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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

My builder just took my fireplace

342 replies

Designjunkie · 27/02/2021 09:09

I am currently having some building work done and a fireplace in the bedroom had to be removed. It is a very pretty tiled Victorian one. I had intended to sell it but with lockdown and not having any place to store it I told my builder to get rid of it. At 07:30 this Saturday morning my husband answers the door to one of the builders saying he needs to take some stuff from our site. He doesn’t say what he is taking. We weren’t expecting them today although they usually work on most Saturdays so we weren’t surprised to see one of them. It’s only when my husband sees a van from a fireplace specialist outside that he clicks that the builders have sold our fireplace. By then it is too late to go and stop them as they leave before my husband can go talk to them. AIBU to be annoyed my builder didn’t tell me what he was up to or am I being ungrateful as I told him to get rid of it ? I feel it was a bit underhand as it just happened without my knowledge. Should I say anything to my builder or let it go ?

OP posts:
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partyatthepalace · 27/02/2021 09:58

@Designjunkie

Fair enough. I think I am more annoyed with myself. It was more the way it was done. A knock on the door at 7:30 and not telling us what was happening. I think if he had taken it away himself it wouldn’t have appeared slightly off. Made it seem he knew it was a bit sneaky. Anyway, you’re all right. Just needed to hear it from someone else.
How is having a fireplace specialist van outside your house sneaky?! If he hadn’t wanted you to know he was selling it he’d have collected it in his own van.

Seriously OP, you feel you have screwed up by dumping rather than selling a valuable item. DO NOT project that frustration onto your builder to imply he is doing you down - he isn’t - you told him to get shot of it. Of COURSE he will sell it, it’s worth something. His assumption will be you didn’t because you didn’t want the hassle.

You need to own your mistakes OP, not seal to blame others. It’s not attractive.

Designjunkie · 27/02/2021 10:01

Maybe it is lockdown making me crazy 🤪. I’m usually quite level headed! I feel like a right idiot now. I never thought I would thank you for slating me. Thanks for making me see sense.

OP posts:
Walkaround · 27/02/2021 10:03

The builder was the opposite of sneaky - you don’t send the buyer round to pick up the fireplace if you want to pretend “getting rid of it” doesn’t involve a more environmentally friendly option than throwing it away - and he has got rid of it for the OP as requested. And the OP was upset about it because it turns out she did have room to store it for as long as it takes to find a buyer. Grin

Livelovebehappy · 27/02/2021 10:06

My DH is self employed in construction and often gets customers asking him to take or dispose of stuff that can sometimes be sold for a profit. (I’m not talking thousands of pounds, but maybe a couple of hundred). It’s not his place to research how much something is worth on behalf of the customer, sell it for them, then hand over the money. In your shoes I would have seen how much it was worth by comparing on eBay similar items, then just put on eBay or gumtree for socially distanced collection/payment.

Disressingtimes · 27/02/2021 10:07

@Designjunkie

I would have expected him to let me know what time someone would be showing up at my house, especially as 07:30 on a weekend is outside of working hours. Common courtesy ?
A skip we ordered was delivered at 7:30 this morning, we were his 3rd delivery! Some trades get an early start so they can finish and have half day Sat & all day Sunday off. Not everyone works 9-5 so it probably doesn’t seem strange to them.
JesusAteMyHamster · 27/02/2021 10:12

I don't think yabu at all........if he'd said I know a specialist dealer we can sell this to shall we split 50/50 you wouldn't have been bothered. But he'd turned up early morning, asked to come into the house without even saying what it was for and taken something to sell.

Hd wouldn't have done any 'work'. If he's like any builder I know he'd have phoned his mate Rod or whatever he's called to come round. He wouldn't have been sat there with the yellow pages 🤨

We had a similar thing happen when a massive, copper boiler got removed. I actually knew it was worth something as both my uncles collected copper metal and would sell once a year or so. It used to pay for my uncles holidays each year. The builders also knew it was worth something as without even asking or telling me a scrap man came to collect. I soon poked my head through the window and held my hand out for the money that was being passed over !

andyoldlabour · 27/02/2021 10:14

This has to be the ultimate dead end thread Grin

PhilCornwall1 · 27/02/2021 10:15

Consider it a lesson OP.

Architectural Salvage can be worth a few quid and I bet on that fireplace he's made a few.

Kazzyhoward · 27/02/2021 10:17

It's well known that tradesmen sell stuff and re-use stuff on other jobs. Did you really think he'd just thrown it in the skip?

You told him to get rid of it. What he's done wit it is not your concern.

