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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Why it is my mistake

15 replies

gg12346 · 27/02/2021 12:16

yesteday was a very bad day .We are all happy coping with lockdown and its was DS birthday coming up .Now I got my covid vaccine and started having chills and fever and also a bit of sore pain in the arm .It was about to be night and DH is a good husband and was playing with DS and trying to engage with him .I was grumpy I needed the bed and I had no energy .Somehow DH started to scold DS for his rude behaviour and then all a sudden DS hitted DH which I never knew .DS came back to me crying sobbing and then since I was soo weak in energy and I wanted DH to undertstand that I cant be part of this atleast now ,I just cuddled DS and asked him to sleep with me .( DH got furious and started shouting ) ( obviously he didnt wanted me to the cuddle to him for bad behaviour ) .I had enough and went to DH in the other room and told him I needed rest.DH said I was not sick and I am just being an attention seeker .What the hell ! I started shouting saying that DH should be understanding and all .DH went on ego trip and in the night even asked me very rudely to take my medcine .

Now in the morning Dh is blaming me that I have shown bad behviour and DS is sad because of it .AIBU to say thats its all a communication problem and not a bad behaviour from myside and DH should have been more sympathic ( obviously I am not dying ) but still

OP posts:
Hopdathelf · 27/02/2021 12:34

You should have kept right out of it or backed your husband up.

GoldenOmber · 27/02/2021 12:36

How old is DS?

LIZS · 27/02/2021 12:36

Why did you take a child into the bed when you were poorly. How old is he? Agree you should have let dh deal with it if you wanted peace.

JanuaryBirthdays · 27/02/2021 12:41

I don't think you were in the wrong. Consoling an upset child is not wrong. Explaining to them when they are more emotionally regulated is in the best interests of everyone, rather than when he is crying and upset. I don't see how withholding love because he did something wrong is helpful.

Racoonworld · 27/02/2021 12:42

You do sound a bit over dramatic. Bit of a sore arm after a vaccine, most people just get on with it. Agree you shouldn’t have interfered.

Seeline · 27/02/2021 12:45

To be fair I felt really I'll after my vaccine, so some people are having to deal with a bit more than a sore arm.

But it sounds as though you both need to grow up and talk to each other.

TingTastic · 27/02/2021 12:47

YABU.

So you were soooo weak you couldn’t deal with your son, yet you could go and find DH in another room and shout at him!

Gazelda · 27/02/2021 12:47

If you were disciplining DS and DH undermined you, wouldn't you be cross?
I'm sorry you're experiencing side effects from the vaccine, but if you want your DH to parent DS while you don't feel up to it, then don't interfere.
Having said that, he should be more sympathetic.
Hope you're feeling better today.

HikeForward · 27/02/2021 12:48

If you were ill enough to take to your bed I think you should have let DH deal with the tantrum (not displaced DH from the bed without knowing the full story)

Hankunamatata · 27/02/2021 12:51

Storm in a really cup. Unless theres a huge backstory to this, it's a standard family argument

AintPageantMaterial · 27/02/2021 12:56

You all seem to behave badly and also communicate badly.
It’s all just very immature.

Meowchickameowmeow · 27/02/2021 13:03

The whole thing sounds like a shit show. Do you usually communicate so badly? You should have asked your husband what happened before you did anything else.

SionnachGlic · 27/02/2021 13:18

I don't think I have the energy to unpick this one. OP, can you both accept there was wrong on both sides, agree strategy going forward so it doesn't happen again (you will need it) & both say sorry.

migmogmash · 27/02/2021 13:30

@Racoonworld

You do sound a bit over dramatic. Bit of a sore arm after a vaccine, most people just get on with it. Agree you shouldn’t have interfered.
In fairness, some people including me have felt really unwell after the vaccine. I had a temperature, muscle aches, headache and all over weakness. I basically slept for 24hrs. So I can believe the OP maybe felt genuinely unwell with it.
VladmirsPoutine · 27/02/2021 13:43

Look it seems everyone's tempers were really frayed and given the state of things I can't blame anyone who's feeling a bit or a lot on the edge. Chalk it up to everyone just being not their best selves and a lack of communication. There doesn't need to be a blame game. When everyone's calmed down perhaps have a chat about it. No shouting or finger pointing.

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