To ask if it would be helpful to have a board that caters for Birth Parents?

[MistressoftheDarkSide]

Inspired by a recent and now full up thread, and after a search of the site, I just wondered if it would be helpful to have a board for people who would like to discuss the loss of their children through circumstances not of their choosing, such as but not necessarily limited to social services intervention and forced adoption, or custody wrangles etc?

Searching has shown me a good number of posts on the subject, but it is a hugely emotive subject and opinions can become extremely polarised.

Discussions about perceived injustice become heated and the debate over the rights and wrongs can overlook the genuine pain and cries for help in a welter of judgement.

Posts on the subject are scattered over the whole site so a designated board with some links to professional support could be useful.

If such a board exists, my apologies, but I couldn't find it, if there is a link I would be grateful to see it.

YABU - this is unhelpful and unnecessary
YANBU - This would be a helpful and inclusive thing.

There is an adoption board already, I think. Do you think this would need an entirely separate board or could people make use of that one?

I know, and have scrolled through about three years of posts. Primarily it supports adopters and adoptees. Of course there are crossovers, but some subjects are hugely divisive and both sides can get understandably defensive.

Perceived miscarriages of justice in the field are hugely contentious, so a space where people can share and process with less judgement might be helpful for all concerned?

Yes, that makes sense. Might be worth posting a request on site stuff for MNHQ to consider.

@LizzieBirmingham Thank you for taking the time to reply I shall give that a go .

Have posted in Site Stuff. Shall be interested to see if there is any interest.

But the more boards you have, the less likely they are to get posted on. Maybe people could post on the Adoption board and just make it clear from the title which side they are posting from, so people can just not go onto threads they might be tempted to be unhelpful on? And a pinned thread to make those expectations clear.

But also, they might be very helpful even if they are posting from the other side. There were plenty of adopters posting on the thread you mentioned who were being reasonable and informative.

Thanks for your input @rosiejaune.

I agree there were helpful posts on the thread I mentioned, and I like your idea for the adoption board. I just wondered if a more focussed space might be helpful and also yield a more coherent picture of birth parent experiences.

There was alot of scepticism on the other thread - natural on AIBU - and I worry that the debate veers towards "this never happens " territory via "no smoke without fire" very quickly.

It’s been suggested before, OP. I think the conclusion was that such a board would simply get almost no traffic. I think both the length and strength of feeling on the thread you mention was down to it being on AIBU and hence attracting posters who had never previously given the adoptive triangle a thought. Whereas threads by a regular birth mother poster about the shortcomings of letterbox on the Adoption forum get far fewer, but more informed and sympathetic, posts (mostly from adopters.)

Fair enough @Tureen, I see where you're coming from, and yes I did see kind posts about post adoption scenarios such as letterbox contact.

I suppose I just feel a bit protective of those who are struggling with care proceedings etc as sometimes they do get jumped on.

I think it’s a good idea OP.

Bumping for you.