Hesma · 27/02/2021 10:18

Ha ha... you’re pissed because he did exactly what you cba to do. You told him to get rid.. he did.., your bad 🤣

AlfonsoTheTerrible · 27/02/2021 10:19

OP, I like your attitude. I can understand your feeling upset and you have taken on responses with grace.

borntobequiet · 27/02/2021 10:20

How is it sneaky to knock on your door?

FurrySlipperBoots · 27/02/2021 10:20

I sold my Great-Gran's jewelry at a car boot sale. It was hideously ugly and it just didn't occur to me it might be valuable, so I literally just gave it away for a couple of quid. The excitement of the buyer was evident and I realise with hindsight it must have been worth something. I've been kicking myself since, but I can't blame the dealer who bought it. She recognised a value in it that I didn't, at the time I just wanted rid. We were both just doing what we considered was best for us at the time, just as you and your builder were. Move on, OP, is my advice, as dwelling just makes you bitter.

SoulofanAggron · 27/02/2021 10:28

I told him to get rid of it ? I feel it was a bit underhand as it just happened without my knowledge.

@Designjunkie It didn't happen without your knowledge, you told him to do it. Maybe you changed your mind but he wasn't to know that.

You could ask him what specialist he's sold it to, and buy it back from them? But sounds like you have an abundance of fireplaces somehow, anyway.

londonscalling · 27/02/2021 10:28

Forget the fireplace ... I would not be happy about being woken up at 7.30am Smile We are night owls and at the weekend we go to bed around 2am and get up fairly late!

lighteincastlewindow · 27/02/2021 10:31

You are rightly annoyed, but at yourself, you can't blame the builder. You told him get rid, he saw it was worth something and made the effort to reclaim it. You didn't.

Alexandernevermind · 27/02/2021 10:32

Its pretty standard for builders to sell anything they can to salvage yards, it comes with the territory. My DH isn't a builder but is in the construction trade. If anything comes off site can be sold or repurposed it will be.
I would be pissed off by an unexpected knock on the door at 7.30 on a Saturday morning by my builders though. I work Saturdays, but am still in my pjs that early. You should have said it wasn't convenient and to come back when the site was working. I would imagine the early Saturday morning pick up was so that the other contractors on site didn't see he had sold it.

BanningTheWordNaice · 27/02/2021 10:33

To be honest I have no sympathy for people who buy houses with beautiful items in them that can’t be replaced who then rip them out but he also did exactly what you told him to do so 🤷‍♀️.

GreenlandTheMovie · 27/02/2021 10:33

Oh dear OP, you've been naive and slow witted, and you're kicking yourself because you told them to do it and let them in to do it!

Now, if they had done what a garage once tried to do to me, you would have a right to complain. I dropped my car off to one to have my summer tyres replaced with winter tyres. The summer tyres were pretty new and an expensive brand with lots of tread left. I told them to put them in the car boot when finished. Collected car, was in a hurry and didn't check. Noticed the next day that the summer tyres weren't there and went back to the garage. They told me some tale about how they were worn and they're thrown them in the skip. I told them in no uncertain terms to return them. Never used that garage again. But entirely different scenario because as you know, you gave the builder permission to do this.

Henio · 27/02/2021 10:34

You basically couldn't be bothered to sell it yourself, told your builder to dispose of it and he did exactly as you told him, you can't blame lockdown for not being able to sell a fireplace Confused

StillGoingToWork · 27/02/2021 10:36

Angry ripping out original features.

Nothing to add.

SeasonFinale · 27/02/2021 10:37

If he wanted to be sneaky he would have taken it away in his van and then had the dealer collect from him. So actually he did so in the least unsneaky way possible. Indeed perhaps when you get the bill from him there may be a credit for the fireplace and then I hope you update the thread and apologise.

Even if there is not you did tell him to get rid so I assume you would have been happy if it had gone to a scrapyard anyway.

VettiyaIruken · 27/02/2021 10:38

You wanted rid of an original Victorian fireplace? Those things are gorgeous! Please tell me you didn't replace it with one of those modern monstrosities

SeasonFinale · 27/02/2021 10:38

@Designjunkie

Yes, my friend told me a similar story, they can be difficult to sell. I think she got £150 for a tiled Victorian one. I know they resell for around £1500.
No they really do not sell for £1500
RakeThrough · 27/02/2021 10:38

I would be annoyed with myself too OP (and have been with similar) but...oh well!

I think you builder was a bit sneaky - he probably knew that you would regret your decision and change your mind so wanted to get it all done asap. He clearly decided to bit his tongue and not let you know it has serious re-sale value with you let those word slip of of your mouth...I don't think all builders would've done that but you wouldn't be justified in saying anything now.

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