..to think something bad will.happen?

[CovidCraziness]

I am really really really lucky. I have a lovely husband who I adore and two gorgeous children who are our world.

It all seems too perfect and I worry every day it will all come crashing down.

I have never ever met anyone who has not had something bad happen in their life - tragedy/abuse/loss etc... and so I fear all the time something will happen to one of my kids, or my husband or something will happen to make everything come crashing down.

Please tell me my life won't all.come crashing down. That nothing bad will happen to my kids.

Are their families out there where mum and dad have got on well and nothing bad has happened to the kids and everything was all ok? (Do such families exist?)

Anyone?

Yes of course they exist. My mum eg is 61, my dad still alive also 61. No health problems for them or their kids ( me and my brother). I’m 34 and whilst I had two uncles die young ( but to be fair my dad is 1 of 6) and my grandparents except 1 die ( but they were old) , neither my parents nor my generation have ever really experienced hardship. I mean we will all eventually die in old age even if they live a perfect life otherwise up to then but not all of us get ill, have money issues, have accidents etc. You need to enjoy your current position

Bad things happen to me all the time, I'm just an unlucky person. But I know quite a few people where from the outside looking in they have it all, a happy family with healthy happy children and parents who appear very happy and love each other. I don't know if my experience or your experience is the more typical one but try not to stress, everything so far has gone well right? So there is no logical reason to suspect something terrible is about to happen x

Who knows? 50% of marriages end in divorce. Either you, DH or your DC could end up dying or be seriously ill. All you can do is enjoy the now and not worry too much about the future. I hope everything stays perfect for you but life usually throws a few curve balls along the way.

No one can tell you nothing bad will happen. Bad stuff happens to people with near perfect lives all the time.
My kids have lost 3 out of 4 grandparents suddenly in the space of a few years but they have coped and I guess going through stuff like this makes you resilient and makes us stronger in the long run. My second son also saw his friend mowed down and killed by a speeding driver when he was just seventeen. We try to protect our kids as much as we can but ultimately we can't control the actions of others.
If you feel anxious about things maybe some CBT may help. I work on the basis that I have gone through the worst that can happen and survived ( kind of ) and come out stronger and more compassionate for it.

Thanks. I just can't shake the feeling! I had a horrible childhood and never in a million years thought I'd be in the position I am now with a happy family of my own. So scared something will go wrong :(

Thank you LouiseTrees. I hope that's us.

Enjoy life, live each day to the full. No one knows what is round the corner but whatever happens you have your family with you so enjoy every minute xx

Instead of waiting for something bad to happen, try and live in the present and really enjoy each happy moment as it is right now.then if something bad does happen, at least you took time to appreciate the good while it was here.

You’ll just waste your life if you’re constantly worrying something bad is going to happen.

Nobody can predict the future so just enjoy life as it is.

If you had a horrible childhood then you’ve already been through your share of hardship OP. I’m the same, have an amazing husband, baby on the way, lovely house, awesome family, great life. I worry about losing it sometimes, but I remind myself my childhood was so rough that I’ve worked harder to be happy as an adult. Don’t worry about what may be and be happy with what is.

Thanks all

Ah OP bad shit happens to all families - it will (to varying degrees) happen to yours too. It is part of life and you can’t predict it or even insulate yourself to it - but you can build family you want and spend time living in the present to prepare for any shit that may come (that’s basically what we all do as parents)

You do sound very anxious op. No-one can make promises but statistically nothing bad is likely to happen to your children or their dad. Nothing stays the same and life always has ups and downs for everyone. The main thing is to see your GP if anxiety affects your life. Enjoy the little things and appreciate what you have. Accept the fact that nothing lasts forever. Work on coping strategies so that if anything happens, you are able to cope and get through it. Take care.

