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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Student finance

41 replies

Ihoeihoeihoe · 24/02/2021 16:03

Shamelessly posting for traffic.

Long story short my sister is at university, she and our parents had a falling out over Christmas and she now resides permanently with me when not at university. We’ve only just got round to sorting everything out - change of addresses on everything etc.

She’s just called student finance and they’re saying that they can’t help her because only her parents or a partner can be her ‘sponsor’ (whatever that means) and because she hasn’t been working the last 36 months she can’t be an independent student. Along with that although she is 19, she’d need to fill in an estrange student form and social services will become involved. She’s 19. I’m over 30, my partner is 32 and we have a child of our own. I don’t understand how it’s so hard to just change her addresses, letters etc here and register her as living with us in regards to student finance.

She’ll only be here in holidays as the university is 100+ miles away.

OP posts:

AlexaShutUp · 24/02/2021 16:09

It isn't the address that is the issue, it's how she will be assessed for student finance. Unless she meets the "estranged" criteria (unlikely if she only fell out with your parents at Christmas) then her student finance entitlement will be determined on the basis of your parents' income.

Original poster

Ihoeihoeihoe · 24/02/2021 16:25

She’s not asking for money just informing them of the change of circumstances which is what the student finance website tells you to do.

We read already about all the estranged/independent stuff. We can’t change to estranged either way as there’s no telling whether them not taking is permanent, but her change of address will almost definitely be.

I just think it’s a bit of bollox about all the social worker etc. It’s actually a bit of a crap system if you can only have your parents/ partner as your sponsor really. How many 19 year olds can apply as an independent student if the requirement is supporting yourself for 36 months. I know a few kids myself who live with grandparents etc, seems a lot of extra hard work because some parents aren’t able to care for their children.

Thanks for the reply though, it’s appreciated.

OP posts:

AlexaShutUp · 24/02/2021 16:27

She’s not asking for money just informing them of the change of circumstances which is what the student finance website tells you to do.

Will she not be applying for student finance next year? How will she support herself without a maintenance loan?

Original poster

Ihoeihoeihoe · 24/02/2021 16:30

Our parents will still submit the forms for her as they’ll have to. As she doesn’t fit any other criteria. If it were up to her she’d take them off but again, as she doesn’t fit any other criteria she’d have no means of paying since they won’t accept me as a sponsor

OP posts:

Original poster

Ihoeihoeihoe · 24/02/2021 16:31

Sorry it should of said ‘more money’.

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AlexaShutUp · 24/02/2021 16:34

The point is that (depending on income) parents are expected to provide financial support for their dependent children. It would not be fair for the same expectation to be applied to you and your dh, just because your sibling happens to be living with you.

I do agree that it's a crap system, though. It can be very difficult for estranged students to prove that they are estranged, and those who have limited contact but a terrible relationship with their parents don't meet the criteria. And of course, there is no way of making parents actually pay the parental contribution even when the maintenance loan is assessed on the basis of their income. It isn't a system that works well at all, unfortunately.

Wtfdoipick · 24/02/2021 16:37

@Ihoeihoeihoe

Problem is they don't have to. Student finance are trying to pre-empt a situation later this year when your sister finds herself with no money

TeeBee · 24/02/2021 16:46

So are they suggesting she cannot complete her course?

Original poster

Ihoeihoeihoe · 24/02/2021 16:47

@Wtfdoipick but what is the situation? She doesn’t want to leave university she’s only in her first year. She can’t apply to be estranged and isn’t considered independent. So her only choice would be to pack it in? That sounds like an absolutely terrible system to me. I think they’ll still fill out the forms through me next year, and hopefully be on talking terms but her housing will most likely still be with me.

It’s not anyone’s fault really but I think as an overall system they’ve made it difficult for anyone who doesn’t live in a traditional home setting or have compliment parents.

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Original poster

Ihoeihoeihoe · 24/02/2021 16:51

@TeeBee I’ve got no idea. I mean realistically if that was the case she’d have to suck it up and try to speak to our parents herself. I can’t see how they can decide that for her now anyway, she’s ‘paid’ for this year, the forms are in. Surely she’s got until at least the next lot of forms are due in to make any decisions with them.

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Wtfdoipick · 24/02/2021 16:55

But you obviously have given them more information than just the change of address or they wouldn't be aware. Your parents are the ones deemed financially responsible for their student daughter and of course that can't be changed on a whim and needs to be done officially which means it needs to be assessed properly and in this instance would be by social services.

