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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wean the way I did with my eldest (old recommendations)

52 replies

babyweaning · 27/02/2021 10:37

With dc1 I was told to wean by giving some solid food instead of a milk feed once a day at 4 months.
I agree with current advice to wait till 6m but I’ve found with my youngest if I follow current advice to give milk first then solids she’s just too full up !
So what I’ve been doing is replacing her second breastfeed of the day with some porridge and she’s eating it. The HV says this isn’t what’s recommended and I need to follow advice.

The porridge is made up with breastmilk and a bit of fruit too so in a way it’s a partial milk feed ?
I don’t think HV realises I need to get things going well with weaning as I do have to go back to work and she refuses a bottle !
AIBU to do things the ‘old fashioned way’

OP posts:
Fuckadoodledoooo · 27/02/2021 10:58

where I was at the time

Original poster
babyweaning · 27/02/2021 11:02

@LouNatics

Wean however you like. How old is your eldest though? It’s been six months for twenty years I think? My older teens were both weaned at 6 months
Eldest dc is 19 I think the advice changed the year or 2 after to wean at 6m not 4. But I do agree with that part it’s just the issue of giving milk before food advice now
OP posts:
CaramelCup · 27/02/2021 11:03

I would say that sounds ok. If I was being really picky, I would say you don’t need to put the fruit purée in. It just makes baby’s have a sweet tooth and then they aren’t so keen on veg.

WhatWouldPhyllisCraneDo · 27/02/2021 11:05

The advice to wean at 6 months was just coming in 16 years ago where I am. The "bump to 5" book (or whatever it was called) that the NHS gave out said to wean at 6 months. HVs were still saying 4 months as they hadn't had any updated training. It made knowing what was the best thing to do very difficult as a young 1st time mum!

What you are doing sounds fine to me OP. I can't remember if i gave milk or food first Hmm

Ponoka7 · 27/02/2021 11:07

While I support BLW and as much sensory play as possible is good, it isn't always workable in rl. Being in my 50's, I was spoon fed and given finger foods. I did the same with my three. I don't see children suffering for not being fully blw. Where I live blw means a packet of quavers/skips as soon as the baby can coordinate. Then junk/ff put in front of them. There's a in between that wouldn't necessarily get official approval of a HV, but isn't evidence based that's there's anything wrong with it. I'm not surprised that Mum anxiety is on the increase if HVs are expecting super mums.

HelebethH · 27/02/2021 11:07

Do what you feel is right. I appreciate HV may have lots of training and their advice is valuable, but it is not law. Every child is different. There is a generation of adults weaned on the old advice and belive it or not we all survived. In 20 years time the advice will be different again.

CecilyP · 27/02/2021 11:09

I thought BLW or purées were just a matter of choice (different things suit different babies/families), and the advice that milk will be the main source of nutrition until one is helpful both to reassure mums whose babies are slow at taking solids and to ensure that all babies still get plenty of milk. I think your HV is overreaching herself and common sense would suggest filling up with milk first wouldn’t leave much room for anything else. If you hadn’t contacted her about the eczema, you wouldn’t have even questioned what you are doing.

Ponoka7 · 27/02/2021 11:11

Just to add that I've never known anyone to give milk first. The baby has to be hungry enough to accept the food.

Ch3rish · 27/02/2021 11:13

All kinds of things changed over the course of my children's births and so much has changed since then but they've made it to adulthood perfectly well on the advice of 20 years ago. As long as you aren't endangering the health of you childwithin reason just crack on.

bigbluebus · 27/02/2021 11:14

If you've got a 19 year old then I'm sure you know that what you are doing is causing no harm at all. Baby led weaning wasn't even a thing when my DCs were small. Generations of people have grown up just fine without interference advice on what happens to be trending from well meaning health visitors. Do what works for your baby and you. If she's happy and putting on weight, don't stress yourself over it. My DS also had severe eczema as a baby. He is now a strapping 24 year old who has long since outgrown his eczema and has no digestive issues from being fed the 'old' way.

Fuckadoodledoooo · 27/02/2021 11:15

Also there is nothing wrong with spoon feeding puree and giving blw foods together. I've always done both at the same time but some people tend to get really, really fixed on doing either on or the other.

