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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Sandra superstore

18 replies

Anonymousft123 · 17/02/2021 21:27

I’m finding it uncomfortable watching this series sometimes but overall really like it, tonight it clicked why - I think I’m like Sandra. I found myself forwarding a part with her in today and I realised it upsets me as I feel I’m just like her. I feel people ignore my ideas all the time. I feel I’m being spoken to really nastily but I usually end up apologising! I’ve had some really toxic people in my life over the years and always thought it was me not them. Maybe it was me all along and I need to stand up to people more.

Please if you watch the show tell me what you think she is like and how you would start making changes if you were her.

OP posts:
rawlikesushi · 17/02/2021 21:31

I love this show and also see elements of Sandra in myself.

I think that the only way people will begin to take her seriously is if she starts demanding that they do.

Speaking up and saying her ideas with confidence.

Calling people out if they speak to her rudely or unkindly.

Being assertive about what she wants - or doesn't want - and not caring what people think about that.

I guess she is, in essence, a people pleaser. She wants everyone to like her. But do they? No. They laugh at her for being pathetic.

Anonymousft123 · 17/02/2021 21:38

Calling people out if they speak to her rudely or unkindly.

Thank you @rawlikesushi yes I am definitely a people pleaser. Can I just run something by you - previous times I have stood up for myself, let’s use Inlaws as an example, I’ve been told numerous times I’m too sensitive and I need to chill out. I often feel people respond negatively when I have tried to call them out for their rudeness.

OP posts:
IsThisNews · 17/02/2021 21:47

If I were like Sandra, I would try to get someone like Dina on my side.

rawlikesushi · 17/02/2021 22:02

"I’ve been told numerous times I’m too sensitive and I need to chill out. I often feel people respond negatively when I have tried to call them out for their rudeness."

But assertive people wouldn't care about that would they? They'd know that they were right to point out the rudeness, that the other person was in the wrong, and not give a shit that they responded negatively.

Whereas you or I would probably backtrack, doubt ourselves, end up apologising!

Ultimately people would be shocked if you suddenly started standing up for yourself. They'd bluster and defend themselves and try to make you doubt yourself. But over time, once the new you was here to stay and they were called out every time they did it, they'd think twice.

CSIblonde · 17/02/2021 22:25

She's too nice so gets walked all over . That used to be me. Being assertive isn't aggressive( I used to think it was). As an aside, Glen should still be manager, he and Dina's bits were comedy gold. I guess America Ferreira wanted a bigger role. I feel sorry they've reduced him to an odd line here & there.

seaclaidte · 17/02/2021 23:16

Hang in there.

Sandra gets some lovely storylines.

Anonymousft123 · 17/02/2021 23:20

Thank you everyone! Yes it’s difficult trying not to backtrack. I feel like an idiot when I end up apologising for others mistreatment of me! I changed my name for this. I feel throughout my life I’ve let people walk over me so when I do stand up for myself I feel the anger bubbling up. Each little thing on its own doesn’t seem like much but everything together is tough dealing with. I need to stop changing my username so I could at least refer back to x y z post but I defo need to work on my assertiveness abs deal with all the A holes I’ve gathered in my life.

OP posts:
Alexandra2018 · 17/02/2021 23:22

I've finished season 5 I love Sandra. But do feel sorry for her. Agree with a previous poster saying get a Dina! But the only way is to start saying NO

StarsShiningUpAboveYou · 17/02/2021 23:51

She is always apologising which is sad as she feels she needs to say sorry just for talking.

StarsShiningUpAboveYou · 17/02/2021 23:52

@StarsShiningUpAboveYou

She is always apologising which is sad as she feels she needs to say sorry just for talking.
By the way, I'm only on season 2!
AdamDriversApple · 18/02/2021 00:12

Sandra gets some lovely stories. I do love when she finally sticks up for herself. She's one of my fav characters. My least fav being jonah and Amy.

NotMyPremium · 18/02/2021 03:02

DS and I are on season 2. We love Sandra and are always sympathising with her. Especially when she said she was a qualified midwife when the pregnant teen (damn, forgot her name) went into labour.

No advice but RL Sandra's are definitely fab.

ElderMillennial · 21/02/2021 13:37

I think the characters are meant to be relatable

There are probably bits of all / most of them we can recognise in ourselves

JesusHRooseveltChristAgain · 21/02/2021 13:44

I love Sandra, although there were times I got so frustrated with her because she was such a push over. But I think she's a lovely person and just needs a bit of confidence in herself.

Borntohula · 21/02/2021 14:08

Prefer her to Carol...

Banoffeepies · 21/02/2021 14:16

Behind Garret and Dina Sandra is the favourite in this house Smile.

ElderMillennial · 21/02/2021 14:57

I'm currently watching since I started binge watching it from the start a week or so ago.

I'm on season 5 now...

Sandra has grown on me as has Dina. Not a fan of Carol but I think that's the point.

Amy can be annoying but again think she's meant to be?

OfaFrenchmind2 · 21/02/2021 18:17

I like Sandra. It would be easy to feel pity for her, as she is wet almost all the time, but I like that she can be assertive when she really decides to get going (Union).
I find her relationship with her 17yo adoptive son quite sweet.

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