Integrated school in NI with Christian ethos - fair enough - but is this teachers comment a bit much?

[tullytwo]

Ds's go to an Integrated school in NI. I am from here but grew up overseas and finished my schooling here and dp grew up here.

Both of us wanted to put them in an integrated school - neither of us are christened and dp grew up with very religious parents and I grew up with no religious input at all.

We have accepted that the school has a christian ethos and that they do religious ceremonies (harvest festival etc) but also incorporate learning about other religions.

I wouldnt say I was particularly anti-religious I just dont believe in any of it - full stop!

Anyway ds2 (6) turned to ds1 (10) the other day and informed him that they have another dad and when I pushed him he said that his teacher had told them all that God was their second father!

I do find this a bit much and wonder if it his her personal opinion voicing this rather than school based. I think it is actually quite a confusing statement to make to little ones.

Normally on religious matters I juat say that htey can believe what they want to but that I just dont - their dad does - so I feel they get a balance.

So AIBU to be a bit p*ed off with this teacher and should I say something or just suck it up? (Told ds2 she was speaking a load of rubbish - that you have one dad and thats it!)

I would say so,ething as that can be confusing for a 6 year old. Having been to Catholic schools all my school days have never heard God being descrobed as my second father.

You have no idea how it was phrased though tbh.

If it was "You have 2 dads - God is one of them", then fair enough.

But....

"Our father, who art in heaven...."
"My dad's at work, not heaven!"
"We see God as father to us all, a second father..."

See? The first odd and misleading, the second perfectly acceptable in a Christian school.

God is not just male anyway!

there is another thread at the moment discussing whether schools should be made secular for this kind of reason. I guess you might just have to go with the 'well some people believe that...' approach.

(My phrasing was all completely fictional btw - I'm pagan and have both sexes!!!! )

I think both are wrong tbh - I relly dont like that concept as god as a father figure - a higher power and all if you believe is fair enough and its not a Christian school per se but one with a christian ethos and as far as I was aware nothing like this was supposed to come into it - i.e they dont have mandatory RE classes etc.

I just get the feeling this is her view - she looks like one of those buttoned up virginal types!

God is the heavenly father; dad is the earthly father.

You could go the route of 'some people believe...'

tully, you send your children to a school with a christian ethos.
You can't pick and choose which "concepts" you want them to talk about.

I would clarify exactly what the teacher said about God being a second father, and then decide whether to challenge the teacher based on the exact details.

I am well aware that I cant pick and choose the concepts and I made an informed decision to send them there - not that there is much choice over here otherwise.

I do however have an issue with a very confusing statement that to me does nothing to further inform children - it is just a faffy statement to me that could be phrased ocmpletely differently.

Ds2 has already been through the school and never had that said to him either.

The statement was "You have 2 fathers. God is your second father".

You'd better make an appointment to speak to the teacher then, and make your feelings clear.

Informing your child that the teacher was "speaking a load of rubbish" isn't conducive to a great home/school relationship, or helpful in fostering respect for the school staff.

you know nothing about the context for this comment. Don't you think that might be important?

If you had read my op you would see that I never ususally say that the teacher is talking rubbish as I am well aware he needs to have a good realtionship with her regardless of how I feel @ her but I felt that this was a step too far.

However I dont think you should blindly tell your children to think that their teachers know everything - they need to be informed by other things as well and make their own minds up.

Pointydog I find your comment really offensive and patronising - the context to me is irrelevant - it is a misleading and potentially damaging statement.

I have found your posts and TheWobblyGoddess's posts very defensive for some reason. I am not sitting here dissing religion - simply saying that I think the teacher shouldnt have said that specific comment.

What do you think the teacher should have said?

Absolutely nothing - why?

It sounds like there is some background to why the teacher was talking about it in the first place.

Its a completely unneccessary statement to me regardless - it is not a fact it is a personal belief and therefore to me has no place in a classroom.

My dp who was schooled here and had v religious parents has never heard of that expression being used.

What topic where they studying at the time?

tully, to say you found my comment really offensive and patronising is rather extreme. I said you should find out the context - fair enough if you don't agree with me but I was hardly being offensive and patronising.

Go and speak politely to the teacher instead of snapping at people here.

And I possibly am being defensive because teachers often get it in the neck for the slightest thing. Possibly, the teacher was making a stark religious statement but all sorts of questions and discussions take place in the classroom and to only take out one sentence without any sort of context is meaningless.

I agree. Find out what was actually said and in what context. Please don't tell your child the teacher was talking rubbish. Of course it's fine to say some people believe this and others believe that etc though.

I'm in NI and send my children to integrated schools..maybe the very same one!!!! I think my childrens school and the teachers are fabulous.
I wouldn't worry about that myself unless the child seemed confused or upset.
You could just explain that it's not what you believe, to give your children another view.

ROFL at the OP accusing the posts by Pointydog and myself as being defensive!

The words 'pot' 'kettle' and 'black' spring to mind.

"If you had read my op".

I did.

And you asked whether you should say something or just suck it up.

I originally suggested you should speak to the teacher.

But ................

And I wouldn't be a teacher for all the tea in China.