to be annoyed? Person offers to do one job but instead does something completely different?

[PandemicAtTheDisco]

AIBU to be annoyed?

The kitchen of an elderly relative needed a quick clean. The washing up needed doing, the surfaces wiped, the microwave wiped down, the bins put out and the floor brushed and mopped.

The elderly relative doesn't cook. They don't use the oven. They warm meals up in the microwave.

A person was supposed to clean the kitchen and instead spent all day just cleaning the oven. The oven was hardly used and looks no different from before. It's been pulled out and the floor underneath it and the sides have been cleaned. The kitchen stinks of oven cleaner.

Guess the sex of the person?

Their sex?
They clearly identify as an Oven Cleaner. Please get them to PM me.

I'd be annoyed too.
But I can't see the relevance of the offender's sex?

Send him back to do the actual job.

I once spent the best part of a day cleaning my oven - and no it didn’t look any better than before either

Oh gods, did you borrow DH for the day?

He nearly brought about his own premature death last time we moved house. I asked him for help with the packing, he alphabetised our CD collection (then sub-divided them by release date where we had more than one album by a particular band).

@Gliblet that made me laugh out loud!!!

But the oven didn't need cleaning!

I did a quick clean up myself and had to force the person to take the bins out because 'they' were tired! They feel very unappreciated.

Countless times men in my life have done this.

My grandfathers, my father, my brothers, my partners, my male friends, my boss, my male colleagues. I have only one female friend who acts like this.

And my ex spent half the day putting out the dvds on moving in day. The whole house needed putting in some sort of order so we could do the basics - wash, eat, sleep etc. but he sorted out the DVDs.

We call it ‘drawer arranging’ in this house after a notorious incident where we were supposed to be doing a quick whizz round before unexpected visitors arrived and my husband decided this would be a great time to rearrange the stuff in the kitchen drawers and literally tipped them out onto the floor in order to start sorting while I ran round like mad.

We've had the kitchen cupboards emptied out everywhere to check if anythings out of date and reorganise them - started in the thirty minutes before family were due to arrive.

We just needed the floor vacced.

DH's single best mate once asked us to come round and help him load the hire van for his house move. We were led to believe everything was boxed and it was just running up and down the driveway with boxes.

We got there to find not a single teaspoon packed and Mate sat reading the old newspapers that meant for wrapping stuff in. Dur.

@Wolfiefan

Their sex? They clearly identify as an Oven Cleaner. Please get them to PM me.

😂 🤣

@thenightsky

DH's single best mate once asked us to come round and help him load the hire van for his house move. We were led to believe everything was boxed and it was just running up and down the driveway with boxes.

We got there to find not a single teaspoon packed and Mate sat reading the old newspapers that meant for wrapping stuff in. Dur.

Ah, now. One of my single female friends did something very similar - told us most of her stuff had gone and there were 'a few bits in bags' left.

We have a large 4x4 and it took 5 trips with the back seats flat, absolutely stuffed, houseplants poking out of windows to get the 'few bits' to her new place. Then the dippy mare realised she'd forgotten a bookcase

Gliblet, VisitingtheInfidel

I don't know whether to laugh or cry at those stories!
I'm in awe at both of your restraint in not killing them 🤣

My exh spent most of a whole day building a rabbit hutch in the garden once, while I did all the housework and sorted the kids.
We didn't even have a rabbit.

Guess the sex of the person?

🙄

I no longer allow DH unsupervised access to the garden if he has secateurs in his hand. Not since the time I asked him to cut back all the ivy on the fence, and he left the ivy and butchered my beautiful camellia to within an inch of its life instead.

We had friends coming for dinner one Saturday and I was prepping a three course meal and running out of time. I asked H to have a tidy up. He went and mowed the lawn and was hurt when I had a go at him because it was "tidying the garden". It was going too be dark before the guests arrived and they wouldn't even see the bloody garden!

This is infuriating. These (mainly) men are not stupid. They often hold down good jobs, lead teams and make significant decisions. You wouldn’t catch them in a month of Sundays deciding to clean out a filing cabinet half an hour before a board meeting. They are telling you that they think they are too good for domestic chores and that you should do it because that is women’s work and they are the menz who only do IMPORTANT STUFF. It is a classical avoidance technique, and they know exactly what they’re doing.

They often hold down good jobs, lead teams and make significant decisions. You wouldn’t catch them in a month of Sundays deciding to clean out a filing cabinet half an hour before a board meeting.

I've often wondered about this. Like you say the behaviour at home is likely to be deliberate but I think it's also possible that we credit them with undeserved professional competence because of the jobs they hold down; perhaps they're not as efficient work wise as we're lead to believe.

cantgetmyheadroundit
I literally snorted at your comment. I'd have lived to have been a fly on the wall as he justified that priority.

Me and DH have a BBQ row every.fucking.time. I say 'right we need to hoover, sort bathrooms, clean towels and loo rolls out, lounge tidied and dusted, kitchen sides clean, pots away'.

Invariably I do all the above while he fucks about tidying his pants drawer. Then he comes downstairs, decides that it's a great idea to jetwash the decking, clean the BBQ by dumping the racks and tools in the (clean) kitchen, treads bbq dust and dirty water all over the (clean) floors and through the house AND dump a fucking billionty bread rolls, doritos and soft drinks on the kitchen sides where I prepare the salad/dips etc.

Every.Fucking.Time.

Also why do they start fucking about doing random shit 20 mins before you are due to go on holiday?

There has got to be some reason for all this. Some shortwiring in the brain.

@SoupDragon

Guess the sex of the person?

🙄

Oh God- my own husband!

We had visitors coming unexpectedly so did the typical mad dash round to make the place look presentable. Or at least I did - dh sat and organised his underwear drawer.

It's just bog standard feigned in competence strategy used for the purposes of avoiding things they don't fancy doing
You can always do the same and just drop the things that annoy you 🤷🏼‍♀️