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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my 5 year old shouldn't have to wear a face mask in school?

166 replies

Jumpers268 · 23/02/2021 15:35

Head teacher has stated all children at my son's primary school need to wear face masks when arriving & leaving school and going around the school building (toilet, library etc).

I'm not anti masks or anything but I posted the other day about my son being a compulsive chewer of his tops (fixed, touch wood, by getting chewelry) and I just can't see him keeping a mask on, not continuously touching it or not chewing it (which surely defeats the whole point in wearing one Confused). The exemption list on the gov website states children under 11 so does that mean his school have to let him in without a mask?

Anyhoo... If you think I'm being unreasonable do you have any tips? Pack 500 masks in his book bag?

Thank you 😊😊.

OP posts:
Original poster
Jumpers268 · 23/02/2021 20:11

@Doimatter I haven't yet spoken to the school. I'd spoken to his teacher a few days ago about the Lego necklaces. The head posted a message this morning to all parents saying "all children need to wear masks in school". I knew quite a few parents would be bombarding the school today and I didn't want to put any extra strain on them as yet, which is why I posted here first.

This is all very new to me. He was referred for ASD when he was just over 2 and was seen by a paediatrician who watched him play and asked him to draw a face and stuff and said he ticked a few boxes but socially he was good. He was then seen in nursery 4 times for an hour at a time (from a distance) and they said he had quite focused play but they didn't have concerns and signed him off. I should add, he's an only child so I have no point of reference. He does have "quirks" - watched a documentary this morning about the politics in Greece for example. And his eating has always been horrific, but he's a healthy weight and does eat just a limited diet (mainly has an issue with textures) and I have to continuously remind him to eat (bribe sometimes too). If I didn't, he could go for days without eating and without complaining. I spoke the the GP about a year ago and they just said he's a healthy weight and said some children are fussy.

I posted about his chewing the other day and a few people mentioned ASD and SPD and I contacted the paediatrician he'd previously been seen by. Spoke to her secretary and he's been re-referred. They've emailed a questionnaire for school to complete but that was only sent yesterday.

Sorry if I'm sounding really silly with all of this but it's really new to me. I've just been plodding along. Until the chewing really intensified that is.

OP posts:
BillieSpain · 23/02/2021 20:12

I think this was not a topic for AIBU.

Original poster
Jumpers268 · 23/02/2021 20:13

Sorry ridiculously long, unintentionally so, comment!! Haha.

@Casschops thank you so much. I had a little tear up when I read the comment earlier as I felt like this is in some way my fault but mostly people have been lovely and supportive Flowers.

OP posts:
Original poster
Jumpers268 · 23/02/2021 20:15

@BillieSpain I'm sorry. I thought it would be a good place to post it considering some of the other AIBU posts. And I really did want to know if I was being AIBU. Plus I've had some incredibly helpful comments! So so helpful. But I hope my post hasn't put a dent into your day!

OP posts:
MrBullinaChinaShop · 23/02/2021 20:16

@BillieSpain

I think this was not a topic for AIBU.
Why?
MrBullinaChinaShop · 23/02/2021 20:17

By the way my family live in Spain and they absolutely do have legal exemptions for mask wearing.

junebirthdaygirl · 23/02/2021 20:20

Haven't read everything but would not like to be the teachers who have to supervise DC taking on and off masks as go in and out. They will get nothing done. There is always someone going to the bathroom/ support teacher etc and remembering to check they have their mask on as well as teaching children who are just coming off lockdown. As a teacher l am glad no 5 year olds in lreland are wearing masks( yet!!)

aquamarine1 · 23/02/2021 20:26

Who said Scottish kids wear masks at school? Have never seen any child in our primary with a mask on.

InSpaceNooneCanHearYouScream · 23/02/2021 20:28

@BillieSpain

I think this was not a topic for AIBU.
Get stuffed. Who are you,the thread police? And I really wish people would STOP piping up 'ALL the children in OUR school wear masks! NO EXEMPTIONS!!'

That is complete and utter bollocks,as verified by all the much more sensible posters. Of course there will be medical exemptions. To say otherwise would be utter discrimination.

RosyPrimroseDoll · 23/02/2021 20:32

FYI sensory processing disorder is not at this point in time, a recognised disorder. The evidence for the efficacy of any sensory integration therapy is shaky at best, and seems more a way of entertaining/engaging children than actually enabling them to gain skills or tolerate the world.

mathanxiety · 23/02/2021 20:33

YABU.

Children are doing it in other countries

Could you modify the sensory necklace so he could chew it under the mask?

MrBullinaChinaShop · 23/02/2021 20:34

@mathanxiety

YABU.

Children are doing it in other countries

Could you modify the sensory necklace so he could chew it under the mask?

All children with the exact same issue that the OP’s child has are doing fine, are they?
mathanxiety · 23/02/2021 20:37

Or could you attach his necklace (or necklaces) to the inside of his mask(s)?

