Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Once you have kids you can never look young again

66 replies

Peridotty · 22/02/2021 04:27

I used to look really young for my age. People always thought i was in my early to mid twenties. Since having a baby I look and feel really old (but I’m happy being a mum and think it’s totally worth it. I’m also not vain at all). My baby is a terrible sleeper which could contribute to the tired look in my eyes. aibu to think that once you have kids you can never look ‘youthful’ again.

OP posts:
FortunesFave · 22/02/2021 04:33

I had DD1 at 31 and still looked youthful until I had DD2 aged 36...then I got fatter and older immediately.

Chunkymenrock · 22/02/2021 04:56

Yanbu.

Longdistance · 22/02/2021 05:25

Yanbu. The same happened to me with dd2. I looked so youthful, my df used to say I looked so young for my age and people were shocked when I told them and produced my passport or driving licence.
Now I feel and look haggered. Wrinkles on my forehead, crows feet.
I miss sleep 😫

Whyemseeaye · 22/02/2021 05:51

So true. I had two in 18 months. My eldest turned three last week. The amount I’ve aged in that three years in unbelievable!

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 22/02/2021 06:03

My friend has had two and still looks young. She's 34. She's always been slim and petite though, and has a husband and family who are very good at taking the kids off downstairs so that she can nap or have lie in.

PurpleFlower1983 · 22/02/2021 06:05

I’m 37 and have DD2 and another on the way. It’s definitely aged me! Lines have appeared where there were no lines before - Botox is calling! Grin

Bmidreams · 22/02/2021 06:10

I think you can still look youthful, but it definitely puts ten years on you instantly. I've never managed to lose all the weight either, and that makes me look older.

Bmidreams · 22/02/2021 06:11

Frumpy.

user1493413286 · 22/02/2021 06:35

It’s definitely aged me; I used to have a bit of a youthful glow but 2 children later and the sleep deprivation has done me. I used to joke that you could tell who was a dad as single men in their thirties look quite different to married dads in their thirties; it Doesn’t feel so funny now when I realise the same about me

Imapotato · 22/02/2021 06:40

The beauty of having kids very young is that i was so young when I had them, there was no way I couldn’t look young ifswim. Now I’m in my mid 30s and have been getting a full nights sleep for years, so still look young (always told I look about 25, regularly get asked for ID etc). If I had a year of sleep deprecation now, I’m not sure I’d looks so young!

rattlemehearties · 22/02/2021 06:42

Well on the one hand you don't know for sure how you would have looked anyway at this age without having kids. I have far more greys now but then again I'm nearly a decade older...

I also think things improve after the baby stage when you are getting more sleep and exercise and finally buy some nice new clothes and can get a haircut (post lockdown) so yabu

burritofan · 22/02/2021 06:43

Saaaaaame. It’s the skin, I think. Even when I get a decent night’s sleep these days, the glow is gone. Although I have friends who are through the nappy/night-waking/tantrum years and their glow has returned. Which might be that parenting becomes less awful on the complexion, or once they’re through nursery you can afford really good skincare.

Indecisivelurcher · 22/02/2021 06:43

I agree and lockdown has been the icing on the cake

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 22/02/2021 06:46

@Imapotato

The beauty of having kids very young is that i was so young when I had them, there was no way I couldn’t look young ifswim. Now I’m in my mid 30s and have been getting a full nights sleep for years, so still look young (always told I look about 25, regularly get asked for ID etc). If I had a year of sleep deprecation now, I’m not sure I’d looks so young!
This.

I still had regular ID checks before DD2 was born (no idea about after as I haven’t tried to buy anything age restricted in a shop for months) because I look young.

I just look a lot fatter since having children. I’d like to rectify that but I like eating...

Imapotato · 22/02/2021 06:51

*sleep deprivation. Damn you auto correct!

AcrobaticCardigan · 22/02/2021 06:54

Snap! I was often mistaken for 10 years younger. Now I look far older than I did. I barely recognise myself now. I almost look like a different person. Sure lockdown has also taken its toll.

Iris27 · 22/02/2021 07:10

Totally agree.

And agree with the comment about dads too. I'm on a dating app and I can usually tell by the faces/appearance which ones have got kids and which ones haven't!

Carycy · 22/02/2021 07:19

No I don’t think it’s has made a difference to me. I have three. All in my 30s. All cosleep so plenty of sleep deprivation on and off. Plus a part time professional job. I have prioritised looking after myself still though. So still have a decent skincare routine etc. pre lockdown went to the gym a lot. I’ve put on a little bit of weight but that’s more age related now I am nearing 40 rather anything I do with the kids.

Morgan12 · 22/02/2021 07:21

7 years over never getting 8 hours sleep has changed me alot yep. I've noticed my friends looking older too.

Adancewithdragons · 22/02/2021 07:26

Never have I read a post so completely true about myself! 😂🤣🤦‍♀️

GrumpyMiddleAgedWoman · 22/02/2021 07:34

I knew someone who had her first baby at 19 and even after the third in her late 20s she still looked amazingly youthful and glam.

I never looked as good as her, but I was once told, in amazed tones, 'But you don't look old enough to have THREE children!' I was in my early 30s at the time and felt somewhat haggard. Maybe the person was just being kind!

Gastropod · 22/02/2021 07:42

I think it's just the tiredness. My face definitely looked older after I had my children, but it was the lack of sleep really. As soon as they got better at sleeping and I got proper sleep again, my skin tone, eyes/dark circles improved massively and I looked much younger again.

So don't really agree that you "never look young again". (Unless of course, you never did in the first place ;-))

moita · 22/02/2021 07:42

my two have definitely aged me!! 2.5 year old has started sleeping through finally and that combined with a good skincare routine (I'm 35) means I look better now than this time last year so there is hope

justanotherneighinparadise · 22/02/2021 07:45

For me it is the weight of responsibility that’s aged me more than the sleepless nights. I worry now about EVERYTHING.

PopsicleHustler · 22/02/2021 07:46

I am 33 and I have just had my 5th little one. I look terrible as I sleep about 3 hours a night. Combine that with all the other sleepless nights and early mornings and I probably look double my age lol

However people do compliment me that I do look younger than 33. When I was 25, I was told I look 17!