How am i ever going to go out again?

[NotEver0]

My son is 10 and severely autistic with learning disabilities,this lockdown has pushed us all to the brink and has been particularly harsh on me physically and mentally. Im scared as the days are getting nicer once again im going to be cooped up with three kids and unable to leave home as the problem we have is my son wont walk anywhere so we cant leave home even for a small walk or go to a park.
He runs wildly and freely towards traffic and lies on the floor refusing to move,resulting in me trying to lift him which has exacerbated previous back problems. To help you understand, my son is completely non verbal with the mental understanding of a 7 month old. Ive asked all the professionals for help and aside from a wheelchair which he wont entertain they dont have any suggestions. Im really wondering if anyone has any suggestions on how i can encourage him to walk or if theres a buggy big enough which wont cost the earth,he likes a pram.?
I cant leave him with anyone,dont necessarily want to anymore as no one can cope with him so the choice isnt there,my husband is only breadwinner at home and does all he can.
Sorry i know its not a typical AiBU,but in a way it is as am i being unreasonable to want to leave home and do normal walks and stuff with all three of my children?
Pls mumsnet dont move to Special needs chat as barely anyone replies there and i need the support and advice and fresh ideas

Can you get out when he's back at school? What respite care is available?

www.completecareshop.co.uk/paediatric-care/trotter-mobility-chair/trotter-mobility-chair-small

Something lije this?

Would he tolerate a reclining wheelchair, OP? It would be more pram-like than a standard one.

A friend had one for her son, she hired one for a couple of weeks and then managed to get a grant from a charity to buy one.

Do you have a social worker? Could respite care be arranged? I know you said you don't want to leave him with anyone but there will be people trained to deal with his needs?

And YANBU at all, you and your other children shouldn't be confined indoors because of a lack of appropriate equipment.

There's the MacLaren Major buggy, but depending on his size he might be too big for it. Have a look for Special Needs buggies.

My son is 22 and exactly the same. We’ve been in our own lockdown for all this time. We do everything separately, shopping, weekends away the lot so one person is always with our son.

I’ve got no answers really but I would say respite has been a lifesaver. My son started going when he was 14 and we were so excited to take our other two out for dinner. My other kids have never had a proper holiday though. If you have a social worker speak to them. If not phone social services as you’ll need one to access any help. It’s hard the first time but we all got a lot out of it.

For the pram/wheelchair situation www.specialneedspushchairs.co.uk/advance-mobility-freedom/ this fits older children, I know an autistic adult that uses this, so it's big enough and looks a lot more like a pushchair then a wheelchair if that would encourage him?

sorry just checked it's out of stock at the moment, it is quite 3xpensice, but it should last him through any growth spurts as, as i said I know an adult that is transported in one.

The staff in respite and in schools are trained to manage all types of SEN . Never worry that you won’t cope with your dc. They will and they do all the time.

Every parent should have a bit of time away from their child now and again, its healthy for both of you
Speak to his school IEat is correct

You say he runs everywhere so would I be right in assuming his not wanting to walk is a mobility issue?
Would he tolerate having a rucksack which you could attach a lead or reigns or would that cause his distress?
Sorry Op it's the only thing I can think of, but it must be really hard for you, and I hope someone can come along and offer more ideas

look up local charities like mencap and see if they can offer any activities that give you some respite.

Ok, so - if the options from wheelchair services aren’t right for your son, you can get in touch with your local Mencap branch, which should be able to advise you on charities that provide equipment grants. We got one for a specialist car seat from the Newlife Charity. This was really pre-Covid but it was approved very quickly. We had to make a contribution to the cost but the rest was covered.

You could also ask for an assessment from your LA’s equipment OT service - they may have access/funding for options that aren’t covered
by the wheelchair service.

Are you in touch with other local families with disabled children on social media. I’ve found those groups a fantastic source of information and support.

Huge sympathy, OP - we’re in a very similar position and it sucks.

Also - are you accessing Short Breaks for respite through your LA?