To be worried about our bond

[Annabell80]

Well back in hospital second time this year. I'm sad and I'm in pain. I want to go home. I want to be with my husband and children.. At least my older children are pretty self sufficient and understand why I'm in hospital. My 8 month old, less so.
My last baby and I feel like what's the point of having a strong bond if I keep winding up in hospital every two minutes, I was in a few times last year too.
I absolutely adore my baby. I think he loves me too although is a real daddy's boy. It hurts when he lights up for dad after crying at me. I'm working too so it's not like he's just seeing me all the time.
I'm sure my son forgets me when I'm not there. Just want to cry because I know that bond will never come as I'm never there.
Don't expect this makes any sense but devastated to be without my babies again.
Do you think there's any chance of a strong bond? How long will it be before he sees me as unreliable? Will he stop loving me?

I’m sorry you feel so sad. How long have you actually been away from your eight month old?

Only been one night so far this time but itll end up being more. I just can't stop crying.
It's wrong for a baby to be without his mum.

Look, OP, total sympathy, and it’s completely understandable that every fibre of your being is crying out to be with your baby — especially when you’re also unwell — but you’ve only been gone one night. I don’t think it will have the slightest impact on your bond. I wasn’t able to bf my son, and I was hospitalised several times in his first six months of life, and we have a strong bond.