Do you keep secrets from your DH?

[Vivenne]

I don't want to out myself so keeping it brief.

DH got drunk and told HIS family and close friends my deepest secrets. It happened a while ago now but I can't seem to get over it.

These secrets are absolutely not to be discussed and I told him in complete confidence.

I am still mad that he did this. I don't like hiding secrets and I doubt I'll have any in the future to tell but if I did I would be hesitant to tell him now.

Do you keep secrets from your DH?

I’d be angry too. You should be able to tell your spouse things in confidence without fear he’ll blab them. I can see why you’re reluctant to open up again, although it might put a strain on your marriage if you feel unable to confide in him. Really he should be working to re-earn your trust.

@Sparklesocks thanks for your reply. Definitely a strain in our marriage right now.

That is unforgivable. Yes, I do tell DH pretty much everything but I would be livid if he told anyone else.

Was it something you’d specifically asked him not to tell anyone?

@Howshouldibehave well they are secrets that go way back, I can't say what they are but just imagine your deepest darkest secrets (if you have any). I feel so cold towards him and that he could do such a thing.

I wouldn't be able to see him in a good light again. What a horrible thing for him to do.

That’s awful of your dh. I’d be livid.
I do keep things secret from dh. He doesn’t know everything about my family and friends, especially the things they told me I’m confidence.

I started keeping things from my ex because he blabbed everything to his family even when I specifically asked him not to. In my ideal relationship I would not need to keep secrets from my partner.

It's such a basic tenet of any relationship isn't it? You should be able to tell your DP something in confidence and know they'll keep it to themselves.

Is he remorseful? How did he and you try to resolve it? Is his drinking a problem in general or was this a case of an out of character one too many?

It's an awful thing to do and I can completely understand how you'd struggle to get over it. You can't trust him and that undoubtedly stings.

And to answer your question - I do keep secrets. Nothing sinister but I'm a deeply private person, always have been, and like to keep some things to myself.

He used you as gossip or he needed extra support outside of you? There's a difference.

The way I was going to answer the question in your title, is a different response from my response to your OP.

From your OP, your dh has broken your trust completely, and I don't think I could forgive that, and would certainly be guarded about telling him anything in the future, if I decided to stay with him. A relationship needs trust. He has broken that completely.

From the title - yes, I have things that I might be told by a friend that I wouldn't then share with him. By exactly the same level of trust he has broken above, if a friend trusted me enough to tell me something personal, or about something that were troubling her, of course I wouldn't break that confidence and share it with my dh. I don't think I have any deep, dark secrets that I haven't shared with him, so I think that is very circumstantial in terms of whether I would ever withhold anything from him on that level, if it potentially could affect our relationship. I wouldn't hold something current, a secret from him, but I could see there might be things that happened before you knew one another that people might keep secret.