Some advice, anyone in council/social housing?

[Sunflower2019]

I’m currently living in a two bed house, it is actually only designed for three people as my daughters bedroom is so small she can only fit a single bed in it not even a wardrobe or chest of drawers. My daughter is almost 13 and my little boy is six months, he is currently sharing with me. We are currently banned be on the housing list due to overcrowding and I am coming in at around 40 on most of my local properties, some of them further afield I am over the 100 mark. Does anyone know how it works?? I was 38 on a house locally and it was the first want to come up next to my village in the last six months unfortunately it wasn’t local connection only so I’m not holding my breath but how did they choose a suitable person? Would I ever get a house being 38th in line?

And is anyone waiting because I feel like I could be sitting waiting for years?

Any advice would be great. I did think about going to the doctors as my anxiety has been really bad as my baby keeps getting woken up by my daughter as we are in such a small house and the walls are so thin and she’s trying to study. We would really like to be able to put our little boy in a coat but I cannot fit one in my bedroom 😩

@sandichshortofapicnic

You will be waiting years unfortunately depending on area and demand. You are best off bidding on less desirable properties as you will have a higher chance on these. We have been waiting 2 years so far 3 children in a 2 bedroom flat with a leaking kitchen ceiling too! The highest we have come is 20th place. You have to be realistic and make the best of what you have

And people who are homeless or become physically unable to access their home will always be in a higher band.

Surely people realise that getting a larger council home because you have another child in certain areas is nigh on impossible these days?

I'm in a HA property. I don't know where you are in the country but with my housing association, a baby isn't considered a person till it's a year old and my lounge was classed as a bedroom so you'd be adequately housed where I am.
I was in a 3 bedroom needing to downsize to a 2 and it took 5 years of bidding to finally get a smaller house.

I think you are in for a long wait. Sorry

What is your general area OP?

We're South East, band A and been told it'll still be approx 18 months despite being priority due to a special needs child, working family, and children being removed from their other parent recently so needing 2 extra rooms.

Depending on their allocation policy, you could be in for a very long wait. Band B in my area is around 5 years before allocated a home.

If you are number 50 you will be waiting ages. Until your son is 1 you won't go up order. After he is 1 you will get a few more points that.migjt take you to say 25 or so. Near to me a couple have 3 children and now twins in a 2 bed flat. I think they might have had another baby to get moved into a house but got surprised by twins. They have been waiting over 5 years for a move to a 3 bedroom house. The thing is they don't come empty very often. When 1 does come up people who are even more overcrowded or in temporary accommodation get priority. Could you look to rent privately?

@Sunflower2019 Sadly, unless someone in your family has additional needs, or there are 2 children of different genders over the age of 10, you are probably never going to get an offer... Especially as your youngest won't be over 10 for nearly 10 years!

By the time you get anywhere near an offer, your DD will probably have left home/left for uni. (Because more and more people in more need, will keep coming onto the list...)

Have you thought about picking properties, not only in 'undesirable areas' but also rural/semi remote with no amenities or public transport? (If you have no car that's no good of course...) My friend did this after being classed as 'suitably housed'... she picked a house in a village 3.5 miles from any shops or doctors or anything, with no public transport.

And after a year and a half of bidding on nearly 100 properties on a housing association list, and only being 40th to 70th on the list each time, she started ending up at No 5, and then No 4, and then No 6, and then No 2, and then on the fifth attempt, she was 1st. She got an offer, she took it, and she is still there! After 5 years.

She loves it too. Says it's the best place she has ever lived. There are no real amenities and no public transport, but there is a little pub, a Church, a little parish hall that has village groups, course, and meet-ups, and a strong, close community who rally round and help anyone who is in need. It's also in a stunningly pretty area.

The house is lovely too, and in a little cul de sac of just 12 properties, and it has beautiful views. She also has a tenancy for life, and only pays £70 a week rent, (and all of the repairs and maintenance is included obviously...)

If you have 2 bedrooms plus 1 living room you unfortunately will not be considered very high priority, I'd guess 3-5 years.

Can you not have a sofa bed or high bed in the living room?

Have you thought about picking properties, not only in 'undesirable areas' but also rural/semi remote with no amenities or public transport? (If you have no car that's no good of course...) My friend did this after being classed as 'suitably housed'... she picked a house in a village 3.5 miles from any shops or doctors or anything, with no public transport.

Probably not as the OP says the 12-year-old has to stay at the same school.

I'm trying to understand how the baby is constantly being woken by the 12-year-old if she's 'trying to study'.

I have a teenager with autism, ADHD, OCD and possibly PDA and he doesn't constantly wake us up even.

OP, just to give you some perspective:
Kids waking each other up is unfortunately not usual for a lot of people living in flats or houses with thin walls (or next to noisy neighbors!).
Children sharing a bedroom is also not unusual, even with a large age gap - plus at the moment your DS sleeps with you so that is not an issue yet, at some point maybe you could ask your DD is she prefers to share with you or with her brother.

My advice is to bid on other properties, but at the same time to accept that you don't have it that bad with 1 adult 2DC in a 2 bed property.

You have enough bedrooms for everyone that lives there? You also chose to have another baby knowing how much space you had.

Can't you privately rent if you want more room?

Could you not put a single bed in your room, then you'll have room for a cot/toddler bed?

