To be struggling to be more forthcoming?

[Suitedreams]

I'm a confident, assertive woman - generally regarded as taking no shit. I have a strong self belief, perhaps bordering on arrogance at times. And I'm quite opinionated, (not in an offensive sense, I'm not the sort of person who uses saying it as it is as an excuse for rudeness but I'm not afraid to say what I want to do/ eat etc)

However there's one area where I totally struggle with this, and that's the physical side of my relationship. I can't just say that I want sex, I feel completely uncomfortable.

My DP has previously made it clear that he needs me to give him the green light, that he will not instigate anything unless I've either said expressly or impliedly (but unambiguously) that I'm interested.

A further issue is that as he has ED issues, he needs to be prepared, so I can't just wait til we're in bed together and make a move (which is something I would and have done), I have to pre warn him a few hours before. It's that pre warning that overt declaration I'm having difficulty with.

I don't really understand why I struggle with this so much given I have no issues in speaking my mind day to day on other matters.

Anyone...?

Could you agree a signal? Something you both know but doesn't need you to say anything that makes you uncomfortable.

Me and DH have DC with a superhuman ability to sense when we're trying to get to it. The littlest one especially will, without fail, be up all evening if either of us think there's a chance of sex. Luckily, my DM has the little one overnight (life saving regular childcare arrangement!) regularly so we tend to take advantage then. The signal is either I'll shave my legs, which is an infrequent event, or DH has a shower in the afternoon.

Unfortunately signals tend to get misinterpreted, or at least they have with is, hence him asking me to be more unequivocal. I just wish I could feel less uncomfortable about it.