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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

What chores do your DC do?

45 replies

UndertheCedartree · 19/02/2021 14:35

Interested to see what is normal. My DC are 13 and 8 and they aren't great at chores. My DS (13) is naturally much tidier than his DS - he doesn't make loads of mess and likes keeping his belongings organised and tidy. He is terrible with clothes being everywhere and leaving glasses/ mugs in his room, though. If I ask him to do something he will do it with no fuss. The 8yo is a whirlwind of mess. Clothes and toys everywhere in her room. Arts and crafts mess and more toys downstairs. She has to be reminded to take her plate to the kitchen/ throw away her yogurt pot etc. She is not good at tidying atall. If I ask her to do something she will try to wriggle out of it or only does a half-hearted job.

My expectations right now are:
DS - keep room tidy, unload dishwasher every morning, put a load of his washing on every week.
DD - keep room tidy, put the dinner plates etc in the dishwasher, bring her laundry bag down once a week for me to wash.
Then I expect them to do ad-hoc jobs as and when I ask. DS will cook at least once a week and takes his DS to school one day a week too (pre-lockdown)
I don't think it's that much but they struggle to achieve this.

What do your DC do?

OP posts:

YouCantBeSadHoldingACupcake · 19/02/2021 16:01

Dc are expected to bring down their laundry once a week, keep their own rooms reasonably tidy, clear up the dining room/ play room before dinner, clear their own plates /cups from the table, and dd1(14) has just started cooking dinner once a week

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 19/02/2021 16:05

@Neotraditional

None, I wanted them to just enjoy being children and not do housework. They are adults now and can manage perfectly well with cooking/cleaning before anyone says this will leave them helpless.

We have gone the same route, they know how to do things so will function perfectly fine as adults but they have years of adulthood ahead of them that will include housework so I can them to enjoy the time they have with no responsibilities and just concentrate on their studies. I just expect them to keep rooms tidy so that it’s easier to just go in and clean them.

MercifulM · 19/02/2021 16:08

DS (16)

keeps his bedroom tidy and does quick vacuum/cleans of it (I do deeper cleans)
quick swish/swipe type clean of the bathroom (he exclusively uses)(I do deeper cleans)
Brings laundry down and separates into whites/darks etc for washing and then puts it away when clean
Might occasionally put the bin out or similar if I ask him if I ask him to
Cooks for himself/the family 1-3 times a week (he enjoys this)
Usually makes his own breakfast and lunch

He was a nightmare at keeping his bedroom tidy until he was c.13/14 and then suddenly...not a problem any more.
Likewise with cooking - suddenly took an interest from almost nothing when approaching 16

When younger he used to vacuum the whole house (but that was because he enjoyed it - seems to have lost interest in that now!).

Nohomemadecandles · 19/02/2021 16:12

If mine weren't whipping through with a hoover for 5 mins, they definitely wouldn't be studying either!
I'm not sure it's an either/or scenario.

TheFoz · 19/02/2021 16:25

My 12 year old occasionally puts laundry on the clothes horse and takes off and folds when dry. She will also put on a wash.
Weekly she cleans bathroom sinks, mirrors and bleaches the toilets. Weekly she puts together the socks that have been in the dryer along with underwear and distributes them to everyone’s rooms.
She has to be reminded constantly to tidy her room and bring her laundry down. Her room is a kip usually, everything gets dropped on the floor.
She will put her dishes in the dishwasher unless she sees that nobody else is doing it then she’ll leave it at the side.
My step sons are another breed altogether. They are 10 and 12 and constantly have to be reminded to do the most basic of chores such as picking up after themselves.

Shinesun14 · 19/02/2021 16:32

Dd 15 and ds 13 wash up once every four days (me and DH also take a turn each). They also have to keep their room tidy and change their beds. Dss 7 wipes the table after tea and will be on the washing up rota when he's old enough. He's also expected to tidy up after himself.

Me and DH do the rest but dc are expected to help with any chore we ask them to do. Pocket money is related to behaviour and chores.

Indoctro · 19/02/2021 16:33

My 4 year old pairs socks for me.

