Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

Reading festival

80 replies

Letmeout21 · 25/02/2021 16:32

15 year old wants to go to reading festival. Almost 16 by the time it comes round. Would you? Have you ever been?
Some points...
*Had a really tough tough time and needs something to look forward to
*suffers with mental health and poor decision making
*Hasnt got many friends so I don’t actually know the 2 friends she’d be going with plus their older cousins that would be over 18 and need to accompany them
*I can’t be sure she won’t drink, she probably will. I’m not convinced she wouldn’t do drive if offered and others were.

As you can tell I’m not keen but she’s begging and using her mental health to bribe me saying how happy it will make her ect.

OP posts:

PugInTheHouse · 25/02/2021 18:46

@Letmeout21 how local to you is it? We have a big local festival, not as big as Reading but 50/60k ish people. I would let my 14/15 yo go for the day on their own as its literally on our doorstep so they know it well and have been going with us since they were 10. Most of the time we are all there and they just go off with friends and we go home together. 11 yo DS also goes off.

I would be more worried if 16/17 when I know they'll definitely be drinking TBH. I wouldn't say no at that age but I'd definitely be more worried based on what I know I was like at that age (actually at 14/15 I wouldn't have trusted myself but DS is way more sensible than me).

Cripesitsthegasman19 · 25/02/2021 18:50

Sorry but knowing what I did at festivals, I think 16 is too young.

Writerandreader · 25/02/2021 18:52

I went to Glastonbury at just 16. And my younger sister was 14!!! No adults! And no mobile phones this was mid 90s.

We both took drugs. It was one of the best weekends of my life.

Honestly 16 year olds used to go out to work they shld be capable of some risk taking.

Re. Drugs. Aim for realistic advice and your child feeling they won't be massively judged if they tell you they have tried them

I am a serious professional now! But in my teens I like many of my friends took lots of drugs it was very normal I don't know about now but I would assume they are going yo experiment and just encourage sensible risk taking.

Racoonworld · 25/02/2021 18:54

Day ticket yes. Weekend ticket absolutely not. I’ve been quite a few times and the day is always fine. The nights however, there’s alcohol and drugs flying around everywhere, it’s complete carnage

Pinkdelight3 · 25/02/2021 18:54

Not overnight is fine. I went for the whole thing at almost 18 and got utterly wasted on the full sex, drugs and rock n roll mix, which was great, but doesn't sound appropriate for your DD. In the day, she can just enjoy the music and stalls then leave before the Dionysian side kicks in.

Thedutchessofhastings · 25/02/2021 18:55

I used to go every year - I would have no problem saying yes to a day ticket at 15 but no way to staying over night for another couple of years.

PosyWella · 25/02/2021 19:00

I wouldn't let mine go at 15. Having to let her go this time at 17 though 😭

FlowEr262 · 25/02/2021 19:02

Dd and friend for the day went when she was 16, dh went too and he said it felt very safe.

This year she is 18 and going for the weekend, younger Dd 17 is going for the day, I’m picking her and friend’s up.

RubyViolet · 25/02/2021 19:10

Day ticket absolutely fine.
I went for the first time at 16 for the weekend, a lot of landmark firsts happened on that trip ! I wouldn’t change it for anything. My Mum would have been furious.
Now who is playing ?
The Vaccines ?
Wuhan Clan
PPE Diddy
Miley Virus
Pfizer Chiefs
Sorry couldn’t help it, just make sure you tell her to have in the back of her mind that there is a small chance it may not happen.

Original poster

Letmeout21 · 25/02/2021 19:13

She hasn’t even asked to stay overnight. She wouldn’t want to. She has quite bad anxiety.
I don’t think she’d do proper drugs she’d be too scared. But weed and stuff I know she’s tried before and she is easily led so I’m really more concerned over who she’d be with.
She’s not into drinking at all, but I expect she would drink and wouldn’t know her limits so I worry she’d get in a state. I can’t really trust her but I do want to be able to let her go.

If she went, I’d probably pick her up an hour before it finishes. We’re in London.

OP posts:

MumofSpud · 25/02/2021 19:15

Are you me? We have just had this from our 15year old DD (Year 10)

Szboox · 25/02/2021 19:17

Can I just ask are 15 year olds allowed in without an adult?

