Stick with terrible workplace for the mat leave?

[Downthisroad]

Hi!

New member, long time lurker. Interested to get some perspectives on this. I originally posted this under another topic but didn't get any replies.

I work for a company where I am finding the role incredibly stressful, high targets, high workload. The usual. I'll call the company "CC" (current company). I'm unsure whether the stress is exacerbated by lockdown but either way, the job isn't going to get easier.

Me and DP are considering trying for a baby in the next few months, CC has great mat leave, 6 months at full pay. Pretty much my only reason for sticking it out at the moment as this job is doing a number on my mental health.

I have been considering applying to another company (new company, NC), I have a friend in that company and it sounds like a nicer place to work, I would probably also be able to get a pay increase too. Only sticking point is that NC would only offer enhanced mat leave after 2 years, the enhanced pay is not as good but certainly not bad. This would mean delaying TTC for around 18 months + to get enhanced mat pay.

I'm 30 y/o and the main earner. No DC. DP is relatively well paid but I think we would struggle on his salary and SMP. We would like 1, maybe 2 DC and we have no known medical conditions that may affect fertility. At this point we both feel as ready and can be for DC, but still terrified!

So tell me, wise women of MN, WWYD? Stick with CC (YABU), take the mat pay and then change jobs or move to NC and wait it out (YANBU)?

If you got this far - thank you!

Would the new opportunity be available after mat leave? Personally I would stay, have a baby then switch company

What I would say is if you hate it that much and you move, you have plenty of time to save so that when you do go on mat leave you have a bit to see you through. You would likely find out about pregnancy at about 4 or 5 weeks and you can take maternity any time after 29 weeks. If your pregnancy is low risk you could viably keep going in work until 36 or 37 weeks, or save up annual leave so you have a good four or five weeks of full pay before mat leave starts.

Thank you for your replies! I In the industry I work in there's more candidates than jobs so I feel confident the job at NC isn't a one off opportunity.

** more jobs than candidates even!

I would move, put some time into the new position, see if you can get a pay rise, save up, and TTC in a year or so. Security in a career after children come along should be a very high priority,.imo.

As well as ring fencing your mental health, I should have added. How would you cope with the stresses of pregnancy on top of this job? Something to consider.

Get pregnant and then go off sick - as long as nat related no disciplinary and no stress. If mat pay good is sick pay? You could realistically take full preg off sick a years may then go somewhere else. I’d just stick it out for a few months x

I'd stick around, fleece them for mat leave and then leave ASAP after (you might need to return there for a bit to avoid paying back your enhanced mat pay).

What's the monetary difference if you stay where you are + get 6 months full pay vs getting pregnant e.g. 3 months after starting at the new company then getting pregnant in month 3?

I would list in excel the costs including the 9 months of pay at a higher rate then base my decision on that. The difference might be smaller than you think

With the enhanced maternity pay at CC, do you have to repay anything if you don't return after mat leave? A lot times that's built into the benefit offering.

I just had this conundrum and decided it wasn't worth being somewhere I hate and is making me miserable - as it wouldn't just be now till maternity leave starts. It would be that plus 12months after the end of mat leave.

Instead, I will put the amount of the pay increase at my new job into savings and use that to supplement SMP.

Do you have any savings? I'd probably move, go for higher pay, and save up while waiting.
Do you know if you have to go back to work for a set Mojnt of time after ML? Some employers say you have to go back or repay the MP, you might not be willing to go back after you have a baby.

Are there strings attached to cc maternity scheme, ie. you have to return for a minimum period or pay back anything over smp. If you find the job stressful now, imagine trying to cope with a baby as well. If you planned to leave afterwards would having to pay it back or the extra money and stress be worth it. Alternatively move and either wait or have a baby on smp then use the enhanced if you had another.

The other thing to consider is what happens after you return to work.

Would you want to return to CC after mat leave? Or would you want to get a new job straight away?

You might find that the first few months after returning to work might be fairly difficult/require you to take time off at short notice because of the little one picking up various infections as they settle in to nursery. So you might like to be settled in a job that you are already comfortable in order to be able to do (eg changing to NC now so you would have already been settled there for 2 years by the time you have mat leave rather than be in a new job) or alternatively a job you are happy to take the piss in for a bit (e.g. if you return to CC). It might be more difficult in a brand new job.

Also you may want to consider timing for a second baby if you want one. Eg if you stay in CC and then want to leave after mat leave, will you have time to find a new job, settle in, then take mat leave at new job after a certain period for second mat leave (if you wait for enhanced maternity leave this could mean a few years between babies). Eg depending on these considerations it could be easier finding and settling into a more permanent job with the confidence/knowledge that you will be able to return to that job once, maybe twice without further timing considerations

Have you considered that enhanced mat pay normally needs to be paid back if you don’t return or leave within say 12-18months after returning?

Thanks again everyone, lots to consider. Weighing the soft, fluffy considerations against the cold hard cash (and wanting ovaries!) is difficult.

I checked my contract, there's no clawback as far as I can see. I will also check the employee handbook but last time I looked I didn't see anything. The difference between SMP and 6 months enhanced is about £23K, I too love a spreadsheet! It's difficult to say how much more NC might pay but I daresay it would take a while to save the difference. I have other savings, a respectable amount but not huge.

@CoffeeCheeseandCupcakes, I knew I couldn't be the only one who had this issue! I hope it's worked out for you at the new place

So many considerations and I don’t think there is a right answer, especially if there’s no clawback (loads of places don’t have clawback, my employer doesn’t).

In your situation I would probably stay put for the mat pay, but I do have to echo what @radbadger
said. I found the first 3-6 months back at work extremely tough for many reasons, but primarily because my son picked up so many viruses at nursery in those first few months. I really wouldn’t have wanted to be in a new job where I was desperate to impress during that stage. (That said, I wouldn’t have wanted to return to a job where I was really unhappy either!)

Hi

I thought I would update on this thread. When I started it I wasn't in a good place, a month later I was off work with stress and anxiety and starting on medication.

Before I went on leave I put my CV into NC and a few months later a position became available. I got the offer, accepted it and have informed my boss of my decision to leave.

My boss is being resistant to me leaving, while he has been great since my time off I feel a duty of care was neglected before that time as I had made it obvious I was struggling. I can't get away from that fact so will be standing fast in my decision.

If you're struggling with mental illness please speak to someone. Please also get an appointment with the doctor and ask for help. I'm not a professional, but in my experience talking has helped so much.

I'm now in a much better place and making a conscious effort to work on my mental health, understand it and place myself in better stead should anything every begin to slip again. It's hard, change is hard and it takes a lot of effort, but I'm hoping it'll be worth it.

Thanks for the update OP. Glad things are more positive and working out for you. 🌹