My 6 year old will hoover sometimes after dinner.
My husband gets them to do a lot of bits on bobs for pennies (£1) so they learn to save.

firstimemamma · 19/02/2021 16:38

My toddler helps tidy up and washes the veg when it's time to cook. As he gets older we'll be getting him to wash up, hoover, make his bed. All the stuff his dad did growing up.

cooperage · 19/02/2021 16:39

14yo does the recycling, walks the dog once a day, puts his dishes in the dishwasher, puts washing away and cleans his room and bathroom every week.

He'll do other jobs on request but isn't one for volunteering, even when he has absolutely nothing to do... we're still working on the concept of random acts of kindness...

Original poster

UndertheCedartree · 19/02/2021 17:18

Quite mixed, really from no chores to quite a lot.
It reminds me that my 2 feed the cats too. The eldest puts his clean clothes away and helps me with bins for our collection day. Maybe they're not so bad after all!

OP posts:

MissBaskinIfYoureNasty · 19/02/2021 17:20

8 and 5 yo keep rooms tidy and put their clean laundry away. They don't get paid for it, I want to establish that expectation of them chipping in to keep their environment nice.

Original poster

UndertheCedartree · 19/02/2021 17:21

Eldest makes his own breakfast/lunch/:snacks most of the time and will make for his DS too - youngest will get breakfast/snacks with some encouragement (i.e you're perfectly capable of pouring yourself a bowl of cereal!)

OP posts:

MissBaskinIfYoureNasty · 19/02/2021 17:22

Oh and 8 yo hoovers the stairs a couple of times a week. He decided that was one of his jobs.

Original poster

UndertheCedartree · 19/02/2021 17:22

@MercifulM - would love it if DD would suddenly become tidy!!

OP posts:

MaryShelley1818 · 19/02/2021 17:32

DS tidies his toys away, puts rubbish in the bin, put his plate and cup in the sink when finished, and will do little tasks like fetching stuff. He's 3yrs old.

DD does nothing but to be fair she's only 2 weeks old.

Neotraditional · 19/02/2021 17:33

@UndertheCedartree

Quite mixed, really from no chores to quite a lot. It reminds me that my 2 feed the cats too. The eldest puts his clean clothes away and helps me with bins for our collection day. Maybe they're not so bad after all!

Your children sound great!

needadvice54321 · 19/02/2021 17:45

Two DS's aged 12 and 17

No set chores, I just expect them to help when asked (with minimal moaning). Non of it is heavy duty stuff - cooking the odd dinner, sticking a load in the washer etc

I expect DS1 to pull up his sleeves a bit more, he's going to have to stand on his own two feet next year once he's at Uni - won't have mummy there picking up his pants

needadvice54321 · 19/02/2021 17:46

@needadvice54321

Two DS's aged 12 and 17

No set chores, I just expect them to help when asked (with minimal moaning). Non of it is heavy duty stuff - cooking the odd dinner, sticking a load in the washer etc

I expect DS1 to pull up his sleeves a bit more, he's going to have to stand on his own two feet next year once he's at Uni - won't have mummy there picking up his pants

Pocket money wise - DS1 gets £15 a week. DS2 doesn't get anything set but I'll give him money if he goes out to meet mates. I'd hoped to not be doing PM so much with DS1 now but he's struggling to find a part time job in the current climate

cookiemon666 · 19/02/2021 18:49

My 18 year old does his own washing and cooking as he very fussy
My 15 year old does the majority of her washing, helps cook dinner, tidies her room and puts recycling once a week
My 13 year old does his washing, keeps his room tidy, washes my car, and puts rubbish out fortnightly. He also cleaned the hob today-I paid him gaming money for that
They also have to hoover the landing and stairs because I cant

RoseMartha · 19/02/2021 18:59

Your DS does more than my 13 year old DD. Who empties dishwasher once a week. Takes plates etc to kitchen after being asked numerous times. Puts clean underwear in drawer but not until it has been on her floor for about a week. Will put soiled underwear from period to soak if water and detergent already in a bowl.

Doesnt pick up clothes, currently has pile on bedroom floor which I refuse to sort and put in laundry basket etc.

If she doesnt pick up clothes from lounge or bathroom I stick them on her bedroom pile as it is her job to decide if it needs washing.

I had hoped she would strip her bedding but wont do that. Also wont hold bin bag open if I need the double bag if there is a split in bag.

Thinks she does enough and feels hard done by.

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