We (2 adults 2kids - boy and girl) were living in a 2 bed bungalow and classed as overcrowded as the bungalow was classed as a 3 person home but as neither of our children were over 10 at the time legally they could share so weren't a major priority despite being in band 3. In the end we moved to a bigger house once my eldest turned 9 after being on the list for around 5 years and that was only because my mum knew a high up Councillor who put in a good word for us.

Exactly how big are both bedrooms? (and do they have any odd shapes/low roof in parts)? It sounds like the so-called single isn't even that.

It is probably hardest to upsize from a 2 to 3 bed, whether by swapping or via the waiting list, as there is so much demand for and low supply of that size property. But it might be worth putting leaflets through doors in case someone is under-occupying and would swap but isn't aware of the mutual exchange sites.

Otherwise you might have to widen your search area if the overcrowding is worse for you than having to move schools.

But you're not over crowded? You have 3 people in a house for 3 people.
Why does your daughter have to stay at the school she's at?

I was band 1 due to violence and luckily got a flat really quickly. However the wait is long by me. My DM got her home when she was the 3rd priority bidder but the other 2 people didn’t show up to view the home so got it by default.

I think you need to try and make the best of the house you already have. You could be there for a long, long time.

Specially as it sounds as though you were comfortably housed before choosing to have another child. Our council doesn’t bend over backwards to rehouse families that deliberately overcrowd themselves (probably quite reasonably).

Could you swap to a single bed, and then try and make a space in the bigger bedroom for you and the baby to share?

Siblings waking each other up is just one of those things. Any parent with more than one kid just need to learn how to manage it. It’s not really the housing dept. problem.

Unfortunately you're not overcrowded. You're in a 2 bed property with a child and a baby. Many children don't have their own rooms until they are 2 or older, as a child I shared a room with my parents (1 bed flat) until I was nearly 5; a friend of mine shared with her DD until the DD was 10. So your DS doesn't need his own room right now.

If you prefer him to be in a cot than say co sleep (and I know co sleeping is not for everyone) then if you cannot fit a double bed plus cot in your room, you will need to change that for a single bed, which should give you room for a cot.

You could always try your luck on the private rental market, but tbh you would be mad to give up a secure tenancy for the insecurity of private renting.

Alternatively do you work? Can you look at saving for a deposit to buy somewhere of your own? Whether outright or shared ownership.

We had max medical points once, 98 out of 100, child life-threateningly ill and 2 consultants to attest to that. Got nowt after 8 months. We needed ground floor due to child's mobility. Lost every bid. We rented a 1-bed flat privately near to the hospital with 3 kids including a 3-year old with autism. The youngest went in the living room with us and the 2 girls in the bedroom.

Put a single bed in the bedroom and baby's cot in there or a foldout in th living room and the kids get the rooms.

What area are you in?

I’m in a 3 bed HA house with 2 autistic kids who are both entitled to their own room. Problem is dd’s room is really tiny, sounds like your box room, there’s space for a bed but nothing else. My eldest will probably not move out for a very long time as she has high needs, but dd2 really has drawn the short straw with her room. There’s no way we’d be moved as we are not overcrowded, so I’m thinking of giving up my room for dd2 and turning my living room into a bedroom. Will be a bit rubbish but doable.

I needed to move and spent up to 6 hrs a day on swap sites for 4 months and then I got a swap. Not to my first choice of place to move to but well good enough (now I love it here).
If you want something sometimes you really have to push for it.
G'luck.

Thank you for some of the kind and positive comments and not for the judgy ones!

My daughter is 13, I’ve spoken to my council who have said she shouldn’t share a room with me or her brother it’s inappropriate and she needs her own space to study as she is homeschooling etc. I’m happy to have my son in my room, I stated this but I wanted advice for the future as it wouldn’t be right to have to share long term with him. I was also raped in the home I’m in and have been trying to leave this property for a while, I met my ex and I accidentally fell pregnant, these things happen.

Hi OP, I'm sorry you've gotten some judgy comment, some people think that if you are on benefits or in social housing you're not allowed to make any big life decisions at all (God forbid someone in a 2 bed has another baby! /s)

Unfortunately as other posters have said you most likely won't be too far up the shortlist due to the house you're in being a 3 person house. However it might be worthwhile checking on other advertising websites for social housing - I know my organisation advertises on Right Move and those are first come first served (as long as you fit the criteria). It might be a long wait on your councils website but things can always fall through with other candidates - sometimes they don't disclose information that makes them ineligbile, sometimes they don't respond in time, sometimes they refuse the property after its been offered etc. So then the HA would go back to whoevers next in line - maybe not all the way to 38 but we routinely get 5 to 10 names in before we find someone suitable to let to. Keep on looking and hopefully you find somewhere soon :)

It sucks but this kind of thing happens all the time and you'll always be really far down the list as you're suitably housed and in most councils the living room counts as a living space.

You need to be proactive rather than justifying and thinking it'll get you farther up the list.

Every suggestion given to improve your living situation where you are now you've downplayed.

It won't help you to keep focusing on getting a 3-bed because depending on the area you need to accept that it won't happen.

In many areas that are literally tens of thousands of people in worse predicaments who will always trump you on any list as they've got no home at all or have lost the ability to access their home at all.

It will be totally fine for you to share with your ds for years to come by which time you may have moved up the housing priority list or may be earning enough to rent somewhere bigger. In the meantime maybe you could look at reconfiguring /refurbishing the space you have to make it work better.

You didn't 'accidentally' fall pregnant! You've got loads of posts on here where you're trying for a baby with ur now ex!