AIBU to wonder WTF has happened to nursing “care” in our NHS?

[AnnieGetYourPun]

And don’t tell me it’s all Covid/staff shortages/staff illness related.

My niece was eventually admitted to hospital after being sent home twice from A&E (in agony) and is now on a gynae ward. It’s just her and an elderly lady on the ward. The elderly lady was getting agitated as she needed the toilet. The nurse came and said, and I quote “it’s alright, use your pad and we’ll come and sort you out later”. This has really upset my niece who’s dodging sepsis now, on the ward, on massive IV antibiotics/anti-emetics and IV analgesia. She has narrowly avoided a ruptured uterus as there was no one to do a scan on her, after a 12 hr wait in A&E. She is 32.

Nurses now... all of ‘em have degrees. All dead clever. Very few of them have an ounce of “caring” in them.

Fry me on here. I’m past fucking caring.

Should add. I trained in the NHS. Was a student/junior staff nurse/senior staff nurse/junior sister and G grade senior sister before retirement. Never, in my f***g life have I seen such lack of basic care and maintenance of human dignity than I have witnessed in NHS hospitals, in the past two years.

Shove your clapping and rainbows.

I also had a bad experience with an ward Nurse a couple of weeks ago. I was waiting for a minor Gynaecological procedure but was petrified because they had attempted it a couple of weeks earlier in the out patients department and it had been very painful ( stenosed cervix that wouldn't open). I was also highly fearful of catching covid. I was already in a state, when the Nurse said my weight was "off the scale" and "it was time to go on a diet ". I was mortified, I know I am very overweight and was already highly embarrassed at having to have my bits on display. At this point I could not stop the tears coming. Whilst waiting in a small room in a gown whilst they got the examination room ready I could hear a gang of them laughing about some piece of machinery with one saying to the other " put that on yer tits " and guffaws of laughter. I'm not a prude but it was highly unprofessional.

I used to work in the NHS and worked with adult physical health nurses, support staff, occupational therapists, physio therapists, mental health nurses and psychologists.

Some were wonderful. Others not so much. I had to leave because I was burned out. More and more was being asked of us all. The trouble with the terrible staff was that a) there wasn’t enough staff anyway and b) horrendously hard to get rid of them. These staff were more likely to be moved to another area in the NHS rather than let go of.

Never enough staff or resources but in the 7 years I worked for the NHS it got progressively worse.

@skinneryu

I wanted to add also I am a Degree nurse . I witnessed some terrible episodes of care when I was a student and the nurses responsible were all " old school" ( no degree) . You were deemed to be a trouble maker if raised concerns and spoke up. I had to say many of times no we mustn't use the bed sheets, we need to use a slide sheet or we can cause injuries . Lots of them used to do a bed bath which was questionable , it involved no mouth-care whatsoever, the patients own clothes remained bagged up with them just putting hospital pjs on because it was easier , they didn't want to sit patients out in chairs , would say exactly what you said " oh just do it in your pad". Where's is the dignity in that? It was me the degree nurse who would be getting patients up , washed, teeth cleaned, hearing aids in glasses on so they could see , reminding them to stand to relieve pressure , walking them to the bathroom, helping them in the shower , feeding them not just plonking it out of their reach. Care and compassionate cannot be taught !

I shudder when I think back to being a student Nurse in the eighties, the care is so much better these days. The things we were left to deal with as first year students and then blamed when things went wrong have stuck with me for ever and caused lasting mental health issues. I think degree Nurses have so much better training and are not thrown in at the deep end which can only be a good thing.

Did I? Did I say EVERYONE was awful?

I give up.

I honestly used to think the NHS could do no wrong but after recently having gone through a horrendous experience myself, as well as watching two close family members pass away (one of which we have recently just won a medical negligence case for) and the supposed 'care' they received, I have to say my opinion has changed. The only thing I would say you ABU about is just applying this to nurses, as, from what I have seen, it's doctors, GP's, consultants, etc. too. Not all of them, of course, but these instances seem to be becoming all too regular which is worrying and you are absolutely right that this should be called out when it happens. I don't buy the Covid excuses either, one close family member passed away pre-covid and one during and the 'care' for both of them was equally as shit.

@AnnieGetYourPun your thread title literally implies that the standard of nursing care across the whole nhs is crap.

And can honestly say you never worked with any nurses who weren't great at their job?
As an ex professional this cannot be a surprise to you.
It's sad that the poor cases always outweigh the many many good ones.

@Blueemeraldagain

I was in hospital for a week recently (on a gynae ward as it happens) and would say it wasn’t that the nurses didn’t care, it was that they couldn’t care. Or at least they couldn’t care to the standard they wanted to. They were constantly rushed off their feet/understaffed and trying to juggle the varying need of the six patients in my room alone. Yes, there were times when I had to buzz more than once for help to go to the toilet or to refill my water jug but I never felt anything other than warmth and care from them.

This about sums it up I reckon. They are understaffed and just don't have the time.

It isn't a recent thing though. Last time I was in hospital was over 20 years ago, and it was like that then too.

My elderly dad with Parkinson’s dementia was given bottled water in kings Lyn hospital. They didn’t unscrew the lid. He couldn’t do it. When we visited there were three bottles lined up next to his bed. No one had helped him have a drink. He died in that hospital alone (pre Covid). He fell over in the toilet and out of bed. The care was terrible.

When I had my babies I found the overnight agency staff were unkind.

@MayYouLiveInInterestingTimes. I think you’re correct.

This country, generally, is on its knees.

