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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to expect my 3 year old to have same sleeping pattern at my house?

20 replies

Bibblybobs · 26/02/2021 22:53

My 3 year old has being a great sleeper, sleeping through since 6 months, from 7pm to 7/8am. He’s never being an early riser.
He stopped everyday naps before Christmas and has the odd one now if needed.

Last few weeks he’s started waking up at 5/6am and as soon as he is awake he shouts “mummy!!! Come get me” over and over again until I get him. I have tried going in and saying shhh it’s night time, I’ve spoke to him in the day about it (his vocab is a little behind), I’ve tried ignoring him - nothing works. He will just keep calling for me till I get him.
He does not do this when he is with his dad (8 nights a month), so it’s not like all of a sudden he’s turned into an early riser.
Me and his dad have same bedtime routine, both houses he sleeps in a dark, quiet room. I am puzzled.
I get that I’m lucky he sleeps through (eldest was an awful sleeper so I know how good I’ve had it with ds) but there must be something I’m missing here?

OP posts:

KindergartenKop · 26/02/2021 22:55

Are you sure his dad doesn't put him to bed later?

Original poster

Bibblybobs · 26/02/2021 22:58

@KindergartenKop no we put him to bed same time at both houses. I’ve tried slightly earlier and slightly later and it makes no difference.

OP posts:

icelollies · 26/02/2021 22:59

Sounds very normal to me!

Is it lighter in his room in the morning and that’s waking him early? Is he hungry? Can you just get him and snuggle him in bed with you for half an hour?

Original poster

Bibblybobs · 26/02/2021 23:01

It’s dark in both rooms in a morning. Don’t think he’s hungry.
He will come in my bed and watch tv, but I’d rather he slept a little longer. I’m not very well at the moment and the less sleep isn’t helping so I’m just wanting to know if others have being in similar situations and turned it around.

OP posts:

dotoallasyouwouldbedoneby · 26/02/2021 23:03

I'd let him come in with you...peace all round.

Original poster

Bibblybobs · 26/02/2021 23:06

@dotoalll it’s not really peaceful as he then wants a drink, wants a snack, wants YouTube, wants mummy to watch YouTube etc

OP posts:

Teacupsandtoast · 26/02/2021 23:08

He's 3. He might be processing something in his wee brain that he can't articulate, or his bodyclock has gone a bit haywire. He either comes in with you and snuggles, or you sit in the dark with him till an appropriate wake up time to 'reset' him. Both worked for my daughter when she decided 5am was a great time to start the day. A gro clock can assist too.

Jeremyironseverything · 26/02/2021 23:08

Put a post it note over the minutes of a digital clock, so that only the hour is seen. Write a 7 on it and tell him that he can wake you up when the numbers match. Tell him if they don't match, he can play in his room if he doesn't want to sleep any more, but he can't call for you if the numbers don't match. Then reward him if he gets it right. Good luck

Teacupsandtoast · 26/02/2021 23:09

A few mornings of sitting in the dark not entertaining the silliness sorted our issue out

OwlinaTree · 26/02/2021 23:10

Could you try a gro clock? He has to stay in bed until the sun comes up. You set it for 6 for eg and then when he gets used to waiting for the sun you can start moving the time 15 mins later till he's staying in bed until 7. Hopefully he'll get used to seeing the moon is still showing and he'll fall back to sleep while he's waiting.

UhtredRagnarson · 26/02/2021 23:10

I think it’s just one of these things you have to accept. Their sleeping habits change and won’t always be the same in different homes. My DC used to always have lovely big lie ins when staying over at my mums

Stellaroses · 26/02/2021 23:12

Gro clock worked for us. Until 7am, it was "night".

Original poster

Bibblybobs · 26/02/2021 23:12

I tried a gro clock before Xmas but he didn’t understand it, I might give it another go
When I spoke to him about it he just asks why, so I don’t think he understood me

OP posts:

MessAllOver · 26/02/2021 23:20

My DS associates my parents' house with sleep. No idea why. When we visit, he'll sleep until 9 in the morning and nap for a couple of hours in the afternoon. Then still falls asleep exhaustly on the sofa by 7.30pm and has to be carried up to bed. He never, ever does this at home .

endlesswicker · 26/02/2021 23:39

@Bibblybobs

I tried a gro clock before Xmas but he didn’t understand it, I might give it another go When I spoke to him about it he just asks why, so I don’t think he understood me

At that age, they can't really articulate what they mean when they ask why. So there's really no point in trying to explain or to reason with them, because they still won't get it.

Sometimes the answer to "Why?" just has to be "Because I say so"!

rosiejaune · 27/02/2021 01:22

Have you tried taking him to the toilet during the night? Maybe when you go to bed, if that's late enough to make it worthwhile.

Then he might not wake up so early.

Maybe the difference therefore between the houses is what/when he's eating/drinking.

Linning · 27/02/2021 02:44

Buy him a clock and show him the number 7 (or whenever you gauge is an appropriate time to wake up) and tell him, "wake up time is at X time, until you see number X right here on the clock. It’s not wake up time yet, so you need to go back to sleep or play quietly alone until X is on the clock and when it’s X you can come out or I will come get you so we can have breakfast.“

And if he wakes up crying soothe him but let him know it’s still not wake up time yet and he can sleep some more play quietly until it’s time for breakfast.

swishswashswoosh · 27/02/2021 07:47

[quote Bibblybobs]@dotoalll it’s not really peaceful as he then wants a drink, wants a snack, wants YouTube, wants mummy to watch YouTube etc[/quote]
So what he is learning at the moment is if he wakes early enough that he gets to play and watch tv until it's time to get up?

Yup, I'd be waking early too for some extra snuggle play time too. If you want him to stay in bed until 7 then he needs to have consistency that it is still night time until then. So even if he is in bed with you, he is quiet and still or he is taken back to bed, and absolutely no playing/watching anything. He'll get the idea pretty quickly.

Pashazade · 27/02/2021 08:01

My ds is an early riser. 5am on the nose for a long time, there was nothing to be done, I just accepted it. He finally moved to 6am when he got to four and 6 years later he still gets up at 6am on the nail every morning. Sometimes it's easier to just go with it, it's causes you more stress trying to change it, I used to catnap on the sofa if he didn't need my direct input! There may be nothing you can do.

ItsJackieWeaverBitch · 27/02/2021 08:16

I wonder if your son does wake up early at his dad’s and either shouts for his dad who either doesn’t hear him/ignores him or chooses not to shout for daddy because he simply doesn’t want to and shouts for you because you handle it differently/he would rather spend those early mornings with you.

My son has a sleep disorder- he’s often up for the day at 2am. He comes into me and announces this, wants a cuddle or whatever but the times he used to go to his dads he would stay in his own bed for hours on his own because he didn’t want to and was maybe too scared to go find his dad for some company.

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