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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Working from home has turned my husband into a workaholic

4 replies

Jesscarbqueen87 · 19/02/2021 19:22

Since my husband has started working from home I actually feel like I see less of him than I did when he was working in the office. He just never knows when to call it a day and leave his laptop alone! He’s arranging extra calls with clients which can go on for hours outside of his normal working hours almost every evening plus works overtime every Saturday morning, something he’d never have done before he started working from home because he wouldn’t want to commute back and forth on a weekend. Today he was supposed to finish work at 4pm and he is currently sat in the spare room still on a call with a client.

We have 2 young children, and its crazy because 11 months ago when he started working from home I thought the silver lining in all of this would be that with him not having to commute and being home on his lunch break we would get more time together as a family, and I might get some additional help around the house. That hasn’t happened, and I feel more stressed than ever with childcare, home schooling, housework etc with little to no help from my husband since he’s suddenly become a workaholic. I work part time in the evenings also, and I just feel like I rarely get a break. I’m also missing adult company and conversation a lot, and I’m feeling especially lonely not being able to see family and friends as I’m sure we all are.

I’ve confronted him about it, and he just says he’s trying to make extra cash for our family and he doesn’t get what the problem is. We are not struggling financially, we’re actually pretty comfortable. We have a rainy day fund and his job is actually very secure given the circumstances, so I don’t understand why he feels the need to put in so many extra hours? I feel like working from home has really blurred the lines between work life and home life for my husband and it’s affecting the whole family.

Anyone else experiencing similar?

OP posts:
Marinaloves · 19/02/2021 19:25

I guess I would ask him why he’s so desperate to opt out of family life.

Londonmummy66 · 19/02/2021 19:40

Take the DC in to his office at what ever clocking off time you think is reasonable and leave the house for an hour.

SippingSipsmith · 25/02/2021 11:13

I'm having the same.

Work has been extremely busy and he can't switch off. He's using his commute time to constantly reply to emails. He's never actually present in mind even when he's not working as he's consumed thinking about work.

I've confronted him just from the perspective that it's not healthy for him and then he will go for a walk while he's on a call or something but he doesn't really get it.

My mental health isn't great. I'm at SAHM and life has been turned upside down with homeschooling 2 kids. I feel like there's zero support.

I'd find it a lot easier after pandemic if he had a place near to work during the week and then when he's here he's actually here 100%.

I think the walk from the station used to transition him out of work mode but now he doesn't do that all the lines are blurred.

I'm trying to do my own thing as much as I can from today so I'm not available when he wants me to be. Think that's the issue relationship wise.

Anyway you have my sympathies

TheJerkStore · 25/02/2021 11:18

It's hard from both perspectives. I am so busy at work - much busier than i've ever been and I need to do extra hours just to keep on top of things. DH is the same. It was never like this when we worked in the office.
I think a lot of people are seeing their workloads increase at the moment.

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