the occasional message but not much more.

It didn't really bother me too much before covid struck but I have had time to think about it more over the last year and it actually makes me feel quite sad.

I'm 32, I'm married with children. Both of my parents are alive. Don't get me wrong I talk to them but they have their own lives obviously. My Dad works a lot and my Mum isn't that talkative and mainly likes to talk about herself or bitch about other people.

My DH isn't one for talking either. He gets quite moody and likes to sit in silence quite often.

I find myself scouring Mumsnet or Instagram some nights just to feel like I'm part of a conversation! I don't even need anything full on to talk about, I'd settle for talking about how effective Fairy tablets are in the laundry laughs

Does anyone else feel like this?

@JamBagel right just before lock down I had found a group on meet-up.com that did a book group within the group. I went along and had breakfast and a chitchat about the book. Also went to an afternoon tea. Really looking forward to the day it starts up again. As although I don’t know the ladies it was just great to take off on my own and meet new people.

I think I'm going to try the scattergun approach to meeting new people when covid eases/when smallest dc starts school. I am planning to start a very small business on-line and then do things around this such as volunteering/joining social groups. I used to work in an office and although I didn't strike up any true friendships, there was always someone to have chit chat with. It's going to be a whole lot harder now that more people are home based because you are not automatically thrown amongst people. I think my lack of connection to people was drowned out before by work/day to day stuff and general busyness I don't think I valued having friends before plus a lot of people seemed wrapped up in their own families/friends etc. I think I was guilty of this too to some extent until I found myself at home again with a pre-schooler and suddenly wanted adult company and the friends that I did have were working etc.

Mumsnet has definitely helped me feel less cut off. I don't think I would have a clue what's going on for people/the world in general if I didn't visit the forums.

I think there is a real danger that mums end up with few friends because family takes so much time. I'm getting frustrated how infrequently I can see my friends and how I have to do all the arranging.

Yes, I know what you mean about doing all the arranging Wednesday. Pre covid it just became easier for people to visit me here (me having a pre schooler) so although I had company from time to time, I frequently felt quite shut in and no change of scene (plus always tidying up before visitors arrived - yes I know not completely necessary but not the same as going to a neutral place).

I think through having an awful time at secondary school (bullied constantly) and a problematic childhood, I don't find it easy to be part of groups/make friends. I found it easier to concentrate on work/family rather than developing outside interests it was only when covid struck that I realised how things had become for me.

when things are back to normal try meetup.com. When I split up from my ExH I lost almost all of my friends (long story!) but I made lots of new ones through meet up. it's hard work at times and you do have to make an effort but it's worth it in the end.

I understand OP. My family are absolutely brilliant and always chatting but I don’t really have any proper friends to have a good chat with - there’s a few school mums who sometimes message but quite often it’s me putting in the effort and I end up just feeling like a nuisance!!! I’ve been on furlough for a while so haven’t had the office daily chatter either.

When things reopen I’m planning on joining some gym classes and a book group - hopefully to meet some new people

@Midnightstar76 That sounds fab! Breakfast and afternoon tea sound right up my street (I like eating if you can't tell!). Hopefully I can find a similar group around here.

@Usernxvbcg I know exactly what you mean about lack of connection being drowned out by busyness. I feel like it's all been laid bare now we're locked away with nothing to do.

I know how you feel. I've no friends and it's really bothering me now.
My children are adults so I'm not stuck at home looking after small children.
I have work colleagues but none are real friends.
Dp is the most unsociable person ever and doesn't see the need for friends. I guess over the years I've sort of thought like him and family has been enough. But now I want friends.
How on earth do you go about making friends when you're fast approaching 50?
This pandemic has really highlighted it. I've only got my parents who I chat to outside our household (apart from during work)
I've had no one to have zoom quizzes with or chat online.
I've got no one other than my parents that I've missed as I don't ever see anyone.

Much the same here. I have friends but they always cancel any plans made and it never gets re booked. I'd love a group of girlie friends

Same boat Op. Nearly 46, no friends, 1 teenager and a Dp.

Would really love to have a best mate to meet up and have a good old chinwag with. I follow conversations on here to have people to interact with. There's that many humans in this world, no one should be without friends.

Yes to this!

I'm 41 btw, married, two teenagers. So no chance of meeting anyone at the school gates. I work full time too. I lost a fair few friends in divorce but now I realise they weren't friends

I feel like somebody should start a post Covid “let’s make friends” Facebook group or something