Anyone still got toddlers/preschool at home? When are you sending them back?

[whentosend]

My son is now just 3. I took him out of nursery a year ago when he was just 2.

He used to do one day a week and settled fine despite what many people think about doing just one day a week.

I would really like him to go back now, for lots of reasons, main one being socialisation now it's actually important for his age etc.

Anyone else in the same position? When are you thinking it's ok to send them back?

My son's preschool has been closed since mid December. The first lockdown wasn't so bad for him as he was only just 3. Now he's almost 4, desperately needs more socialisation and stimulation than we can provide at home with shit weather, full time jobs and an older sister with a busy homeschool schedule, and he has massively regressed. His behaviour has deteriorated, he is unbelievably clingy and nervous. He needs to be out amongst his peers. So damn right he'll be back at preschool when it opens. And I say that as someone who has stringently followed the rules, not seen their own family in almost a year, and didn't see FIL for most of the year before Covid killed him (caught from a carer not rule breaking, he was totally housebound).

@Rowenasemolina

Nobody should be using a nursery unless they absolutely have to.

Lock down. Pandemic. Haven’t you noticed?

My daughter works in a local nursery. She was completely prepared to risk her health and her life to provide an emergency child care setting for key workers, or parents in an emergency situation

She was left devastated by the parents who were simply using the nursery for personal convenience. All the staff were.

Many of them resigned, including my daughter. The nursery closed to everyone.

Now there is talk of reopening it, with vaccinated staff. All the staff who resigned have been contacted and offered the vaccine. My daughter is now likely to take her job back, but it will be several months still. Before enough staff have had two vaccines, and even then, it might not happen. There’s bankruptcy procedings to go through, it all has to be a new business, with a new owner , and all previous debts written off. Etc.

All because of the selfish parents shoving their children into a child are setting during a pandemic without genuine reasons.

My daughter is young guy and healthy, but has young guy and healthy friends who have been left disabled by Covid and she was not prepared to be put at risk for no reason.

We live in quite a small community. A London duvets, but centred around one street. It’s well known which parents did this. I don’t think they will be accepted back onto the books if any local nursery

what a load of utter rubbish! Nurseries are open and have been since last summer (I think?) And parents are entitled to follow the rules and use them if they think it is best for their personal situation. Your community seemed filled with hateful judgmental people. Do they check where others are going for walks or how often and where they go to shop? Seriously people need to give their head a wobble. My son was home with us from March (whenever lockdown happened) until September. His nursery closed incl for key workers children and only re opened in July. By then my youngest was born and it wasn't the right time for my son to go back to nursery. He went back in September (30hours a week, he'll be 4yrs old in March) and he is doing great. He could be at home as I'm on mat leave but it would be a struggle for everyone, for my husband working from home, my older ones home schooling atm, and for me managing him and a baby. He goes to nursery 3 days a week term time and it works great for everyone and mostly: he loves it!! He's going to to school in September, it would have been madness (for us) to keep him home all that time. He struggled during the first lockdown without a routine and it wasn't easy to readjust to nursery so on this lockdown I was fully prepared to rely on my husband's key worker's status if needed to be able to take him to nursery (we've not done that so far, for him or the girls, as husband can work from home). The nursery has been fantastic and they are very happy to have parents sending their kids there. The staff are lovely.

Nobody should be using a nursery unless they absolutely have to.

Lock down. Pandemic. Haven’t you noticed?

Parents need their "me time" don't they!
If the pandemic has shown something is how selfish and inconsiderate people are. It's exactly the same with Primary schools, which were officially supposed to stay opened for critical worker only.

There's between 50 or 60% attendance in most schools, it was barely 10 in the first lockdown. Parents just want free childcare and can't be arsed with homeschooling.

Shame putting kids in nurseries when not strictly necessary is penalising front line critical workers, but no one cares about that. People think they did their bit, with their little weekly clapping in the spring...

It's astonishing people want children when they can't be bothered to look after them. I would be so embarrassed if I was like that.

But hey, that "me time" is important, and spending time with your kids a chore, so there you go.

I thought early years all remained open? My toddler has been back since July and it feels very safe. We're lucky enough to be in an area with very low cases however.

If early years were closed, parents wouldn't be able to use them.

But there's a pandemic out there, and in theory we are on lockdown. In theory, because in practice no one cares.

@SteveBrexit you can call it me time if you like, I call it earning a living. Something which I’ve spent the past ten years orchestrating between childcare providers and employers and yes, enjoying time with my children.

Unfortunately I did not set my life up to anticipate that I would have to work my 35ish hour weeks when my children were asleep, which is my current situation. And one I do with a great deal of stress and at huge detriment to my mental health but in total understanding that this is what we need to do to get through this.

Our preschool has been open since June and they’ve been delighted to be open. As well as being happy see the children they’re also a business like any other that needs income to stay afloat.

We have had our DS home since Christmas (we’re paying fees) but thinking of sending back next week as it’s becoming harder to juggle work/home school and case rates have plummeted and are now almost zero here.

There's between 50 or 60% attendance in most schools No there's not. It was reported today as 23% of children had been on site in the last week. That doesn't even mean every day; most of my keywords friends' children are only going in on days both parents shifts overlap which is a maximum of 3 times a week. I am a keyworker as is DH, our older child hasn't been in at all.

