AIBU to ask you what you do when you can't sleep?

[Namechangegame123]

My sleep started going up the left about 6 months ago. I would get to sleep but then wake a few hours later and be up the rest of the night. Lately it seems to have settled into a pattern where about once a week I just don't sleep at all at night, literally not a wink.

I have tried soothing music, magnesium tablets and melatonin tablets, but they don't really seem to help. I'm finding it hard to get outside as we have 4 kids at home and by the time we get through all of the homeschooling it's dark, or often the rain is coming in sideways. One of my kids is 18 months and is going through a phase of loathing his buggy and this has made getting out for walks basically impossible.

It's really starting to impact me. The day after I get no sleep I nearly feel hungover, I have a headache and my shoulders and neck are really tense.

So has anyone got any tips for getting over to sleep and staying asleep?

Don't lay in bed awake for more than 15 minutes. Get up and sit in a chair, somewhere warm, with low light, and don't close your eyes. Keep them open. It gets harder and harder to keep them open. When you are feeling drowsy go back to your bed. Again, don't force your eyes closed but keep them open until it becomes impossible.
This is a technique I learned froma hospital sleep clinic when I suffered from very bad insomnia. (It is hell, I know!)

Personally I wouldn't drink tea, it contains caffeine and it will make you need to pee a few hours later so will wake you up again.

That's really tough when you don't sleep the whole night. I'm not a great sleeper, usually fall asleep OK, but when I'm having sleep trouble, I'd wake after few hours and be awake until morning. It's still an issue for me, and its often related to work stress, but some of the things I find helpful:

• Never use iPad or iPhone in bedroom (light from those devices is problematic)
• Read a book for 15-30 mins before sleep, it makes me fall asleep easily
• Drinking really effects my sleep, I never drink red wine, since that has worst effect for me, but in general if I drink I won't sleep
• Never drink tea/coffee (even decaf) after lunch
• If I'm very awake, I'd move to spare room, have a wank, and it helps me relax and sometimes get back asleep

I've often thought about a sleep clinic, but I'm able to muddle through as it

I try for about an hour, sometimes two, but if my mind is racing I just get up. It’s much better to watch films/read books/whatever than it is get in a mental habit where your mind associates bed with being wired and unable to sleep.

I had a sleepless night last night, in fact - went to sleep briefly (30-45 min or so), woke up with a start at half twelve and lay there for just over an hour trying to relax but once I knew it wasn’t going to happen I got up, came downstairs, played hay day, watched tv series on Prime, drank many cups of tea and generally just chilled out.

I listen to a podcast called Nothing Much Happens. I wake up in the night and cannot get back to sleep.

It’s good combo of it’s interesting enough to stop my mind working overtime, but boring enough that I do drift off.

I go down stairs and read the radio Times for half an hour and then go back to bed. I find it often works. I also never try to catch up with sleep in the day time if I haven't slept I stay awake until the next bedtime

I've stopped worrying about not sleeping. My dad didn't sleep well so I view it as something inherited, like hair colour. I just lie there and aim to relax as much as possible, so at least my body is tested, even if my mind isn't. My GP suggested Nytol, and that helps a bit, but I still only get around 4-5 hours a night and often less. If I have something specific in my head that I want to remember in the morning I write it down - that helps. I sometimes switch around top-to-toe in the bed and flip my pillow - that helps too (cooler). I make sure it is as dark as possible (black out blinds) and that there is some ventilation. That's easier said than done because if you're letting in air you're generally letting in light too, but luckily we sleep in a converted loft so I can open the eaves cupboard door, which does the trick in all but the height of summer.

Lack of sleep makes you grumpy, and uncreative, but it doesn't stop you focussing on tasks - just think about all those surgeons who manage on barely a wink of sleep for days on end.

Just don't read articles about how you "should" be getting 8 hours a night - they're often funded by pharmaceutical companies wanting to sell self-help products.

Thanks again everyone. Glad to know I'm not the only one who struggles with this. I'm going to give audiobooks a go tonight and try to relax.

ASMR videos make me feel really relaxed. Another tip is going through the alphabet, thinking up random words that begin with each letter and focusing on each one. It mimics what your brain does when you are falling asleep, so it can be surprisingly effective.

I listen to audio books too. You can set a sleep timer on audible so you don't have to go back too far if you do manage to fall asleep.
I downloaded the Calm app. Adult sleep stories are great for me too. I've never got to the end of one yet.
There are a couple of free ones on the Calm app and you can find them on YouTube and audible.

Wake up DH for 'intimate' time

I am fortunate that this is rare, but the worst thing for me is being in bed next to someone asleep.
We don;t have a spare room, but if we did, I would go there.

As it is I go downstairs and make a warm drink, and curl up on the sofa with a warm fleece, book, TV anything, but I then fall asleep as not