To ask how the hell you keep your house clean?

[NeilArmstrongWalkinOnMeFace]

Really struggling here. Two DS-2.5years and 3 months. DH and I have never been tidy people and it's just got worse and worse. It's starting to affect my MH as I just never feel on top of the house and it's always a mess. Pre kids I was super organised ( not tidy though!) but now I can barely think straight. DH less so.

Have tried TOMM and thought it was great but don't seem to have any time now with a clingy baby and demanding toddler.

Please tell me how you keep on top of the jobs and how you keep organised.

Any hacks? How do I change the way my brain works?

A simple tip someone gave me when I was pregnant is never leave a room empty handed. There is always something you can take with you to put back in its proper home/bin etc so it helps to keep things a bit tidier with mininal additional effort

I struggle with cleaning. Always have. I always keep the kitchen and bathrooms clean, make the beds, and there is no junk anywhere. But the rest is just never ending.
I think I'm doing well, then I'll sit down and notice marks all up the doors, or windows, or dusty skirting boards. Our house seems to get dusty very quickly. We've got quite a lot of rooms and it's a never ending xuxlet. My husband wants us to move to a bigger place. My plan when the kids leave home is a one bedroom apartment!! The less rooms to clean the better!

I used to look at tidy houses and wonder where all their stuff was. The answer is they don't have the same amount of stuff we do. So I declutter.

What's your main issue with the house? Is it messy or dirty? Is it that you can't get in to cook because the kitchen is all piled up with dirty dishes, or that you're always running out of clean clothes because you have nowhere to dry laundry?

Work out what your top bugbears are and concentrate on those. TOMM lite, if you like.

With small children in the house your time isn't your own and you might decide to change what you can and accept what you can't. You're already doing such a lot for the small people.

I agree with whoever said..
Kitchen and Bathroom should be prioritised.
Nothing is in my kitchen apart from 'kitchen things' as it's small so I cleared all cupboards, got rid of old cups, plates, pans that were never used etc.
I have one bottom drawer in there for things like batteries, screwdrivers, lightbulbs and general stuff.
I keep all work tops clear and clean (easy to wipe over in between)
Dishes are done quickly after every meal.

Bathroom is always clear of clothes, excess towels, and is rinsed/wiped round after use and window opened to let some air in.

Because of decluttering I can tidy both in 10 minutes.

Living Room we have no storage cupboards so I decluttered small boiler cupboards and have a shoe box in there and small shelf for coats. Best thing I did was buy two ottoman style toy boxes and most toys fit in those at end of the day/before we go out (I hate coming home to mess)

I have one rule and that is no cups, plates, rubbish, clothes/towels are left in floors/in bedrooms (this is mainly for benefit of pre teen son) and DH who brings water in glasses to bed (but never took them down) so I left them under his side of the bed until he had no glasses left ha ha I only did it once.

I’m very tidy everything has its place, it’s SO much easier to keep your house clean if it’s tidy! You can quickly wipe down and clean areas if there’s no ‘stuff’ to move out of the way before you can clean it. Obviously you will have toys on the floor with little that’s normal but sides in the kitchen etc and lounge furniture keep as clear of stuff as you can is my advice. The best tip I can give is get a cleaner 😬 we moved from a small 3 bed semi to a large 4 bed detached and I got a cleaner as it’s too much to do keeping as clean as I like with 2 boys under 5 and my own small business to run with a DH who works long hours! She comes once a week for 2 hours and she blitzes through the time consuming stuff like cleaning bathrooms and dusting all window cills and skirting boards and cleaning windows and also hoovers whole house and steam mops the tiles. She’s super fast and efficient though she moves at warp speed! Means all I need to do daily is keep on top of the kitchen and sweep and mop the downstairs once or twice a week.I never clean my own bathrooms as once a week having a good clean is enough. When we had the smaller house 2 hours every other week was enough as I could keep on top of stuff myself weekly. If you can’t stretch to a cleaner then get your DH or someone to take the kids out for an hour once or twice a week and blitz through the most urgent then I suggest . I literally prioritise having my cleaner over spending money on myself I do sacrifice things for me to have her as it makes my life so much easier and nicer.