I think @Rowenasemolina and @SteveBrexit must be the same person
It’s perfectly legal to use early years settings. Studies have shown the risk of transmissions from children of this age is very, very small.
If toddlers were super spreaders we’d have seen a further rise in cases.
My daughters nursery were perfectly happy to open. Their own salaries, mortgages, income etc depends on it being open! I also have friends who own nurseries and they were desperate to reopen after the initial lockdown. I haven’t met anyone who claims they are “risking their life” to work in an early years setting.
DD has been in nursery whenever it has been legally allowed to do so. She is happiest when surrounded by her friends.

Mine started in November, for the first time. She caught covid there in January. We all had it. It was mild, like a cold. I am also pregnant.
No regrets about sending her in. The staff are certainly very happy to be there, they all love their jobs. My daughter has a lot of fun and I'm glad she isn't stuck at home with me all the time. Plus I can earn some much needed money.

DD has continued to attend nursery since it opened last summer, the nursery want the children there and most have returned although some have reduced their days.

Parents still need to work, the nurseries and pre schools are allowed to be open to all children, so no one should be made to feel guilty for sending in their child.

Parents need their "me time" don't they!

Yeah, I need ‘me time’, while my toddler is at nursery. Luxurious ‘me time’ in which I do my full time job and home school a 7 and 5 year old. It’s so blissful and relaxing .
I actually kept mine at home after Christmas but he will be going back on Monday as I’m on the verge of a breakdown. I’ve lost 1.5 stone since Christmas (and I wasn’t overweight) due to the stress of it all. My toddler’s speech has regressed as he is not getting much stimulation while I’m working full time and home schooling 2 other children.
Yeah... ‘me time’.

Never took mine out. No one in our household is CEV or over 40, both DH and I are working from home so arent spreading anything to colleagues. We abide by the rules and check kids temperatures daily.

SteveBrexit

My children are in childcare because I need to do my job, as does DH. Children are neither super spreaders nor at risk themselves.

DD has been back since last July when they reopened. Low case numbers in our community (rural area). Small nursery and as much as we can be, everyone's scrupulous about masks, hand sanitisers. Children wash their hands all through the day and are outside for a lot of it.

FWIW when I spoke to some of the staff members they were delighted to be reopened. It provided a sense of normality and, as a PP has said, they've got mortgages and bills to pay too.

We've not had a single case and the nursery hasn't closed down.

OP, don't be shamed by the "why did you have kids if..." brigade. Do what you have to do.

DS will be going back on Monday. Nurseries have been shut in Scotland since before Christmas. There’s been zero new cases in our area for at least 2 weeks.
Trying to work full time with a toddler is hellish.

I never stopped sending my DD since preschool and nurseries were reopened last summer. Putting my studies almost entirely on hold during the first initial lockdown was awful. I couldn't catch up just by working in the evening. DD absolutely adores her preschool, she gets to see her friends, see people other than me or DP and it gives her some much needed structure. She looks forward to going every week. We've also had zero positive cases as the preschool strictly enforces social distancing, one parent at pick up per child and mask wearing. This period in a preschoolers life is also so crucial in regards to development of important social skills. Nurseries and preschools are essential to help develop those skills.

My son was due to start nursery in January (he's 3, never been to nursery). We have decided to keep him off until September though as my dad has terminal cancer and not much longer left to live, so we are bubbled with them.

He could start in April but we're very much hoping Dad will still be with us, and I am due baby 2 then also (so don't want two massive changes).

We now plan that he'll start nursery in September. I'm worried about his social development though :(

Nurseries have been closed here since mid-December except a few spaces for if both parents are key workers.

They reopen on Monday and both settings (my DC attend 2 different places) have been in touch to say how pleased and excited they are to have the children back.

I am at breaking point trying to work with them at home and it didn't cross my mind for a minute not to send them. They are really excited about going back.

I'm bewildered by some of these responses!

I'm really confused by your post @Rowenasemolina - did your daughter's nursery offer to not charge parents if they voluntarily didn't send children in? Because that's an unusual position, but surely you're not actually saying that the nursery offered a service, charged for it but then want to blacklist and shame people who pay for that service for actually using it?

DS has been off nursery since the new year, but only because I was heavily pregnant and concerned about needing to self-isolate around the birth. I've now had the baby and he's going back on Monday - I thought I might feel a bit anxious about it but luckily our local rates have dropped very fast and are now among the lowest in the country.

My DD 2s nursery actually asked me why I was taking her out and that I should take a few weeks to rethink, I thought keeping her home was a good thing and reduce the numbers in the nursery.

My son started playgroup in September when he turned 2. It’s been great for him after isolation for so long. Early years settings are still open so it’s absolutely fine to send your DC in. Except to some people, who like to make up an extra set of their own rules then judge anyone who doesn’t follow them harshly!

You are perfectly entitled to a break OP. I’m very sorry for your loss

It's an odd one because mine is at preschool, which was strongly recommended by her paediatrician and team. I felt so guilty after reading mumsnet posts that I called the preschool twice to check they were honestly happy to have her and that I'd pay anyway etc (it's very reasonable and she's only in a couple of mornings) and they sounded genuinely baffled and said of course I should send her. It wasn't the manager I spoke to but the staff

Mumsnet tells me that they are just putting on a brave face but seething inside, but I don't see really why they would in this instance

Mine's been at a childminder four days a week since August and my daughter has been at her "keyworker" nursery place throughout. Our childminder has seven different children through the week and has had no cases, neither has my daughter's school. We're in one of the worst hit areas of Wales.