I have been with my partner for around a year and a half, I am close to giving up but I don’t know whether I’m too sensitive or whether it’s him that making me feel this way.
He has grown up a lot since the beginning of our relationship and I want an unbiased opinion, so I hope this doesn’t sound like an onslaught.
Whenever we argue, he won’t apologise unless I pull it out of him and even then it doesn’t feel particularly sincere. He has a way of taking my point (why I’m upset etc) and turning it into something completely different to help his cause, twisting the thing he said that upset me in the first place to make it seem as though I’m the one that’s taken it the wrong way and am being unreasonable. He will be different from week to week - one week showering me with kisses and compliments and the next week only giving me a peck on the lips when we say goodbye. He says that he can’t be himself anymore because everything he says upsets me (ie I got upset when he snapped at me rudely in the middle of a supermarket) but says I get upset over every ‘little’ thing and should just let things slide sometimes. I feel like pulling my hair out sometimes when we argue because he is impossible to talk to. He constantly talks about himself at work and I quote ‘I know I am better than everyone on that team’. Which, to be fair to him his work (he’s a landscaper) is incredible but I just find it so arrogant and off putting to hear it said out loud. He has also gone through a few different work places within the last 6 months or so. I question myself after we argue about something he's said to upset me wondering whether I am too sensitive. He has a lot of narcissistic traits and has openly admitted that himself, but said he won’t change because he’s fed up of changing himself for other people. He white lies about some really odd things (how much he paid for our date night when I was there when he paid - he said he’d paid £400 when it was half that but why lie, I was there?!)
He’s never really been interested in anything about my past life as he says he doesn’t like hearing about it, I can sense his uninterest and uncomfortable-ness when I talk about past girls holidays or even recent nights out. He says he’s lost his ‘fight’ now because I get upset about everything but I have told him not everything has to be an argument. I like to think that I am a good understanding person. I can be cold and incredibly hot headed simultaneously during arguments but I admit when I am wrong and I am working on my toxic traits. But he makes me feel as though I am a bad person and that my feelings have no merit, when really he just doesn’t hold himself accountable for anything he does. I apologise for the length of this and reading back, seems silly to even post as I think I know the answer. But when you’re not in the situation yourself it’s easier to rationalise, so I thought I would post on here and ask whether it was me.