My system is to deal with things in order of urgency.

1. Bodily fluids/sanitation. Clean the bog, wipe the sink, clean up any sick, dispose of nappies, wipes and Sanpro promptly, wash any clothes With any bodily fluids on.

1. Anything relating to food. Start with the actual rubbish and any food or drink spills (spilt milk needs dealt with particularly urgently). Quick wipe down in kitchen, of high chair/table. Not a deep clean, just to get true worst food debris off and make useable (perfectionism is not your friend here). Stack the dishes or put in the dish washer. If they have built up don't do them all at once, but try to do a small amount of dishes at each meal time. When I bottle fed I would have a separate washing up bowl for the bottles, which needed done ahead of everything so they could go in the steriliser. Take out the bin regularly, dispose of any off food. Do any laundry contaminated by food or milk (as this will go mouldy very quickly).

1. Dust/dirt. Once you know that nothing is going mouldy and there are no bodily fluids, food debris or anything like that, then you can prioritise the rest with less urgency. Try to tackle things as you see them. Hoover anything that is hoover able. Have some cloths and spray or wipes at hand for a quick clean of anything you notice that's particularly dirty or dusty.

Also always have something in the washing machine. With little kids there is always at least a half load of soiled and food covered clothes to wash at the very least. But don't worry about folding it properly or putting it away. Don't even contemplate ironing (unless it's a special occasion).

I always found that food and laundry take up a big chunk of time and thinking so get those two things into a system and you’ll find yourself with more time. Make sure your dh knows the system so he can pick it up too.
Laundry - do a load every day if you need to. I do 4 a week and it works.
Wash in the morning, dry and put away on the day or by the next morning.

Food - get meals organised. Find easy meal ideas that can be cooked in the oven or thrown into a pot in one dish. Less cleaning and effort.
Shop for planned meals.

After that, the next two priorities are making sure the kitchen and living room are cleaned every night. That way you’re not playing catch up the next day and it’s easy to keep on top of it. It doesn’t take too long if it’s daily and you and dh both put the effort in. Play some music and get it done. I find it quite therapeutic now

Bathrooms and bedrooms once a week.

Every couple of months do a huge clear out. Have plenty of storage boxes. I do the Organised Mum Method, It's 45 minutes a day & it keeps you on top of everything.

Another vote for decluttering. Try the Marie Kondo book for help to get you started

For cleaning, I'd suggest little and often. And get your kids involved

Divide your toddlers toys, and put half of them away. Swop them every week, and the toddler will be occupied with toys that seem new. Give yourself a time limit of half an hour and spend that time cleaning /tidying. It's amazing how much you can achieve in that time. I find that headphones and listening to a podcast means I do cleaning without realising how much I'm doing, though maybe you need to be more aware than I do...I don't have babies.
You can also divide your half hour if you need to. Ten minutes every day cleaning in the kitchen or bathroom will make a big difference. And have a reward afterwards, sit down with a drink and relax with the children.

The organised mum method:

Every single day:

~Clean bathroom (I do the loos, sinks and bath/skirtings everyday and then work my way around things like the shower head, shower screen etc etc during the week)

~hoover main living areas / mop high traffic areas

• make the beds

• put on a load of laundry

Then every focus on another area in addition to that. Today for example is bedrooms for me - tidy around, hoover, dust if needed. Tomorrow may be proper clean of the kitchen - under appliances, inside microwave, empty crumb tray of the toaster, descale the letter

Like this

I don't always. There are many more important things than a spotless home.

I’d give yourself a bit of a break with a 2 under 3 and one still tiny!

Things I do to keep on top of things -

1. wash up in morning and after dinner

2. wipe down kitchen worktops daily

3. a kallax unit with boxes is my fave - doesn’t look too pretty but everything gets chucked in its box at the end of the day

4. I wipe over the bathroom when DS is in the bath. Whoever showers last in the morning sprays the shower down and puts some duck down the loo

5. put a load of washing on every morning without fail - I end up with a colossal mountain of washing otherwise and can’t get through it.

