To ask if anyone else prefer eating their evening meal on a tray?

[FredSoftly]

I have friends who insist that every meal is eaten en famille at the table so everyone can "talk about their day." Then they complain that it's often tense or their teens are moody and uncommunicative.

When I suggest tea on a tray, they gasp in horror!

We often do this in front of the TV and it can make for a nice relaxed evening. We also manage to chat a lot without facing each other across the kitchen table on a nightly basis.

Am I common?

The trouble with your portrayal of the situation, OP, is that you seem to be trying to cast families who eat off a tray in front of the tv as chilled out and happy, and families who eat at the table as serious people who insist on chatting about politics etc. It's a false divide.

I can assure you that we often have a right laugh talking about nonsense around the table, and my teens don't need to be distracted by the tv in order to be pleasant and chatty. Equally, there are probably also plenty of people who eat off a tray who are serious and grumpy.

We eat most meals at the table due to young children who are messy. If it's just me and DH we like to eat our meal on a tray while we watch tv/catch up in comfort.

We eat every meal at the table, even snack time. The kids would destroy the carpet and sofa if we ate on our knees in the living room, sticky hands and spillages are not worth it.

My teen won’t speak at the table. She just glares😬. Jealous of these people with chatty teens.

My parents must be ultra right wing unwoke people. When young they couldn't afford a table to eat off so they had their sit down together evening meal off the ironing board.

Why didn’t they just put it in their knees?

If we want to watch something important on The Telly like 'Celebrity Curtain Hanging', or 'Drunk Dads on Drums' or, my favourite, 'Prodding Sleeping Cats with Sticks' we just bring in a wheelbarrow loaded up with baked beans and help ourselves using our hands.
I thought most people did this?

Another thought, what if there is a TV in your dining area?? We had this when I was a late teen and I was home from Uni.

Dad got a taste for those '101 biggest celeb controversy' type shows on E Entertainment and we'd watch those while eating at the table 🤣🤣 we're sophisticated I swear 😂😂

@ArseInTheCoOpWindow

My teen won’t speak at the table. She just glares😬. Jealous of these people with chatty teens.

Lol don't worry I was like this and now my parents have to hang up on me to get me off the phone. When I'm home Dad grumbles about the noise of me and mum gossiping.

We eat in the kitchen but it’s got a sort of alcove dining area with a sofa and TV on the wall. We have the news on during tea. We chat, watch the news and just get on with things. We do eat in the lounge on a Saturday.

But eating every meal at a table smacks of unwoke, right-wing white privilege.

Fuck. We’ve just turned the second reception room into a dining room now our kids are a bit older - thought it’d be nice. Didn’t realise it made us look like rejects from the KKK.....

But eating every meal at a table smacks of unwoke, right-wing white privilege What???

We eat at the table every night - I have kids, they can be messy. I dont particularly want stains all over my sofas, and I like to teach them table manners for when we go back out to pubs and restaurants for meals.

Its also the point at which everyone takes time out from working/homeschool to be together - no TV, no gadgets, everyone's free to talk or not if they want to. My kids seem to really enjoy it, I can never shut them up once they've eaten!

Definitely an each to their own thing, some people are happier with a tray on their knee which is great if it works for them, but I wouldn't say that my eating habits are in any way related to my political leanings or my upbringing. We were so poor when we were kids that we didn't have a table to eat at!

I haven't for years. When DH and I were in the habit of eating like this regularly I put a fair bit of weight on.
The only reason we ever did it was when there was a particular programme we wanted to watch, now everything is on demand or recordable there is no need.

We ate on knees very rarely when I was growing up, usually when the weather was freezing as the only source of heat was the living room.

We don't even have trays to eat off. Seems very Simpsons to do that. If we eat in front of the TV (almost never), we put the plates on the coffee table. How do you use fork and knife for food on a tray, won't it tip over? Are people eating with their hands or with a fork. Horrors.

We eat take away pizza in front of the TV (usually a film) and it’s a massive treat for my DC. Aside from that, we don’t eat anywhere other than the table.

I know it's a lot to do with luck but my child is not a fussy eater at all and I think a lot of that is due to home cooked meals eaten together with no distraction and us rolemodelling

Hahahahahahahahahahaahahaha!

It's down to luck. When I was with my ex and we sat at the table always, one of my DC went through a phase of only eating beige food, regardless of my home cooking (which is pretty decent, considering the compliments I get).

I get more conversation, and clean plates, now that it's just DC and me. All that "role modelling" from ex was a load of wank, mealtimes could feel so artifical.

And even though we sometimes eat in front of the tv, my DC have good manners, eat well, and are chatty on a wide range of subjects.

@blueshoes

We don't even have trays to eat off. Seems very Simpsons to do that. If we eat in front of the TV (almost never), we put the plates on the coffee table. How do you use fork and knife for food on a tray, won't it tip over? Are people eating with their hands or with a fork. Horrors.

Easy solution:

Large pasta bowls are ideal. Cut your food up beforehand, eat with bowl in one hand (I hold mine at chest level) and eat with fork in other hand. I've even eaten a roast dinner this way. Although, we'll be eating at the table tonight, I'm putting out food in serving bowls.

I also do a Chinese style hotpot now and again. Now you really need to sit at the table for that, you can't do it with plate on a tray. We enjoy sitting at the table together, dunking meat and veg into the soup base to cook and eat. It's a lot of fun.

You can ways tell in a restaurant which kids don't sit at the table at home. They either needs iPads to occupy them or they are on and off chairs, making noise and can't cope with the "boredom" of sitting and chatting. Children develop language and social skills by sitting at a distraction free table and learning to converse politely. They also learnt about social politeness like being excused from the table at the end of the meal.

I also like to keep food in the kitchen at the table with wipeable table and slate floors rather than the soft furnishings of the living room getting Bolognese on them.

If like some of you I couldn't get through a meal without hurling half of it over the furniture and flooring I'd probably insist on only ever eating at a wipe clean table too.

@TwoLeftSocksWithHoles I really really hope you have a job in tv

Maybe I am an oddball but, we always eat at the kitchen table, on special occasions we use the dining room. We have no tv in either rooms and phones are not used at the table.
The meals are relaxed and there is room for everything.
I can't imagine worse than trying to eat off my knee, and would refuse to eat if the tv was on. How are children to learn table manners?

If I lived alone I wouldn't have a tv , and when I did years ago,I always ate at the table. If there are spills it's easier to wipe up.
The only exceptions we have are when some of us retire to the sitting room after dinner and have a cup of tea/coffee, and last thing at night take a warm drink to bed. But all main meals are at the table.
But it is choice and what you are used to. Just like in pre lockdown days when our kids were small we went shopping as a family, and got them involved and dh got them to tot up the bill and work out how much things were. As adults they are total foodies and always eat at the table .

I love the sound of that. I'm going to try it!!!

We have dinner on trays every night, but it’s just me and dh now.

If there’s anybody else, we sit at the table.

How do you deal with the mess when something drops,spills, etc?
Unless you are really short with furnishings because you just moved or not able to have a table and chairs, then it's just slobbish

Slobbish? I'm perfectly capable of eating a meal, be it from a tray or at the table, without dropping it on myself or on the floor. Can't you manage that too?

You can ways tell in a restaurant which kids don't sit at the table at home

Well, you can't unless you ask them. My DD has good table manners because she's been well brought up ... by someone who doesn't sit in restaurants judging other people's kids.