@Ginevere 'If you had a horrible childhood then you’ve already been through your share of hardship'.
But it doesn't work like that, does it?
Sorry to pick this up, but to be fair, I've had the most shitty luck I could have in life.
I'm divorced after marrying who I thought was the love of my life (clearly he didn't love me as much as I loved him).
Dc1 had an awful autoimmune disease which could have killed them in four months (luckily they were able to get into remission after two and a half years due to very heavy immunosuppressants). They now have another autoimmune disease which is never going to go away, no matter what the treatment.
DC2 has a genetic condition which means they have a lifelong disability. The ramifications of it are far-reaching. (I had no idea I carried the condition, nor did XH.)
The odds of that alone are 1 in 180 billion.
I could go on to talk about many other things in my life that have been truly horrible to deal with (- go figure, where on earth did I do something so terrible that this events of my life should be visited in me or my family?)

All I know is people don't make their own luck, nor is there any logic in what happens in life.
Some people sail through it, and seem to think that the tiniest thing is the end of the world, others have to battle through.

OP, as others have said, enjoy and treasure what you have - it is a very precious thing.

Enjoy the good life OP
We all have those fears, just choose to ignore then

Some 'bad' things are down to interpretation. So one person will say "I was so lucky to have my parents around until I was 40", and someone else "I'm devastated by the loss of my parents at just the time my DC were beginning to get to know them".
My niece, being diagnosed with autism at 19, is delighted that she can "understand so much more about her life now". My friends DS, just being diagnosed at 19 with ADHD, now "realises why his life is, was and will be shit"
I'm not good at explaining things, and I'm not naive enough to know there are some horrible events beyond interpretation such as the example Babyroobs mentions but, from your post, you seem to be good at counting your blessings rather than finding things that aren't quite perfect and, in my experience, people like you are often able to see the way through even the toughest times and emerge stronger.
So my advice is to concentrate on what you are enjoying now, and work on keeping your mental and physical health a priority so you can handle whatever is thrown at you in the future.

Hi Op, I often think the same. I'm very lucky, happily married, healthy children, parents still alive and well, no financial worries etc. I do worry that my good luck will run out, but then I tell myself I can't dwell on what could happen, particularly when it's out of my control. Try not to worry and focus on the here and now.

I used to worry the same thing OP. And unfortunately it did happen to me - my beautiful DH died suddenly at 42. But I'm not saying that to tell you that your gut feeling is right or anything is going to happen to you. I'm here to say that even though my life fell apart in that way, even though the worst thing I could imagine happening happened, I'm still here. I'm okay. I have moments of happiness and joy. Overall, I'm glad I'm alive. Bad things happen. But that doesn't mean your life will be over. It might just be different. And all you can do in the meantime is treasure every day of happiness you have.

@CovidCraziness

Thanks. I just can't shake the feeling! I had a horrible childhood and never in a million years thought I'd be in the position I am now with a happy family of my own. So scared something will go wrong :(

OP you’ve had your bad thing. It’s gone and in the past. But it probably still affects you now. Please try to accept your nice life as something you deserve and there’s absolutely no reason it will be taken from you.

Well, yes, something bad will happen at some point. There will definitely be deaths, for a start, if nothing else.

But try to think through it logically and prepare yourself for those situations. Rather than wasting the times you could be enjoying by worrying about it.

Sometimes the worst does happen, but people are generally very adaptable and they grieve, and move on with their lives, even if it isn't the life they originally imagined.

I've had some very bad experiences, and my life now is still difficult in various ways, but that doesn't mean it will always be this way.

OP we’ve had the most amazing luck. Almost unbelievable really. I sometimes wonder the same thing.

I’m not sure what I believe but I do my utmost to help others (anonymously as much as I can) because I told DH that I think we need to do as much as we can to justify our good luck.

Worrying about this robs joy from today and does nothing to prevent sorrow tomorrow.

Just make sure you are applying common sense to things you can control - exercise, smoking, diet, seatbelts etc (without letting safety concerns suck the joy out of life).

Maybe at some level you think you don’t deserve your good fortune?
Might be worth talking to a counsellor.