Airbrushed parenting vs my actual day...

[OHthatbanana]

So I was thinking about the 'parenting' I have done today and realised on the surface it actually doesn't look that bad...

Here is what I could write on social media to seem like a lovely mummy annoying twat- :

Today my darling 3 year old woke us up with a smile. My lovely husband made us pancakes and bacon for breakfast while I peacefully drank my tea. Then a wonderful family dog walk followed by baking and gardening with my little angel. Now relaxing together for the rest of the afternoon. #blessed #sugarfreecake #familytime

BUT here is what really went down...

Woke up to our 3yo diving into our bed and kicking us lovingly in the face and screeching wildly. He then decided daddy had to get up and let the dog out and tbh I totally agreed 😁

There were indeed pancakes for breakfast. The house slowly filled with smoke while I navigated a toddler tantrum about... I think it was wanting to go for a walk... while trying to drink tea and keep the dog out the way of the screaming child.

I did the washing up of course while said child wipes a dirty sponge on the window by the kitchen sink. He was helping apparently... I decided it wasn't worth the fight and he cheerfully carried on.

Our delightful dog walk consisted of a tearful toddler who only wanted to hold daddy's hand and was in constant danger of being tangled in a dog lead.

Baking was actually me dumping an instant cake mix into a bowl and watching with a sad accepting smile as ds smeared the mix into his thick curly hair. It's ok though, he wiped the excess on his clothes. I hate baking...

I turned around and was shocked to find more washing up had been magically created. So I sent ds into the garden unsupervised while I washed up and checked Facebook

Gardening was just me filling up plant pots and attempting to get ds's attention long enough for him to put a seed in, all while he screeched loudly pretending to be annoying a clanger. I also hate gardening...

Now I have stuffed myself with definitely NOT sugar free cake and stuck a movie on so I can get an hours relaxing time and contemplate whether I should feel more mum guilt than normal or just go with a regular amount

Aibu to ask for your versions of your perfect days vs what actually happens because I'm fed up of all the 'perfect instamums' and actually think none of us are doing that badly in the grand scheme of things?

Woke up to my beautiful 4 month old smiling at me, chilled in bed until 9am then got up and had some floor time. Made bacon rolls and had a zoom session with family so they could see little one. Spent the day relaxing and watching the rugby.

Reality
Woke up to my beautiful 4 month old smiling at me (at 5am), chilled in bed until 9am (desperately trying to get baby back to sleep after bottle, gave up at 9) then got up and had some floor time (my arms ached from carrying said 4 month old for over a mile the previous day as the pram was not sufficient, so he got plonked on the floor to entertain himself for a bit). Made bacon rolls and had a zoom session with family so they could see little one (this part was accurate). Spent the day relaxing (fell out with partner after he flopped on the sofa while holding baby and made him scream) and watching the rugby (while trying to calm screaming baby who decided we were starving him because he hadn't eaten in 2 hours)

It's days like today that remind me how lucky I am to have four such special kids. You keep me laughing and smiling and, even better bring me tea in bed #blessed [accompanied by pic of airbrushed me smiling with joy at a cup of tea]

DH and I had one to many glasses of wine last night and woke to sound of youngest listening to very bellicose YouTuber without headphones. Other DC lurched around looking deprived until I produced breakfast, cleared up afterwards and started planning lunch. DC #3 complained about lunch before I'd even started cooking. Cooked and cleared up lunch. Hoovered around DC as they lifted feet to allow hoover to pass (#blessed) while they chatted loudly with mates via Discord. Small break to wash and hang out x3 loads of laundry largely retrieved from their rooms then small break followed by supper planning. Cooked and cleared up their supper. Now have wine and takeaway menu.
Tea was cold from day before.

Lovely frosty morning. Going to be sunny. DH agrees to look after DD (disabled) while I do a Teams meeting call (provided he can do a run first) and then I can do 2 hours in the garden before he leaves for work.

DD up at 5 as usual. Exhausted from going back to nursery this week.
DH goes for his run. Meeting was cancelled.
DH decides he has to work while I deal with tantrums, bathing DD, feeding her, trying to get get myself dressed.
I get half an hour in the garden. I do nothing productive (reverse what I did last week). During which..
DH plays computer games while DD screams about watching a movie she didn’t want.

DH leaves for work over an hour earlier than usual (no reason). Comes home on a mood and hides in the kitchen while I deal with tantrums etc.

Ok, I have a DH problem

Dh drove by the field on the way home in the tractor and saw the pram, stuck it in his trailer. He said I found a pram, hope the owner is ok.....

I ignored his ridiculous statement and lifted it down, raging, folded it up and put it in boot. Why was I unable to do this earlier!!

Woke up at 630, kids had hot cross buns and DH had a lie in, we spent a lovely afternoon walking in the glorious sun with the two doggies and now both kids tucked up in bed while I have a large Prosecco

Reality: son woke up at 630 am screaming I didn’t wee my bed!! Waking older child up who came piling out of room, we had breakfast (HCB) and stayed in pjs al day until we realised we were out of milk so had to go to shops. Got home, tv on, had dinner, bed for kids. Still having a large Prosecco. #makingfuckingmemorieshere

Love a dose of reality!
I will take an oath never to use #makingmemories ever in any sentence or post. Just coz you are doing something doesn't mean anyone will remember it...you can bet your arse they will not remember what you want them to remember but the stupid incidental stuff you don't plan.

