New relationship

[Walkingaway]

Honestly what would you think of a man who managed to get into two relationships during lockdown abs be involved with a long term affair.

First one started part way through the first lockdown ( few months after coming out of a very long term relationship) and second one in Jan 2 weeks after first one ended. Plus she works on frontline nhs abs is breaking lockdown.

I have had to walk away from our friendship. I just think it’s car crash material despite him claiming this latest one is the one. Lost the small amount of respect I had left.

I can spell and btw. Blinking autocorrected to abs.

Bumping for morning crowd

Um, can I ask what his relationship is to you? Does his seeing other women affect you that much? Would you be this offended by his dating history during normal times?

If you don’t want to be friends with him, don’t be. You don’t need to justify it.
I wouldn’t be keen on being friends with anyone involved in an affair personally but I can’t bring myself to care for any of the rest of it.

Are you friends? Are you lovers?
I don't really understand what answer you're looking for as I don't understand your situation.

I’d think he was a bit of a prat but his relationship status doesn’t affect me so no, I wouldn’t end a friendship over it.

Who is he?

I have know him all my life. I did have fling with him years ago . We have moved past all that and have remained really good friends for years. Always be one to give him advice and see the best in him.

I’m friends with both the affair partner and the new girlfriend.

I just agree it’s how crap he’s been treating the women in his life and constantly lying.

It’s a shame because I’ve known him most of my life but he’s lying to the new girlfriend and despite me being close to her ( we have always talked fortnightly on phone) I don’t feel I can now.

Actually if I’m honest I’m seeing the way he exploits women’s vulnerabilities and is predatory in his approach.

That’s what is sickening to me.

That’s the issue justifying it. I feel I need to as friends including latest girlfriend will ask why I’m not close to him anymore.

I just feel by remaining friends I’m condoning his shitty actions.

@Walkingaway

Actually if I’m honest I’m seeing the way he exploits women’s vulnerabilities and is predatory in his approach.

That’s what is sickening to me.

He sounds like a prick. I too wouldn't be friends with a predatory man who doesn't respect the women in his life. Or women in general.

@youvegottenminuteslynn thank you. That’s where I am I think.

I’m cross with her too for being so gullible and desperate enough to accept shitty standards thinking she’ll be the women to change him. Nope she was an opportunity and She’s got herself a cocklodger in a few months I guarantee.

Why don't you tell the women if they are your friends and he no longer is?
Or will they think you are jealous?

@saltandsugar the affair partner knows. He’s treated her awfully. She’s been at the point of suicide - she’s getting help now. He has pushed and twisted her for years and years. She’s not a bad person. She’s just been very unhappy and vulnerable. She has had a lot of past trauma to unpick and I can see he exploited that. It was an anniversary of theirs yesterday. He chose to post a profile pic of him and new girlfriend. Coincidence- unlikely. He rarely changes his photos. So insensitive.

As for the first lockdown girlfriend- well she must know now. I suspect he’ll tell her it happened within last couple of weeks. Truth is there was huge overlap (with all three) from the timings I can work out. He cheated on her for at least half their relationship. Kept her hidden away and tbh even I was sure if they were still together at one point but found out yes they were fit whole 7 months. She finally ended it.
2 weeks later- The new girlfriend- my other close friend. I tried gently and kindly to point out his track record. She’d already seen him though and was firmly hooked and he was lovebombing her. She has been single for so long and just wanted to be loved. The true love of her life died suddenly last year and tbh I think she’s been lost at sea with what ifs since that happened. She wants to believe he can be the one.

As for me telling her more. No he’ll portray me as crazy. He knows exactly how he could hurt me with revenge too and I think to protect myself and what I have rebuilt I need to firmly stay the fuck away.

*wasn’t sure.

Oh and first lockdown girlfriend ended it because of restrictions, she wouldn’t bubble with him due to caring for parents and her inability to see him when he wanted it. They are still friends ( for now!) I can see her being the back up plan. However now he’s posted the profile pic and gone public with latest one I suspect he’s fucked that up cos she truly was a lovely woman.