AIBU - collections at work

[user9153012]

At my workplace we never use to do collections/presents for people unless they were leaving, but in the last 6 months we have had a new manager who has introduced collections for birthdays, new baby, bereavement etc which I have contributed too.
I'm off work at the moment had an operation a month ago, thought I would receive a get well soon card from my colleagues, maybe a bunch of flowers

posted too soon 😬

but I have received nothing. Feeling a bit upset about it. AIBU?

Just stop paying into them. 'Unfortunately, financial constraints mean I can't participate in these anymore.'

...and you didn't get anything? Is that your point? Your OP doesn't say.

It's difficult because these things can be subjective and sometimes it depends on who is doing the collection eg if you had someone on the team who said "let's do a collection for user" or it's on their radar then you might get some flowers otherwise you miss out.

It's probably not fair but I think you just need to decide which collections you want to contribute to.

We have this at our work - though come to think of it, we have had someone off for an op recently, who hasn't had a collection. We usually do it for birthdays, bereavements, new babies, weddings, and sometimes illness (recently someone was diagnosed with cancer and we had a collection for a bunch of flowers)

Yanbu, birthdays are a ridiculous thing to do collections for. Births, deaths, marriages are one thing but birthdays, not a chance

@ElderMillennial

...and you didn't get anything? Is that your point? Your OP doesn't say.

It's difficult because these things can be subjective and sometimes it depends on who is doing the collection eg if you had someone on the team who said "let's do a collection for user" or it's on their radar then you might get some flowers otherwise you miss out.

It's probably not fair but I think you just need to decide which collections you want to contribute to.

they said "but I have received nothing"

they said "but I have received nothing"

Yes in the second post they did. I was already typing my response before that was posted.

@Trinacham

We have this at our work - though come to think of it, we have had someone off for an op recently, who hasn't had a collection. We usually do it for birthdays, bereavements, new babies, weddings, and sometimes illness (recently someone was diagnosed with cancer and we had a collection for a bunch of flowers)

correction - we only do it for 'special' birthdays now. Otherwise it gets a bit ridiculous with 30+ colleagues!

@ElderMillennial

they said "but I have received nothing"

Yes in the second post they did. I was already typing my response before that was posted.

Ah I see

I think it's difficult because someone can often feel short changed in a situation like this. They probably should have done a collection for you OP. I suppose they still could but it would have made sense straight after your op.

I would be upset too, OP. I always gave to collections in my old workplace but they always felt like a popularity contest on the sly... one of my colleagues was beaten and mugged.. had time off to recover. Hardly anyone gave to his collection. Then a few weeks later, one of our supervisors fell over whilst running for a bus and knocked a tooth out. She had flowers, the obligatory basket of fruit.. the whole works.

I hate workplace collections, so much more faff than they're worth. If management deem it important for people to have birthday presents, they should pay for them.

I think it depends on the “etc”
Birthdays, babies and bereavements are “events”. Having an operation... not so much.

Presumably there’s no collection when someone is off sick? How do you decide that someone sick as a dog with flu for 10 days gets nothing, but someone in for a day op having an ingrowing toenails removed gets flowers? Or a vasectomy vs 3 weeks off with depression? Even more of an issue because you can hardly ask about the severity of an op, or sickness.

I can see why an operation would be overlooked.

But as I say - depends on the etc.

Ou, this one happened to me too. Contributed to all big birthdays for a few years at old job, mines came round and I got sweet fuck all, not even a happy birthday in person. I swiftly stopped contributing after that much to the raised eyebrows of a few.

I agree with PP about it being a popularity contest in some ways. Unless your manager starts all the collections then it's probably just down to someone thinking of it and asking people to contribute...

Ive never approved of workplace collections unless the circumstances are exceptional - such as someone very ill in hospital. I worked in a large organization and there was a woman who came around daily rattling her tin. I got launched on my speech about:-

#1 I do not know this person
#2 I think these collections are moral blackmail
#3 not everyone can afford or want to give
#4 its peoples own choice to have a baby, get married, etc

and so on.

The woman in the office who sat next to me had taken out her bag and extracted her purse. Then she put it back and zipped up her bag, saying "I think member is being a bit harsh but I do agree broadly with what she says. There are too many of these collections. I dont have anything against this person but I dont know them so I wont be contributing on this occasion"

There was a glass pane in our office door and the woman who did the collecting used to look to see if I was present before she came in with her collecting tin. She confessed that she waited until I was away on break before she came in.

I definitely think collections can go to far. Where I have worked it’s always been big events - babies, milestone birthdays, marriages, leavers, and sadly deaths. I did have a colleague in a different team where it got out of hand - collections for every birthday in a team of 80 people, and they even collected once because a woman was getting a third grandchild!!

Very sorry you feel let down by your team though OP.

YANBU, I stopped contributing years ago and it's been brilliant.

I've saved hundreds, as I never received anything anyway, not even a card.

Could be that manager doesn’t want to break confidentiality by saying anything about nature of your sick leave? Or that she wants to limit it to celebratory things? Or that someone’s realised how ridiculous all the collections will get?

I don’t like this type of stuff.

Could be that manager doesn’t want to break confidentiality by saying anything about nature of your sick leave? Or that she wants to limit it to celebratory things?

Don't think bereavements are celebratory.

@stackemhigh

Could be that manager doesn’t want to break confidentiality by saying anything about nature of your sick leave? Or that she wants to limit it to celebratory things?

Don't think bereavements are celebratory.

Depends who's died

then it's a more of a release than a bereavement

My old work, close bereavements, leaving and first babies, we done collections for.

Some workplaces have the serial collector. I worked with one.
Always around with an envelope. It's unfair because sometimes people feel that they cannot say no, and maybe they cannot afford to give anything.

Hope you feel better soon, OP. And if it was me, I would say next time an envelope was put in front of me, 'no thanks'.

Where I work they have a no collection gift policy to avoid this kind of thing.
Last month my manager told everyone she was leaving , as per no collection was organised , but I sent a gift to her office ( we work at opposite ends of the country ) as she had been particularly kind to me a few weeks before when I was having a tough time with personal issues .
it was not a expensive gift , but it was a treat that I knew she would like .
I got a ear full of another manager because I had made everyone else look bad as they did not get anything .
Note , he did not have a go because I broke company rules , but that I had made him , ( who is senior to my manager ) look bad .