What's wrong with me?

[HiyaMeAgain]

I feel like I just want to cry, but I'm ok. I mean, works ok, family life is ok, money is ok, everything in general is ok. I just don't get why I feel like this?!

Hand hold. Are you in the uk? It’s not ok here. Covid. Brexit. Winter. How long have you felt like this? How old are you? It’s all a bit shit right now.

@bonzo77

Hand hold. Are you in the uk? It’s not ok here. Covid. Brexit. Winter. How long have you felt like this? How old are you? It’s all a bit shit right now.

Awww, thank you. Yeah, I live in the England. I've been feeling like it for a couple of days, but I honestly have no idea why. It is all a bit shit here just now, but I got over the Covid crap months ago and learned to live with it the way we have been told to. If anything, life got a bit better as I managed to get a job just before Christmas after losing mine back in May last year. Maybe I should just have some chocolate and watch a good weepy film??

Oh, And I'm 44

We all had some wobble weeks now. I am pretty resilient and adjustable person. I cried under a blanket one day after throwing massive anger fit over minor thing.
Haven't cried for years before that!

Me too. I'm sucking the life out of the house with my black cloud. Nothing is really wrong but it's just not right either.

A good cry can be very cathartic, OP! Stress chemicals are partly excreted in tears.
I don’t blame anyone for feeling weepy after the year we’ve just been through. And strangely, it’s often when the stress is over, or almost over, that we crack and have a cry, when we have been holding it together magnificently through all the worst of it.
Perhaps the successful vaccine rollout, and the prospect of easing lockdown in a month or so, has released your feelings a bit?

Same and nothing wrong with a good cry. Hope you feel at peace soon.

I think you might be me, I could have written this 💕💕

@LifeBeginsNow

Me too. I'm sucking the life out of the house with my black cloud. Nothing is really wrong but it's just not right either.

Oh no, I hope the cloud lifts soon for you

Hormones? I have a couple of days a month when I could quite happily just not exist anymore. Happy as Larry the rest of the time.

I'm 44 too. I think it's just that it's February. I always feel like this in Feb, at least it's a short month and spring will be here before we know it. That'll cheer us up. Am going to drag the whole family out for a walk this morning to try clear the fug xx

@Usagi12

I think you might be me, I could have written this 💕💕

It's a weird feeling isn't it? I don't like not knowing why I am feeling like this, Think I am going to have a shower and a cry

Take your time, breathe. Be kind to yourself. And stay self aware. If this continues, ask for help x

@Babdoc

A good cry can be very cathartic, OP! Stress chemicals are partly excreted in tears. I don’t blame anyone for feeling weepy after the year we’ve just been through. And strangely, it’s often when the stress is over, or almost over, that we crack and have a cry, when we have been holding it together magnificently through all the worst of it. Perhaps the successful vaccine rollout, and the prospect of easing lockdown in a month or so, has released your feelings a bit?

Maybe that's what it is, I have been trying to be positive through the shittiest (?!) year ever, that now things are starting to fall in to place, I'm relaxing and my emotions are leaking through?

I also could have written this. I agree with PP that is when the stress is almost over we crack a bit

There's nothing wrong with you. I think most people have hit a wall.

@MrsKFZeeeeee

There's nothing wrong with you. I think most people have hit a wall.

That's probably exactly what it is. A good cry will sort me out, I'm sure.

Nothing wrong OP. I used to be a very positive person who never felt down about anything, always looking for the bright side of things.

Then in April 2020 I started feeling like you describe, for days and days on end. I didn’t understand what was wrong and why I wasn’t feeling ok. Until I realised, it’s ok not to feel ok. It’s ok to feel depressed, to want to cry, hide under a blanket and watch Netflix and eat chocolate all day. Allow yourself to feel like shit, it really helps when you give yourself permission for it. Don’t look for explanations, just let it run through you.

Family and work and money might be okay but this is a very strange time for us all. I think most of us have been very rational about it and counting our blessings which is absolutely the right thing to do, but we also need to allow ourselves to feel low sometimes, and grieve for the things we’d normally be doing by aren’t. Hang in there, it gets better and this won’t last forever.

I've all those things too. Life is a bag of shit right now. Spent most of the past year in the flat and my elderly parents live abroad. Haven't seen them in ages. Things are shit X

I cried last night after seeing an advert where an orang-utan hits a digger destroying its habitat. It really upset me out of nowhere and then was off again this morning when there was a little girl on the news who’s raised enough money to get a prosthetic arm. Anything’s setting me off!

Pretty much everyone I know has hit a wall now / had a wobble. We're all fundamentally ok in terms of career / finances / schools are stepping up but fuck it's hard.

There are plenty of reasons to be feeling this way, OP, and you’re certainly not the only one - I’ve weirdly found the last month or so overwhelmingly difficult, though there’s absolutely no reason why it should have felt worse than any other.

The reason I’ve popped on though is just to say please be aware that it could be hormonal. Women in their mid-forties are often peri-menopausal whether they realise it or not, and so few of us are properly informed about how deeply (and for how long a period of time) it can affect our emotions and mental health. The symptoms overlap with so many other issues (women are often misdiagnosed with depression or anxiety around this time) and we ourselves will often dismiss or minimise these feelings as ‘just one of those things’ and soldier on through without any support.

If you have the time/inclination, please have a look at some of the resources available (Louise Newson, Marilyn Glenville). Whether it’s helpful or not right now, it’s definitely useful information. Hope you feel better soon.

Me too OP. It's been like this since December really. Got through 2020 ok, managed to keep spirits up. But since the last minute change to Christmas restrictions, and the announcement about schools shutting (am in Scotland) I've feay struggled with my mood. Some days are better than others. Right now I feel weepy, useless at everything, full of self loathing. Reaching for food to comfort myself. Keeping up the exercise as it's the only thing that helps.

And like you, I have everything to be grateful for, no real worries.

From replies here and talking to others, I'd say we're very much not alone in this.

Thank you everyone for all your encouraging words.

The weekend has made me feel better, Long walks in the woods with the ddog, and some time with my boyfriend.

Fingers crossed Boris will have positive words this evening.

Hope you all start to feel a bit cheerier soon.