Loss of autonomy during Covid

[cripez]

Is anyone else struggling with this? Silly question.

The sort of things I'm struggling with are so tiny. For example if I lie down on the sofa for half an hour the husband will walk past and comment on it. Or if I go to the loo upstairs and shut the door because I'm sick of children following me around I'll hear my husband say 'Are you alright?'

When he was out at work I could do these sorts of things without them being seen or commented on, and I felt much calmer and happier.

I just feel like I'm in a fish bowl all the time now and I hate it. I just want to go for a poo without anyone bloody noticing it!

Everytime I come down the stairs from my study, my husband opens his study door to see what I'm doing. It's driving me bonkers!!

He's not controlling, just bored 🤣

So yes, I feel your pain!

God, that would drive me mad. When you say he comments on you sitting in the sofa, what do you mean?

Yes the only thing I've been able to do is shipping trips, and running out the door before anyone suggests they come too.

So if I have a bad nights sleep he will say something like 'Well you had that sofa nap yesterday' (as IF I get to sleep with two small kids around)

YES. I had a meltdown yesterday when I couldn't be by myself for even five minutes without DH or kids coming to find me to see what I was doing. I get that they're bored but I just need some space!

Yes and I don’t have a DH! The kids comment constantly, my family dictate what is and isn’t “safe”, the government tell me the rest!

Drives me mad so adding a partner doing what he’s doing to that and I feel for you 😃

Yes, this! I'm longing for the day I can have the house to myself again.

Yes it’s very very claustrophobic.

Also I cannot go toilet with out a child seeking me out as they literally have a ‘sitting’ audience.

I miss Wfh by myself.
Prior to lockdown, I Wfh one day a week and in the office the rest.

That one day was bliss. One coffee cup, one plate for my lunch.

Now, with two teens and DH at home our kitchen is like Al's Diner.

I have so much I want to do but feel like I need everyone out of the house so I can do it. It’s weird because I don’t actually need an empty house to clear out a room but I feel like I need the headspace to just get on. I don’t quite know why I feel like that but I definitely do!! Also YES to perceived judgement for relaxing! Sometimes I can be up really early, get loads done then someone I know will knock on the door and comment “still in your pjs?” Drives me loopy!!

Husband just told me he's going for a shower. I lost it and shouted 'JUST HAVE ONE, YOU DON'T NEED TO TELL ME ABOUT IT'

I hear you. Luckily DH works out of the house but only part time. If he's home before I take a lunch break he insists on coming for a walk with me and gets upset when I say no! Him and the kids totally ignore the fact I'm in meetings and come and ask useless questions CONSTANTLY.

@cripez

Husband just told me he's going for a shower. I lost it and shouted 'JUST HAVE ONE, YOU DON'T NEED TO TELL ME ABOUT IT'

Oh my god this! It's driving me insane.

I've told him so many times I don't need to know the minutae of what he's doing. I don't care if he's fine to have a shower, brush his teeth, call his mum whatever. Just bloody get on with it!!!!

My H is back to work after a period off sick and I love it

I work out of the home PT and I love my days off by myself

I hate the mess from having 3 people in the house all day every day, stuff in the living room that never used to be there and competing for space to cook in the kitchen at meal times as adult DD prefers to cook for herself than what me and younger DD are having. We always announce if we are getting a shower though, this is because if you run any taps in any other part of the house at the same time the shower goes cold, so it's more of an announcement to not run a tap for 15 mins or so.

I would kill for an hour alone in and empty house. I'm still going into work and my job is not only busy and made more stressful by covid but it also involves me talking and listening non-stop all day. Sometimes when I get home I just sit in my car on the drive and stare into space for a few moments, not really wanting to get out because I know as soon as I walk in the house the toddler will be physically all over me, the older DC prattling on incessantly about some godawful Youtuber and DH wanting adult conversation because he's been WFH so stuck in the house and not seeing anyone. I love them all dearly but my god, I feel like the walls are closing in.