So #blessed to have such an amazing #daddy for my boys. He took them for a lovely walk in the sunshine with my #furbaby and even stopped in at the skate park leaving me at home to have some #metime

Reality DH was told very early this morning to leave with the DC and the dog and not come back until I'd had a chance to clean the midden that we call a home.

@CelestialGalaxy #makingmemories makes me irrationally angry 😆

Oh man some of these have made me giggle 😆

Luckily Dh looked after ds this afternoon while I got to close my eyes and listen to the radio #SoSoBlessed

Did I mention this was in the dentists chair while I had a root canal? #Relaxed #MakeTimeForYou

Social media:
Went for a fantastic run at 7.00am, so great & energizing! Returned to find DH feeding kids porridge, plenty left for me too. Took out the kids for a gorgeous walk in the sun, home for lunch in the garden. While DD napped peacefully, DS and I planted peppers and tomatoes, then went for a lovely bike ride while DH ran the laundry.

Reality
DS came in at 6.30am to announce he had wet the bed. Went "running" to escape the kids. Arrived home to find pan ruined with burnt porridge - was offered DDs portion since she refused to touch it.

Went for walk with kids. DD sat down in horse shit and DS sulked whole time because we weren't going past sweet shop. Ate lunch in garden because I couldnt be bothered to tidy kitchen table so we could eat at it. DD again refused to eat.
DS then emptied whole expensive bag of compost onto the lawn "helping me", then got his bike out without asking and nearly got hit by a car in front of the house.

DH ruined two expensive wool cardigans putting them in a regular wash, reducing them to a ball of felt.

woke up to find both children had made their own breakfast and were sat lovely in the living room just chillin. Enjoyed a quiet cup of tea while watching telly, DH appeared in his uniform ready for a day at work, the kids and i decided to get a bit green fingered.
Once washed and dressed, out we went where we de-weeded the plants, turned over the soil, swept the whole area, then sat and enjoyed a few rays and a cold juice, before making tea together and enjoying a family evening in together #love #familytime #productive #perfection #blahdefuckingblah.
Reality:
Woke up went down stairs to see the kids had indeed made there own breakfast with a shit ton of washing up and it was all chocolate based, drank my tea outside as it was quieter. DH came down in his work uniform (he does not work a Saturday) to inform me he is giving a neighbour a hand with some building work. Went outside with trowel and other tools, kids went outside with chairs, proceeded to sit there on their phones/console, while i did the gardening, although i did get some chat, a very enthusiastic what! eh! no! occasionally.
Came in to start tea, we were all in the kitchen (not chipping in) with the words repeated over and over, how long will it be, i'm starving, is it ready yet. I am now on the wine ignoring everyone.
Happy Saturday everyone

Love this thread!
Beautiful sunny day, DP pottering in the shed fixing up a table for his Mum while l chill in the garden, then a lovely phone chat with DS who's off at uni before popping round to see my dear old Mum for a catch up and the crossword ...
Or - DP taking up the whole kitchen with this sodding table thing he's been building since befor Christmas. His Mum rings every 20 minutes or so wanting to know when he's going to finish it. Planks and power tools everywhere. The cats are all hiding in the larder. He keeps going in and out and bangs the door every time. I can't study so l skulk off into the garden because it's that or take a bread knife to him. DS rings up to tell me he got pissed last night and punched a tree. He's been in A and E all night. His hand's in plaster. He's a guitarist so this isn't ideal. Kitchen still full of DP and eleventy thousand bits of gluey wood. I go round to my Mum's and do her feet. She has a weird toenail fungus thing l'm ultra paranoid about catching. We do the crossword, she's very deaf so l have to shout all the clues. I half expect the people next door to join in and start bellowing the answers back through the dividing wall. Go home, stare at unspeakably dull NVQ for a while then give up and drink wine.

@Grendalsmum you win for me! This one really made me laugh 😂😂😂

When I was younger, punching a tree and spending the night in a&e is exactly the sort of thing I’d have done 😁

Lovely walk with DD(7) and the dog in the sunshine. Lots of quality mother - daughter time.

Reality
One of the fish died. DS(9) who is autistic refused to get dressed and refused to leave the house. Would not talk to us.
Took DD and the dog out to escape.

DS spent the afternoon on the PlayStation shouting at the TV, I let him because I couldn't face a meltdown. Spent time with DD as she doesn't often get attention due to DS. Life is tough at the moment!

It isn’t even 10am and I have been on the verge of losing my shit twice.

Five year old is having a tantrum in his room because he doesn’t want omlette for lunch, we’re not having omlette, we’re having a stir fry, a stir fry he chose. Fun times.

flappityflippers1 Me too! I suspect it's hereditary ...