To think 4 month dd isnt having enough sleep?

[Peppery123]

My 4 month has slept terribly since newborn really..Im going out of mind as I have two previous dd that slept with no problems...never had to incorporate a routine or try different things.
In actual fact with this dd ive spent in excess about 500 pounds on different types of swaddles, grobags, sleepyhead pods, a nap nap mat, white noise machines etc. Shes only 4 months!!!
Im worried now she hardly naps which is probably affecting her night sleep? Im no expert buy I do remember previous dds having good naps in yhe day must have been an hour plus as I managed yo do housework, cook, workouts.
She doesnt sleep without some form of rocking, white noise, or holding her hand..she thrashes around for awhile or moans n when sue does finally get to sleep its only in excess of 20-35 mins! Been recording her naps on huckleberry shes never gone longer than 45 mins!! Is this normal? Do they not grow out of this?
On a side nite my HV has been rubbish and just ignores my messages/calls. Just in a desperate situation and very sleep deprived

Hi. You have my sympathy as my baby was similar. He needed to be rocked to sleep which could take a very long time, and then held whilst he slept. In the end I just embraced it and made sure that I had snacks and the tv remote! However I know it isn't that easy when you have other children. Have you tried a carrier / sling? That was the only way that I could get things done.

Eventually we were able to put him down for naps and his naps gradually got longer. It just took time.

Gina Ford. Don’t follow the toast thing. Do my Gina Ford “lite” I did. Follow the nap and feeding times

When I look back at photos and videos of him now it breaks my heart as he looks so so tired. But it wasn't like we were stopping him from sleeping, he just wouldn't unless very specific conditions were met! It's so hard and has really put us off having another baby which is sad as I'd love for him to have a sibling.

@sneakypetesgrandmaisace

Aw so sorry to hear this you have my deppest sympathy as I also noticed she looks knackered and can be very grizzly. Do u remmeber how long it took for yours to start napping longer?

Sounds exactly like my DD at that age and many more that I know through forums, charting on here, IRL.

At some point it all just clicked.

@hellolittlebaby

Thanks. Do u remember when? Like 6 months or way after?

Between 4-5 months. Between 3-4 months, I'd put her in the pushchair and sit and rock it with my feet to get her to sleep. (Inside) or I'd walk with her outside to get her to nap.

She would fight it and be angry at first, but I'd sing to her and eventually she'd go. (I used to BF her to sleep but that would make her angry too!)

Then i helped her connect naps at the 45 min mark, I'd see her moving and start rocking it til she just went back off.

At some point she just started connecting the naps herself. Then it gradually got even better, sleeping for longer stretches etc.

You're probably in the 4 month sleep regression stage now? I found it got worse, peaked at an all time awful night or two, then got better slowly. I found the following sleep regressions like that too.

My third was the same. My first two were brilliant but he was terrible. Same as you, it would take ages to get him to sleep and then he'd nap for 20 mins max and then up a lot in the night. He was also permanently grumpy and I'm sure it's because he was tired. I broke at about 6 months and we sleep trained. Once he learnt to settle himself in his cot, he slept for longer and then slept better at night. He is now 1, he goes down for a nap at bedtime and nap time in his cot awake and settles himself. The first night months were tough and I felt I never got a break! Hope your little one improves.

[quote Peppery123]@sneakypetesgrandmaisace

Aw so sorry to hear this you have my deppest sympathy as I also noticed she looks knackered and can be very grizzly. Do u remmeber how long it took for yours to start napping longer?[/quote]
It was significantly better at 6 months and has mostly continued to improve with some setbacks and the occasional bad night.

We did do some sleep training but it's hard to know if it was that which helped, or if he just learnt to self settle a bit better with age.

@hellolittlebaby
Thank you so much.
Tbh I dont know when this sleep regressipn started as shes always been a terrible sleeper. I am so paranoid that I may have medicated her for no reason. She had crying bouts n I kept going to the gp who prescribed omperazole for ST. Howeever, i dont actually think she has this i now think its to do with her lack of sleep..so this is why its so bad. Im hoping it gets better now thanks

@Sarah180818
Omg could it be something to do with the third? Maternal age? I dunno im desp for answers! My first two were bliss. I keep thinking I did something wrong whilst pregnant. She was an Oopsie baby and I was at the time doing a strict exercise regime..I carried on with the high intensity workouts all the way through the pregnancy..I dunno if it could be that?
I will try my hardest to persevere with getting the naps down its just so hard as I have a toddler whos being rejected :(

My first was like this. I think, with hindsight, he had some sort of digestive issues and chronic wind. HVs and GPS all said it was completely normal for a newborn to not sleep except for 20min stints and wake up crying in obvious discomfort. Always took hours to get him to sleep too. What I found worked was make sure baby is thoroughly winded and don't let them fall asleep feeding. I think I had quite a forceful let down when breastfeeding so I would express into a muslin prior to feeding. Ds2 had a dummy from birth and I had him sleep on his side propped with towels. I followed the EASY routine eat, activity (no more than 30mins before they get overtired) sleep, you. Ds1 was probably over stimulated too, whereas ds2 was left in a bouncer while I sorted his 2yo brother, then I would find he had fallen asleep watching us.
Both had colic which is where they cry in pain from 5pm til 9pm every night for a few months. Sleep didn't really get better until he was weaned at 14mo and then he magically had a 2-3hr nap in the afternoon. It was bliss. Ds1 slept through the night from about age 3. Ds2 was an easier baby but that was because I knew what to expect.

My son was three when my my third was born and I was home schooling an 8 year old as it was during the first lockdown. Definitely one of the hardest times of my life! We used to have to pace round the kitchen cuddling him to get him to sleep and then he'd do 20 mins max. There is light though. Now he's 1 and naps for 2 hours. Sleep training was the best thing we ever did.

@Sarah180818
Wow my eldest us 13 so i have a teen, toddler and newborn which is why its so stress atm
Can I ask what sleep training method you used? X

@YoComoManzanas
Sounds so difficult. I dont think my dd had colic as her crying bouts were all random some in the morning then some around 5pm but figured she really wants an early sleeptime..she doesnt go down no later than 7pm. Will sleep for four hours then up again. She always seems to be yawning as well..really have no idea what to do

Sounds like you're in the middle of 4momth sleep regression.

Try Lucy Wolfes book. She saved my sanity. Her Instagram TV videos are quite good too sometimes and free.

OP, honestly you haven’t done anything wrong. I think some babies are just like this. I have friends that had one great sleeper followed by a terrible one & vice versa. My daughter was the same, never napped for longer than 40 minutes until she was over a year old. She wasn’t great at night either but the naps were the hardest. We sleep trained at around 1 year old & she improved a lot & slept better. Since she became a toddler she hasn’t been brilliant & Ive realised that she just seems to need less sleep than other children her age. Part of the reason I don’t think I can face having another to be honest! But it does improve I promise. I feel for you, it’s hard!

Thank you
Youre right think she us just a terrible sleeper. Wish I knew the reasonings. Weve been good sleepers when babies (dh and I) and two very good dds.
I dunno if its the 4 month regression as her sleep has always been bad

Some babies just don't like sleep. My eldest was like this, didn't like sleep and dropped naps completely at 13 months. Still didn't sleep through until 4 😱 I have photos of her as a baby looking so tired. She was the definition of a high needs baby and we just had to wait it out. Feel your pain!