RosyPrimroseDoll · 23/02/2021 20:38

@mathanxiety

Or could you attach his necklace (or necklaces) to the inside of his mask(s)?
I think the school would consider that a potential choking risk possibly?
Theunamedcat · 23/02/2021 20:38

My son is a chewer of fabric he has masks that are not made of his preferred fabric they are made of something he hates to chew if you see what I mean? However when he needs to bite on his fabric he gets stressed and Ansty and will stuff his fabric under his mask to bite it he is 8

Original poster
Jumpers268 · 23/02/2021 20:43

@RosyPrimroseDoll how would you recommend he gain skills to tolerate the world? Also, how would you recommend he deal with his texture issues re food? And I mean he will throw up from watching me eat mash potato. Not meaning that confrontational, genuinely asking.

OP posts:
SinkGirl · 23/02/2021 20:45

@RosyPrimroseDoll

FYI sensory processing disorder is not at this point in time, a recognised disorder. The evidence for the efficacy of any sensory integration therapy is shaky at best, and seems more a way of entertaining/engaging children than actually enabling them to gain skills or tolerate the world.
You mean it’s not recognised independently of autism yet in the U.K.

A bit like PDA - does that also not exist?

The NHS has no intention of ever providing adequate OT support to children with sensory difficulties - they would never afford to do it. Of course there’s not the inclination to diagnose an issue they are unable to manage or treat.

SPD not being recognised is a far cry from it not existing. And if any therapy at all can help my children to engage with things rather than chew and spin and run around, I’ll take it.

RosyPrimroseDoll · 23/02/2021 20:45

I would consult a qualified behaviour specialist who specialises in food related avoidance behaviour and have a full behavioural assessment and intervention program to work through with them.

RosyPrimroseDoll · 23/02/2021 20:49

@SinkGirl it's not recognised by the DSM 5 and is recognised in the DC0-3R but that's for children and infants under 3.
I would prefer my child learnt socially valid and functionally equivalent skills, or had a time and space set aside where they could spin/rock/flap that didn't interfere with their learning.

Original poster
Jumpers268 · 23/02/2021 20:49

Sorry that comment jumped out at me for likely reasons.

@InSpaceNooneCanHearYouScream thank you again. @junebirthdaygirl so nice to hear that from a teacher; I did think today what a mare for teachers. @Theunamedcat thank you! Comforting to see the children with similar issues coping okay with masks at school!

OP posts:
Original poster
Jumpers268 · 23/02/2021 20:56

I'm so confused by all of this @RosyPrimroseDoll is SPD linked to ASD as it seems odd that the paediatrician has re-referred him for ASD when it is mostly sensory issues that he has. And then when the seeing a behaviour therapist specialised in food avoidance disorder be able to deal with his other compulsive behaviours or they just indicative that he's not able to tolerate the world. I'm definitely not pretending to know anything to do with the subject at all; as I've said before this is all new to me. Fuck that's a lot.

OP posts:
SinkGirl · 23/02/2021 21:22

I would prefer my child learnt socially valid and functionally equivalent skills, or had a time and space set aside where they could spin/rock/flap that didn't interfere with their learning.

But this is literally the purpose of sensory therapies. If a child’s sensory seeking is so overwhelming that they can’t focus on learning, or if the desire to mouth is so great that it’s all they do when given any object, they won’t be learning any “socially valid” skills.

Dustyhedge · 23/02/2021 21:37

You’ve had some horrid comments here. Just because 5yos in some countries wear masks doesn’t mean it is desirable. They are learning so much about communication, social skills etc. Reception kids can barely organise themselves with their jumpers etc. Masks will go missing, be chewed etc. I think it’s largely pointless for that age.

Hardchoices · 23/02/2021 21:50

@JamesMiddletonsMarshmallows

It's a good job you're not in Scotland, 5yo's have had to wear masks there for quite some time.

But some washable ones and pack a few in a wee pencil case. He'll get used to it

This is not true. I am in scotland and my 5 and 7 year olds are not wearing masks at all in school. It hasn’t even been mentioned.
nestlestealswater · 23/02/2021 22:01

I'm so confused by all of this @RosyPrimroseDoll is SPD linked to ASD as it seems odd that the paediatrician has re-referred him for ASD when it is mostly sensory issues that he has. And then when the seeing a behaviour therapist specialised in food avoidance disorder be able to deal with his other compulsive behaviours or they just indicative that he's not able to tolerate the world. I'm definitely not pretending to know anything to do with the subject at all; as I've said before this is all new to me. Fuck that's a lot.

It's all new to you now but it won't be forever. You will get there. ASD is made up of difficulties in many areas - social communication, sensory, speech etc. Some children struggle with all of these areas, some hardly struggle at all in a few areas but are more severe in others. So now you've made the doctor aware of more extreme sensory issues he might meet the threshold when he might not have met it before.