CouldItBeCake · 25/02/2021 19:19

I went at 16 (year 11 though, not year 10) and there were indeed lots of drugs. Only time I’ve ever done them, and like a PP I was also a straight A student, fairly mature and a very well behaved teen. I’d say for a poor decision maker probably no. Also rings alarm bells that the friends may not be good friends or reliable - you need that assurance just in case something does go wrong with drink / drugs imo.

MumofSpud · 25/02/2021 19:19

They have to be accompanied by an 18 + My DD suggested she and her friends would stand at the entrance and ask to go in with people Yes she actually told me that was an idea?!

Szboox · 25/02/2021 19:21

@MumofSpud

They have to be accompanied by an 18 + My DD suggested she and her friends would stand at the entrance and ask to go in with people

Yes she actually told me that was an idea?!

Thanks for this. I can imagine! My 17 year old wants to go with her 15 year ( nearly 16) old friend. Do they ask for id? Or just turn a blind eye?

CouldItBeCake · 25/02/2021 19:21

Sorry just to add: the main drugs in evidence were weed and legal highs (sold absolutely everywhere). Not sure if the situation re legal highs has changed in the intervening nearly 20 years, since there’s more scrutiny of things like that now.

cardibach · 25/02/2021 19:25

If it’s not overnight, maybe. I’d hold out to year 12 for preference though.

Jobsharenightmare · 25/02/2021 19:29

I wouldn't personally let mine go until 18. Like you said she's of the age to make bad decisions and you put something about that in your OP about her specifically.

www.thebritishacademy.ac.uk/blog/researching-sexual-violence-uk-music-festivals/

Then there is the risk of something awful happening to her at 15 that unfortunately is much more likely than if she was in other social settings ie where there are less drugs and alcohol/appropriate for under age people

SleepingStandingUp · 25/02/2021 19:33

Day ticket, yes.
Weekend, no change in hell.

If you're picking up before it finishes, make sure they get to see the headliner else, well they just won't turn up in time

Goawayquickly · 25/02/2021 19:34

My d 16 has a day ticket and parental pickup. I'm nervous tbh, I think it could do her either a lot of good or some really bad. I hope she just has a fun day with minimal alcohol etc. Definitely wouldn't allow a weekend ticket. It's near enough to collect if it goes wrong in any way.

Bmidreams · 25/02/2021 19:36

Day ticket as a compromise?

londonschool · 25/02/2021 19:37

Year 10 and 15 - day ticket only. Overnight no way. My daughter went the year before last aged nearly 17 after GCSEs and was fine. It's a kind of after GCSE thing, no way I would have let her go the year before. She said they didn't ask for ID - was interested as my son wanted to go last year after GCSEs and he's end of August birthday so would have still been 15. Obviously it didn't happen, thankfully. Incidentally my friend's daughter's was with a friend who was sexually assaulted at Wireless festival . 15 is too young.

Eggsley · 25/02/2021 19:39

I went all weekend at 17 with 3 of my school friends of the same age and my then boyfriend who was 20. We drank a lot but none of us took drugs. I was allowed to drink at home from 15 ish so I knew my limits so I got drunk but not wasted. I was generally very sensible and boring, although quite easily led. My friends weren't wild either though

I'd say definitely not over night, maybe for a day if you trust her and the people she's going with.

SmidgenofaPigeon · 25/02/2021 19:41

I went when I was 16 with my cousin who was also only 16. But this was in 2002. The scale was probably a lot smaller. We had a few ciders and a few spliffs but definitely did not get into nor had intention of doing anything heavier than that. I’m not trying to sound wanky when I say I went there for the music- i truly did!! I was a bit of a country bumpkin but street smart enough. I went every year up until I was 21. We hung around in a fairly large group of a few older teenagers, just camped together then hung out and looked out for each other and split off depending on who wanted to see what.

A three day ticket cost £95 back then!

The Sunday, the Prodigy headlined and yeah then it did get more fruity. Loads of no Fred and burning stuff in the main bits and people off their face. It didn’t feel nasty though, not threatening.

Bet they’ve amped the security right up now, maybe it’s even safer then when I went, although I’m sure the scale is bigger. Plus obviously back then all our phones ran out of charge so there was no checking in with parents after the first day or so!

SmidgenofaPigeon · 25/02/2021 19:42

*loads of little fires and burning stuff that’s supposed to say!

Flip

1 2 3 4

Swipe left for the next trending thread