I have NC'd for this.
I lost my DH to cancer at the end of last year after months of gruelling treatment. During the last few months of his life, I became aware of aching pain in my legs, nothing too painful, just a dull ache, and some 'knotty' veins in my legs. But obviously it wasn't top of my list of priorities. However, about a month after DH died, I called my GP who asked me to come in and, after physical examination, diagnosed varicose veins and referred me to a vascular surgeon.
I know that the NHS has a huge amount to deal with at present, so I decided to pursue the matter though my medical insurance. I picked one of the consultants on the list which I was offered by my insurers and had an appointment a few weeks ago. The appointment was at a local hospital, where I found the consultant to be very brusque and dismissive of my symptoms. He carried out a cursory examination and then just said the condition was in no way serious, and that my pain patterns were not consistent. He suggested that I should buy some support stockings, and told me that all other treatments were dangerous.
I asked him what he thought the cause of the pain might be, if it were not the veins and enquired whether or not it might be stress related. He said he didn't know what the cause of the pain was and eventually asked why I thought it might be stress related. I am afraid that I then became very tearful and said that he hadn't much of a bedside manner and that I had found the appointment a very negative experience. I explained that it had been triggering for me to go into a hospital, because of losing DH, and filling in forms with my DD as next of kin etc. However, even allowing for all that, I said that I still thought that his manner had been unsympathetic and unhelpful.
At this stage, the consultant seemed to lose interest in my vein problem and suggested I should seek help from my GP. I said that I had not consulted my GP, that the surgery had enough demands on it at present, that I did not want to be prescribed ADs, but that I had arranged some bereavement counselling.
The consultant then said that the hospital weren't carrying out any vein procedures at present, in any event, because of Covid. I fully understand this and I know that I am not a priority in any way and am happy to wait as long as necessary, but I would like a solution, as varicose veins are progressive and will just get worse. However, I was upset that the consultant seemed to be suggesting that I was making it up in relation to the pain, which I really wasn't. I virtually never contact my GP except for routine check ups.
Anyway, I complained to the hospital a couple of days later, as I still felt very upset, and asked for a copy of any report sent to my GP. A short report had already been sent basically saying that I was depressed, that this was my main medical problem, and that the GP ought to be helping me with this. However, as an aside, the report also mentioned that the pain could be caused by statin use, but said the consultant didn't know how long I had been taking the statin (he didn't ask). I have now received a message to call my GP.
When I read the report, I wrote again to the person who was dealing with my complaint, saying that I was concerned that the consultant, although a vascular surgeon, not a psychiatrist, had made a diagnosis of my mental health, which he was not qualified to do, and had shared it with my GP without my consent.
The hospital were very sympathetic to my complaint and I have subsequently received a personal letter of apology from the consultant. It is very 'touchy feely' and says how sorry he is for how he made me feel etc. He also offers to continue acting as my consultant and to discuss treatments when they are available. Alternatively, he offers to recommend other vein experts (I had said I would need to seek a second opinion). However, he has not actually revisited his diagnosis, as such, and has offered no explanation or apology for writing to my GP in the terms he did.
I am sorry that this is a bit long and rambling and I know that it is all very trivial when people face much worse problems, are dying of Covid etc. As I say, I know it is not a priority, but I still feel upset at the situation and I am not sure how to respond. Ideally, I would like to be referred for some proper diagnostic testing, when it is safe to do so. Also, I don't want to be ungracious when the hospital and the consultant have apologised, and part of me thinks I should stay with the same one - maybe he was just having an off day. I am also concerned as to how my insurance will be affected if I go elsewhere. I am just not sure what to do.