TeeBee · 24/02/2021 16:58

Are you able to talk to your parents and try to discuss whether they will be financially supporting her until the end of her course? Would it then just be a case of redirecting mail to yours?

CupcakesK · 24/02/2021 17:02

Can she contact either her student union or the school welfare contact? They will have seen this happen many a time and can advise on the practicalities. I hope you get it sorted

Original poster

Ihoeihoeihoe · 24/02/2021 17:11

@Wtfdoipick as I’ve already said we’re not asking for anything more than she’s already getting financially. We told them there needs to be a change of address as she’ll now be living with me, when we were asked why we cited a family fall out. No 19 year old who has a generally stable home, had a fall out and moved in with their sister needs social services involved.

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Original poster

Ihoeihoeihoe · 24/02/2021 17:13

@TeeBee this was what I was assuming it would be all along! I can’t see my parents not filing in the forms at least, they’re not monsters. My partner and I can help with other bits and she does have a job when she’s in this city during the holidays. She’s sensible with money so can’t see it ever being an issue.

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LilMidge01 · 24/02/2021 17:13

Surely you can understand though that they need these strict measures in place otherwise all students with well-off parents would claim to be independent or estranged or living away from home in order to lower the household income and therefore get more money.

I know that's not what your sister is doing, but they have to be stringent otherwise people could take advantage of the system.

I'm not clear on your sister's situation though- are your parents still intending to contribute/have their income assessed for her student finance next year or are they cutting her off?

Original poster

Ihoeihoeihoe · 24/02/2021 17:14

@CupcakesK thanks for the advice. I’ll get her to contact her student union. I think we thought it would just be a simple change of address and that would be it considering we weren’t technically applying for a change of sponsor

OP posts:

LilMidge01 · 24/02/2021 17:15

If nothing is changing financially and you literally just want the letters to come to your house, can your parents not just forward them on? Can she not manage her account online? does she even need letters?

SimonJT · 24/02/2021 17:15

I was estranged at university, I just had to provide a written and signed statement confirming this, that was in 2007.

The university will know the current requirements.

TeeBee · 24/02/2021 17:17

[quote Ihoeihoeihoe]@TeeBee this was what I was assuming it would be all along! I can’t see my parents not filing in the forms at least, they’re not monsters. My partner and I can help with other bits and she does have a job when she’s in this city during the holidays. She’s sensible with money so can’t see it ever being an issue.[/quote]
If your parents are planning to continue to pay, I'd tell the university its all been resolved and just do a Royal Mail redirect of mail from your parents house to yours for all of her mail.

TeeBee · 24/02/2021 17:18

How bad is the fall out? Is it likely they will not financially support her?

Original poster

Ihoeihoeihoe · 24/02/2021 17:18

@LilMidge01

I absolutely can understand that there would need to be strict measures in place to you living with any tom, dick or Harry. I didn’t live at home either when I was at university but it wasn’t due to a family fall out, I’d just moved in with my boyfriends and his parents but that was before I attended - during, not changing in the middle of the year.

No idea currently on the parent front. I can’t see them cutting her off to the degree of not filing out the forms, everything after that we’ll manage which is why I was so surprised all this has come about over it.

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minniemoocher · 24/02/2021 17:22

Is she getting the full loan or minimum? Are your parents still willing to top up any shortfall? If she's getting the full loan and your parents are willing to complete the forms then simply put them down as last year, 99% is online these days, I think the only letters were confirmation so she doesn't need to be "at home" . If your parents are currently topping the loan up then if they are willing to continue then again no issue. The only scenario where she would need to establish estrangement is if they aren't willing to complete the finance forms nor top up. I didn't have to complete anything for dd because they only get the minimum and their dad pays the money to them for instance.

Original poster

Ihoeihoeihoe · 24/02/2021 17:28

@minniemoocher

She gets somewhere in between minimum and middle I think. Yeah, I think the estrangement is too far anyway, who’s to say they won’t talk again at some point and then she’d have to inform them of that I assume. Not a route I want to go down.

Thank you everybody for the advice. I think I’ll get her to talk to student union and have a chat with my parents over the weekend. I can’t see them filing out the forms being an issue either way. All the helpful advice is massively appreciated.

OP posts:

nokidshere · 24/02/2021 18:26

I don't really understand why a change of address should cause any further problems. My two changed their address to uni in the first year, changed it back to ours in the summer and then changed it to their new accommodation when they got new houses for year 2.

Where they live has no bearing on the financial side. The options are studying and living with parents, or studying and living away from home. She will be studying and living away from home unless she is living with you all year round.

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