Is it weird to start conversation with a stranger in the park..?

[summersun08]

My son is a year old, born just before the first lockdown. I’m a first time mum.

I’ve found maternity leave quite lonely. During the summer I managed to get out and go to a few baby classes (when they were allowed) but I never really made and friends from going.

I have friends but none of them have children yet so I don’t have the option to meet them during the week.

Every day I take my son for a walk around our local park. I usually go the same time after my sons morning nap.

For the last few weeks when we go there is a woman there pushing her son.
I would guess she is a similar age to me and her son is about the same age as mine.

I’d love to have a friend to meet up with locally and so many times I thought about waving to her or asking if she fancies a walk, but I feel like it would be weird.

It’s not in the playground like we’re both stood around, we’re both walking when I see her.

I’ve also, since having my son, been struggling with low self esteem and I’m worried she might not want to be seen with me.

I’ve gained weight and my psoriasis has flared which is noticeable on my face.

I just don’t want to appear to be a weirdo approaching her, but if she’s local and we both have children the same age, id love to have company on my walks.
Or even just someone to make some plans with when restrictions permit.

Not at all. I often talk to strangers in the park at a bus stop. I don't dive in them though I welcome conversation unless I can see they're unstable.
Friendships build up and if not the chat is nice.

Definitely start a light conversation. But one way not to feel/come across as desperate is to remember that just as she may or may not want to meet up for walks etc, you may not want to either! You’re just putting a feeler out, testing the water. Don’t see it as all or nothing, ie have to be great friends or nothing. She may be someone you end up chatting with more, maybe not. Approach it lightly. Even if it’s just a few minutes chat I bet it will brighten both your days!

And I’m constantly having random chats with other mothers in the park!

Not strange at all. Agree with pp just smile, say hello and ask about her baby, compare baby notes and see where the conversation goes. Suggest shall we walk and talk to keep the babies happy. Good luck. I talk to everyone when I'm out abs about alone. Walking, on a train, plane etc.

Definitely say hello, not weird at all. Conversations with other parents at the park is the one of the highlights of my day at the moment. Being in a house on my own with the baby all day every day is really draining me.

I say go for it!
I met one of my now closest friends out walking with my baby. Our kids are just a couple of weeks apart.

@Aprilx

I don’t think that is weird. I don’t have children, only dogs and it seems a bit like fellow dog walkers starting to chat to each other, perfectly normal.

I don't have a dog but talk to the dog walkers that are generally heading to the park down the road. Generally they all love it if you compliment their "puppy" (no matter it's age).

Basically - most people like to chat.

2 of my now closest friends are people I met walking the dog, same principle, just strike up a conversation and you'll be golden

Not at all weird- that's how you get to know other parents (by randomnly talking to them). I'd agree to stick with small talk while the children play (which will make it less intense as you'll naturally have to keep breaking off to sort the children.

Definitely say hello. I am “friends” with a few people I see when walking the dog. We tend to walk together if we bump into each other etc and there is one who (ore covid) I’d have a coffee with.

Just say hello have a quick chat and see how things go

Not weird at all - in fact, a couple of close mum friends I know now I met when randomly walking in a park or in a cafe with my LO and we just started chatting about our LO's and it progressed into a friendship. You never know, she might be thinking the same. Maternity leave / bringing up a LO can be very lonely - I'd definitely go for it, desperate or not. What's the worse she can say - no?! And if she does, there will be others you will meet, in time.
I hope it goes well! x

@RedskyBynight

Not at all weird- that's how you get to know other parents (by randomnly talking to them). I'd agree to stick with small talk while the children play (which will make it less intense as you'll naturally have to keep breaking off to sort the children.

@RedskyBynight

But that’s the awkward part. I don’t see on on the playground, I just pass her on my walk.
It’s just a small local park.

Sorry - misread your post. You can still stop and say a few words. "we always seem to be passing each other" is as good an icebreaker as any other. Then you can ask about her child.

Just start with a typical conversation starter “nice to see the weather in the turn”. Or similar. See where that takes you.

I'd just start with exchanging greetings 'morning' or even 'morning, lovely today isn't it?' and see if she seems open to more of a chat. It could take a few of these pleasantries before actually progressing to having a chat though... either way, surely it'd be nice to greet somebody local even if it doesn't progress

This absolutely. You might even click immediately, she might be as lonely as you and talk your ears off, who knows. Or you might just say hi a few times before it feels more natural.

Psoriasis, I have it on my face (actually from head to toes) It's soul destroying, emotional and confidence sapping. A little trick I've learned over many years is just to pretend it's not there. Be yourself and behave like you would if you weren't having a flare up, it's hard at first but it works. Sort of like 'fake it till you make it'.

Good luck

This is basically how I met one of my best friends- still mates 14 years later. In fact me and another mum exchanged numbers in the park earlier this year because our kids got on with each other. Haven’t met up yet because of lockdowns since then, but we will!

All new mums want sometimes is another adult to talk to, even if it's just someone to say hello to. You've got nothing to lose and everything to gain. I'm sure she thinks you look like a great mum taking your child out for fresh air and isn't thinking twice about your appearance otherwise.

In my village it would be a cardinal sin not to say ‘morning’ on your way past 😂. I don’t have a baby (DS is 11) or a dog but I have been making friends with a few old ladies on my morning run, one of them told me I was late the other day 😂.

Just say hi/morning as you pass...I'm really shy and struggled after dc ..but made myself talk to people as realised I needed to be out and would be good for dc down the line......after a bit got more of short chat..was lucky and hit on a total extrovert who hasn't stopped talking since!....
I don't see her as much as kids went to different schools but am close to others I met through her.....because she talked to everyone she was a one woman networking machine....
I can see how its so hard now but most people I met through nodding at the playground..or her at playgroups....maybe change your times and go when it's busier!

Do it!! I've done it so many times. Instead of asking to be friends you can ask if she would be interested in playdates! Sounds a bit less desperate. Then you can exchange numbers to organise this and naturally chat and grow the friendship.

I’m a ftm with a 6 month old and always smile or say hi to any other mums I walk past. Also noticed this week with the better weather nearly everyone I pass has smiled or said morning! I would start with a good morning and see how she reacts - I know I would love other mums chatting to me x

Can't you just try and strike up a conversation?

No need to ask her to make plans (I'd find that weird, sorry!) but by all means start a conversation and see where it leads?

is it weird to start conversation with a stranger in the park..?
Only in London.

Just ask. The worst thing that can happen is that she says no or makes an excuse. A woman I regularly noticed on the bus home from town had a little girl my sons age and she approached me asking all about us and then suggested we meet up locally with our kids. We ended up being friends for years. Go for it!