6. Chuck the hoover round once a morning

I do a quick 20 min freshen up each morning inc chucking the hoover round downstairs.

I do instruct DH on what I need him to do, so he does his share too. I found if I “asked” he’d put it off for forever, so I tell him now when I want something done by 🙈

I also ask for help when I need it. I get DM and DMIL to do a load of washing when needed, and we’re in a bubble with DM, so sometimes ask her to come and give me a hand also (especially cleaning the oven as I HATE that job)

I have a DS who is 3, and am 33 weeks pregnant. When baby is here I know the house is going to go to shit for a while, and that’s ok.

Call in family to give you a hand if you can, or if you can afford a cleaner to help you get on top of everything, then it’s just a little bit every day to keep on top of things, and a big clean every so often

It is hard but doable. I also have 2 DS, they are 3.5 and 2. I think you need to have realistic expectations but the more you can make being tidy a habit the easier it will be.

Everything needs a home, so invest in decent storage. I've got to kallax units for big toys, two of smaller toy organisers with the fabric boxes for smaller toys, a bookcase and a chest of drawers for puzzles. All the puzzle boxes have elastic bands around them so the youngest one can't just pull the boxes open and tip the pieces all over the floor. Tidy the toys up every evening when kids in bed (even though it seems pointless as they'll pull it all out the next day). I'm trying to teach mine to put toys away - work in progress!

I bought a Robovac last year which is great. I just brush all of the crumbs and dirt onto the floor and set him off. Really handy as you can set it goo when you're doing other jobs/bathing kids/going out and it's all done when you're back.

I've also got a VAX carpet and upholstery cleaner which is great for doing the sofas.

We decorated our old house in wipeable paint. We moved recently but I plan to do the same here.

I don't mind a mess but I like to clear it up, if that makes sense. I'm not precious about anything and often have a houseful of kids for play dates (pre-Covid) etc. We live rurally so it's all wellies and dogs, the kids are in and out all day long. However, like you it gets me down when the house is really untidy or dirty for very long so I've just made it as easy as possible to clean up afterwards.

Oh two more things that helped me MASSIVELY

1. toy rotation - DS had a ton of toys and would play with something a few minutes, loose interest, get something else out etc. I read about toy rotations so tried it. I have a big plastic storage box in the shed with toys in, then he has toys out to play with, then some in his bedroom (he rarely plays in there). Every 8-10 weeks or so, I remove a few toys he isn’t playing with so much, and swap them out for other stuff. It also really helped his concentration and he plays with stuff much longer now.

2. a white/dark/colours basket - game. changer. Even DH can’t balls it up 😁

It’s tough! I made TOMM method work well when I had my DD, but now I’ve got 3 month old twins it’s pretty much impossible. When life is an endless cycle of feeding/nappies/bathtime etc you just can’t keep your house tidy.

Do what NEEDS to be done, and let everything else slide for now. This isn’t your first child, so you know they get better at entertaining themselves for a bit at 6 months or so, and then you can get on top of a few more things. Stay on top of washing up and clothes washing and most other things can wait.

Do you have any family to help? My parents are our childcare bubble. My dad will take the boys for a nap in the pram and my mum will read stories to my Dd so that I can give the kitchen a proper tidy or out away the clean washing.

Best advice I ever saw about this topic;

Fuck the housework, let’s dance !

If you feel you must do dastardly cleaning, you could take the advice of mumsnetters on this thread and focus on lessening your load by filling a bag a day with clutter and throwing it out or giving it away.
If it helps, Put your favourite music on and dance while decluttering

Seriously, please don’t feel too pressured with cleaning just now while your children are so tiny, keep your focus on the amazing ( and exhausting) job you are already doing with your precious young children

My house is far from perfect. But it’s a kid friendly home, and my kids friends feel welcome here.

