Wibu to text neighbour

[Terminallysleepdeprived]

Firstly I love my neighbour, she is a great friend

However, she is very loud on the phone. Whilst I can't hear the exact words I can make out most and it is virtually every bloody night.

She doesn't work due to ill health and her family are all a significant distance so I do understandshe needs to talk to people. She is extremely clinically vulnerable and significantly disabled so has been isolating since last year. But her room is adjoining to mine (terraced houses) and I can hear her till late every single night. Chatting laughing etc. It has currently been going in for the best part of 2 hours. I have to be up for work at 530, I'm shattered.

Would I be a complete cow if I text and just asked her to keep the noise down a bit as I'm trying to sleep

Is there another room she could make the calls from? If she’s a great friend, your text is worded sensitively and she can sit in her living room rather than her bedroom (say), hopefully you’ll get a positive outcome.

Put the radio on next to the wall the next time she is on the phone. Turn it on loud enough so she'll be able to hear it and then she might realise how loud she is. It doesn't sound like she is doing it deliberately so it could be easily sorted.

Can you put a wardrobe against the wall to muffle the sound?

Surely if she's a friend then a friendly text is easy? I used to have very loud neighbours when in London but was friends enough with them to text 'Hey darls I can hear you in my flat! Can you move rooms/shut your window/maybe not sing 'It's a Sin' on your balcony at 2am on Tuesday morning. Thanks!' And they'd button it and apologise.

@Caramelwhispers that is ridiculous and unnecessary

She is a good friend but her illness makes her cough, a lot and loudly. She is always apologising if she has had a bad time with it. I spend my life telling her it's fine and I barely hear her. Which is a total lie but she can't help it so why make a fuss. I have already lined the party wall with wardrobes and furniture and I can't afford to have soundproofing retrofitted unfortunately.

She is on constant oxygen so I have no idea of she can move to a different room. She has a ridiculously long pipe for the machine downstairs so she can come and sit in my garden for a chat (pre covid) or play jenga with my dd, But I am guessing the upstairs one is different to prevent the risk if strangulation.

When I next do her shopping I will speak to her, a text however well written is likely to upset her

What time does she actually talk until? Have you tried earplugs to get you off to sleep?

Would Telling her in a jokey way help ? “Hey ND you have good ol chats on the phone every night, you must have a lot of friends I can never get to sleep and I have to be up real early in the mornings haahaa”

Could you not swap rooms with your dd? Kids tend not to be woken by this sort of thing once they're asleep

@marmitepasta that would make my life hell. Dd doesn't sleep at the best of times and the coughing and talking etc would mean she never slept.

It sounds like you’ve unintentionally contributed to this situation yourself by telling her you can’t hear her cough so she probably assumes you can’t hear her talking.
I’d text but I’d also have a nice answer to why this is different from the coughing.

Earplugs are your friend.

@PurpleFlower1983

Earplugs are your friend.

This

Earplugs, white noise, tv or music on low. Just drown out the noise.

@NameChange1666

It sounds like you’ve unintentionally contributed to this situation yourself by telling her you can’t hear her cough so she probably assumes you can’t hear her talking. I’d text but I’d also have a nice answer to why this is different from the coughing.

This

I can't use ear plugs unfortunately. And normally would have the tv on low to drown it out but dd is having a rough few nights with night terrors so was in with me so couldn't have it on which is probably why I noticed it so much more.

The coughing she can't help, she knows I can hear it because I have mentioned before that I can hear the whir of the oxygen machine upstairs. I just don't want to sour things as she is a lovely neighbour.

I think I will just mention it when I drop her weekly shopping off and ask if she wouldn't mind knocking it on the head about 10 instead of it going on past 11. I may joke and say she needs her boyfriend to stay over more often as there is less noise