Fuckadoodledoooo · 27/02/2021 11:17

As an aside, when my 18 year old was a baby one doctor looked at me like I had two heads when I said he enjoyed picking up bits of soft veg to eat at 6 months - I was firmly told he should just be on puree! So things change all the time. I've just gone with what ever feels right to be honest.

C152 · 27/02/2021 11:24

Do what works for you and your child. 'Advice' and 'guidance' are just that; they aren't laws or rules one can never break.

It sounds like what you're doing is right. When I first started weaning my son (at 3 months, because he was ready then), I gave him a bowl of rice porridge once a day, then milk the rest of the day. We did that for one week, then the following week we increased to 2 meals per day, with milk at other times, then three meals a day. (Meals weren't anything fancy, just food I made at home and mashed up / blended for him.)

Wotsitsarecheesy · 27/02/2021 11:29

As others have said - just do what works for you. Not all HV are any good. With DS16, my HV told me off for 'starving' him because he should have been eating meat at 5 months. Advice at the time was BF till 6 months.

JesusAteMyHamster · 27/02/2021 11:36

BLW is just a fancy word for finger foods .....we always did a mixture depending on the time of day. Breakfast would inevitably be fed by me as I wouldn't have the time to tit about and clean up afterwards. Lunch and snacks would be a mixture and dinner time would be a mix of me.feeding so some food would go in and baby helping themselves.

Just go with what's best for your baby, I'd be politely ignoring the health visitors advice on this one.

Pip64hogwash · 27/02/2021 11:48

Could you get her to drink some milk out of a cup? That way when you go back to work you have the option of either some food or milk. My son was a bottle refuser too and it can be so stressful!

NoSquirrels · 27/02/2021 11:53

It’s fine. Carry on!

NoSquirrels · 27/02/2021 11:55

Give her some expressed milk alongside her porridge breakfast in a sippy cup. She’ll probably ignore it but you never know. Best of both worlds.

Mumoftwoinprimary · 27/02/2021 12:03

To be honest a 6:30am feed and a 9:30am feed could be seen as “normal” anyway. That is pretty much my eldest’s pattern. So you are giving milk feeds as normal. Just adding the porridge as well.

loopyapp · 27/02/2021 12:08

Firstly OP buy a tidy tot or bibado bin .. Saves clothes and no getting changed after meals.

Your HV is right an extent that until they're 1 food is meant to be more for fun than replacing breast milk which is nutritionally better for them, especially babies with issues like skin and dietary intolerance.

I'd be thinking about trying her with a sippy cup of breast milk, a lot.of them require similar tongue action to breast feeding and dont flood their mouths with milk.

As for morning routine dont worry avout this because whatever you implement will go out the window once shes at nursery as they try to have them all kinda following a set timescale they set.

I'd just keep exclusively breastfeeding her and allowing her to play/eat food at her own pace and once she goes to nursery provide them with expressed milk and food. She will consume one or both when she is hungry and away from you. I would recommend a few shorter sessions in the run up to going back to work so she can get used to it before its non optional ha

Spidder · 27/02/2021 12:30

My hv told me that as ds was a big lad, and I was bf, I should give him food at 4 months. This was in 2010, when advice was all meant to be 6 months. I ignored it. And my mum who told me to put rusks I a bottle, cos she did with me from 3 months.

Velvian · 27/02/2021 12:33

I think that's fine. I allowed myself to be swayed to do baby led weaning with DD, when I felt it wasn't right for her. She choked and I had to whack her on the back several times before she could breathe again.

She is still a bit of a chokey child now at 10 and had a slight speech delay. I really felt it wasn't right for her and I think I had picked up on some things that told me that. After that I worked up from purees and that worked much better for her.

Trust your instinct with what's best. As long as the baby is at least 4 months, I think a bit of mush is OK.

BendingSpoons · 27/02/2021 12:53

It sounds like your baby is having plenty of milk. Mine were always milk monsters so I never worried about giving milk first. When I went back to work when DD was 8.5m she had her milk intake between 6pm and 8am (4-5 feeds in that period) and solids during the day. Over 24hrs she was getting plenty.

Hankunamatata · 27/02/2021 12:55

I always offered some food then top up bf

dementedpixie · 27/02/2021 13:01

I always offered food in between milk feeds. I didn't drop a feed to add in solids though. The milk dropped as the solids increased.