I often felt this way when my children were young (5 roughly 2/3 yrs apart). I totally get it. How you manage in lockdown is a mystery to me. So, one dayI just had to take stock and find a way to deal with the anxiety the mess was causing me. I had to accept that I was expecting the impossible and that the only way I could have a tidy house was if I just stopped looking after the children. I was never going to do that so I had to tweak my current regimes to make them liveable-with. Here are some tweaks you might make: -don't tidy away their toys at bedtime/before going out etc (they'll only take them back out when they wake up/come back. -feel good about the little things eg a rack of clean washing up or a freshly vacuumed floor (even if just one room) -keep a large cardboard box handy to chuck stuff in and take to the hallway/upstairs out of sight and to bring stuff from upstairs. -hide a few toys away for a week so they are novelties again when you bring them back out. -don't feel guilty popping baby in a the high chair in front of the TV while you do a chore/have some quiet time for yourself. Your wellbeing is crucial to your children's. -ask your older child to help with simple tasks. Even if they only dust the same spot for 20 minutes or drop the sheets on the way to the cupboard they'll feel useful and they'll learn. -remind yourself that this is temporary and one day you can have the house as tidy as you want. -they'd rather see their mum smile than see the room tidy!

Sorry to say this as it's probably not what you want to hear. But isn't it all about survival at this stage? When you've got pre-schoolers it just comes down to keeping on top of the washing up and the bed linen/clothes washing. As for tidying and cleaning - that might have to wait. You may be able to do bits here and here but for a limited time only you forgo your right to a nice, spotlessly clean house!!! So it's about managing your own expectations as well.

I have a toddler (2 yrs 3 months to be exact) and he is a professional house-wrecker. He pulls toy-boxes out of the unit, tips them up, throws things down the stairs, throws paper/crayons around, pulls towels down in the bathroom, pulls up the rugs, goes into the shoe-cupboard & gets everything out. Drinks have to be closely monitored because if he gets his paws on a mug or a tumbler of water he'll tip it up. He throws food around, then stands on it and squishes it into the carpet.

His brother (6yrs old) cannot resist jumping on newly-made beds. Particularly mine. They throw all the covers off, bounce around until the sheets are all fucked and then wack each other with pillows. I make the bed when they're both asleep.

Survival.

My bathroom hacks are: Bleach block in the toilet cistern, wipe the dust off the toilet with a piece of dry toilet paper, quick spriitz of antibac spray and just leave it. Get kids to clean teeth while in the bath to avoid toothpaste everywhere. Use the dirty hand towel to dust skirting boards before chucking in wash. Put fresh towels out and voila. Also high up storage so kids can’t pull everything out all the time

Do things straight away.

Two toys out at a time only and if another is wanted one gets put away.
Unload dishwasher/unload washing machine and hang and put away what was hung the previous day
Cook lunch - stuff in dishwasher and wipe down immediately
Squirt of bleach in bogs - quick wife of basins once a day.

And a cleaner - a tidy house needs 2.5 hours per 1000 sq foot imo.

I clean the bathroom while I'm in there- usually after a shower or even after having a wee. Even if it's just a quick wipe of the basin or cleaning the shower door.

I clean the kitchen while the kettle boils, while something's cooking or while I'm waiting for toast to pop. 30 seconds here and there to put things away, load the dishwasher, wipe the worktops etc.

Keep your things as tidy as possible, the kids things will never be tidy but the toddler can help tidy up (try to get them in on your cleaning routine too- give them small jobs like wiping the table with a safe cloth or sweeping the floor)

Can you afford a cleaner? I had 2 kids under 2 and my god I would not have coped without my cleaner. She's a godsend.

Yep. TOMM doesn't work for me - DS is 2.5 and doesn't nap. When he's at nursery, I'm at work part time, and on my days at home the time between DH finishing and DS's bedtime is food, bath, bedtime stories etc. Maybe when he can be left with the TV it'll be easier but for now we just run the dishwasher and washing machine regularly, clean bathrooms once a fortnight with wipes between and shove the hoover round once per weekend.