My DH has been in two different hospitals for the last 2 months. Communication has sometimes been tricky, in that we can't visit, he's often confused and no one has time to talk to me about what's going on with his care/treatment/progress but he has nothing but very enthusiastic praise for the nursing care he's receiving.

I’m sitting on the paediatric ward with dd atm. The nurses (and drs) have been fab. Thank you.

I'm sick of hearing that the NHS doesn't have enough money though. The waste! Whilst DH has been in hospital he's been receiving approx 3 letters in the post per week, which he can't see, but even if he could, who sends letters these days? They're all copied to the GP by mail too.

Last week he was supposed to have a three hour treatment but no one told the ward so he missed it. They did it next day, but that's a whole afternoon of wasted staff and equipment.

I firmly believe they have enough money, they need to spend it more efficiently.

@foodtoorder... you’ve not read the whole thread. I don’t blame you, it being 10 pages long. Yes, I’ve worked with staff who perhaps had chosen the wrong carrier path, shall we say. No one is perfect but... this thread shows that there are many stories of good nursing to be told and as many of poor nursing/hospital standards. To deny it because even thinking it offends, never mind saying it out loud, leaves all of us extremely vulnerable.

Sorry your daughter is suffering, that sounds awful.

In my experience, Ive seen terrible care (completely lacking) and outstanding care. I think the problem is that care is very patchy.

Ive known several people go into nursing who are completely unsuited to it, just because there's a shortage and its good pay.

I also know some nurses who are outstanding and extremely dedicated.

I think a lot is down to poor pay, a lack of appreciation and compassion fatigue.

It used to break my heart, visiting my elderly father in hospital, with no one giving him water or fresh food, emptying the catheter or simply comforting him.

I think part of the problem is that we're constantly told that everyone in the NHS is a hero, sees us through from cradle to grave, we're so lucky because in the USA you have to go bankrupt so be grateful etc. And then when you get into hospital you find it's a bit crap and dirty and there's some people who not only are not heroes but also are incompetent and lazy, and that doesn't fit with what you've had drummed into you all your life and especially this last year.

But actually if you thought about it for a minute or two you'd know that obviously you can't fund a decent health system that accords with modern standards just via taxation, so yes it will be a bit crap and dirty and let you down when that's what you do.

Spending a year fucking clapping like seals hasn't helped with this national cognitive dissonance, have to say.

Caring is an emotion not a profession. You have to give a shit to do it properly.

@PerfidiousAlbion. Quite so. It’s just so distressing to see/hear of these things and getting more frequent.

@TheyWalkAroundInWellies. I know nursing has always been tough. No one goes into it without knowing they’re going to work a shift (and quite possibly a good few hour unpaid overtime) for a salary which isn’t really reflective of the training, actual work and stress. I know that. May be, I’ve just been very unfortunate to have experienced such poor caring of late. However, I can see from the replies to my thread that I am absolutely not alone. The fact that we have a “free at the point of need” health service doesn’t mean you have to put up with rudeness, our loved ones going hungry and being dehydrated, medication not given, compassion not given etc.

And, we are paying for it.

I've been in hospital a few times over the last 5 years. Mostly for surgical reasons. Three different hospitals. I received exceptional care on every occasion. Every profession has a few bad apples but it doesn't mean the entire workforce is bad.

So many people here desperate to try and shut the OP up. Some nurses are fantastic, some don't give a shit and some most definitely are in the wrong job but the "all NHS workers are heroes" narrative is so all pervading, if you talk about bad experiences you aren't believed or it's downplayed by other nurses. Exactly as its happening here.

My ex, a man totally devoid of any empathy, the most selfish, nasty, forceful man I've ever met became a nurse. He is the absolute last person I would ever want looking after anyone I love in hospital. It's highly unlikely he's a one off. On the other hand I know other nurses who are fantastic caring people who do their best for their patients every day.

Oh I agree we shouldn't be putting up with it. But it's what we'll get all the time that we refuse to have a proper conversation about the health service we want.

Just look at what's happened this year. Infected patients sent to nursing homes to infect other vulnerable residents, people both with covid and without refused admission and treatment so that the government could show scenes of empty nightingale wards and tell us how well we were doing, all the time using the slogan "protect the NHS" and getting us to clap. Because they knew that as long as they tapped into this deluded notion that people in the UK have about a health system that really isn't very good, they could get away with pretty much anything, including 130000 deaths.

I hope your niece gets better soon and doesn't have to spend too long in there.

9 times out of 10 when my wife goes into work, she will have 15 patients to care for, most of them with dementia and 1 or 2 on end of life care, having 15 patients, she is highly unlikely to have 1 break in her 12 and half hours, 1 of the reasons her trust owes her 220 hours worth of pay! How the hell can she be expected to give the high level of care that she would normally do!

But hey ho, the NHS will be losing a great nurse in the next 3 months, as she has had enough

Its been replaced by nurses sitting at computers. They get more attention than the patients.

That's disgusting behaviour, but sadly I'm not shocked.

Shock horror mumsnet, but not every nurse and/or carer is a pure saint. I'd actually have to say more than you'd like to think are absolutely fucking shocking and shouldn't be left in charge of rocks, let alone people.

Thankfully many nurses are brilliant and are great at their jobs, known many of them as well. But I've known far too many that are horrible people. Remember, the NHS is rife with bullying, my local hospital has had several investigations. Nurses make up a good proportion of the staff in hospitals. Doesn't take a genius to work out where the problem is.

It's a bloody tough job, but if you can't do it properly, then don't do it at all. Don't make up excuses for why you suck at it. I would suck at it, I know i would, hence why I'm not a nurse.

Project 2000

That’s what happened