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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To request family members don’t buy dc chocolates for Easter.

60 replies

C231009 · 17/02/2021 17:32

I know Easter is still a few weeks away yet but most years dc get eggs off my parents, the in laws, my grandma, uncles, aunts amongst others. So it means a lot of Easter eggs. My two are the only children in the family. Also DS gets eggs given from his dads side of the family. I am grateful everyone is so kind but it means that dc often have a lot of eggs!

DS is autistic and if given the chance he will eat and eat. He struggles to recognise when he’s full. He is 10 and weighs 6.5 stoneish. His weight has slowly crept up. He’s not overly tall and he’s gained a bit of a belly. DD has gained a bit of a belly too. We are monitoring what they eat, cutting portions and encouraging more exercise. So they aren’t really realising the changes we have made.

Anyway, aibu to request no eggs? We really don’t expect anything at all but if they wanted to give something maybe a pound or two, a magazine, some pens, a cheap dvd might be some ideas. Don’t want anyone to spend much.

We just end up with a shit load of eggs every year and DS has eyes bigger than his belly.

I know it’s only once a year...

Aibu? How would it come across if someone messaged you requesting no chocolate.

Or maybe I’ll ask everyone to buy a small kinder egg each for them instead rather than a big egg which will dramatically decrease calories! DS would love a bunch of kinder eggs!!

OP posts:

AlwaysLatte · 17/02/2021 20:37

Why don't you request mini eggs like the little Lindt bunnies etc that you can use for a egg hunt. Then you could hold some back for the next couple of weeks as well if you have too much chocolate.

Countrygirl2021 · 17/02/2021 20:41

Can't you just allow them to have one a day in the weeks that follow easter.

An egg a week is a horrific amount of calories and sugar still. They are an ocassional treat not a weekly one.

didireallysaythat · 17/02/2021 20:44

Just ask for no eggs.

We don't give our kids eggs, our family don't give our kids eggs. We're not really into Easter (not practising Christians so the time of year doesn't mean anything to us).

Cpl1586407 · 17/02/2021 20:46

@C231009

To add, we aren’t banning chocolate completely. Me and dp will buy them an egg or two each.

Ehhh??

this makes your whole OP redundant tbh.

Children don't need to have chocolate Easter eggs. I didn't really have them growing up. We painted hens eggs or sometimes baked Easter cake/muffins maybe.

Ace1185 · 17/02/2021 20:52

On Easter we allow ds to eat what he wants then after that they go away and handed out as a treat after that. Don't really see the problem myself

EachBleachBlairTrump · 17/02/2021 20:55

We say no eggs for DS he's two, we're happy with nothing but some people will give a book or something crafty. We don't buy him eggs either, Easter isn't actually about chocolate

BrilliantBetty · 17/02/2021 20:56

YANBU. I also don't think you should feel awkward about saying it. I would not mind at all if a relative asked this of me, in a polite way of course. And they understand that things can be a little trickier for you with his autism.

In fact, my good friend with an autistic DS the same age as mine once asked me if I'd mind not offering snacks to hers when I offered to mine when we were out. And ideally not even give snacks out in front of him. I hadn't considered but she was trying hard to establish some eating boundaries. I understood and it was all good. I'm pleased she said it rather than stewed over it.

Slothkin · 17/02/2021 20:59

You sent me down a lovely rabbit tunnel OP - my Grandma got me a Polly Pocket instead of an Easter egg each year and I loved them. I was so sad when I looked for one for a friend’s child a few years back to find out they’d been discontinued; bit of a nostalgic google just now and someone has brought them back! So pleasing!

Dutchesss · 17/02/2021 21:05

Ask them to get kinder egg sized ones or the small malteaster bunnies. I know what you mean, all the eggs add up quickly.
Sometimes we melt some of ours to make corn flake nests, lots of chocolate gets lost in the process.
I don't buy my children eggs, but they usually get about 15 boxes each. I wouldn't buy your children two eggs each if you are worried about them having too much.

RainingBatsAndFrogs · 17/02/2021 21:05

Perfectly OK to ask for alternative Easter celebrations.

I would be upfront and direct about the issues it causes with your Ds and suggest lovely Eastery things they might like: seeds or bulbs, small wind up toys to have a wind-up Easter bunny race, Easter themed craft stuff, etc.

poppycat10 · 17/02/2021 21:07

If you messaged me I would wonder why you couldn't put the eggs away and eat them gradually.

Nobody says your kids have to eat them all in one day/week or even month.

I always think it's quite mean-spirited when parents moan about Easter eggs.

You can given them to the food bank I guess if your food bank doesn't have some patronising rule about not accepting sugary things.

icanboogieboogiewoogie · 17/02/2021 21:09

@poppycat10

If you messaged me I would wonder why you couldn't put the eggs away and eat them gradually.

Nobody says your kids have to eat them all in one day/week or even month.

I always think it's quite mean-spirited when parents moan about Easter eggs.

You can given them to the food bank I guess if your food bank doesn't have some patronising rule about not accepting sugary things.

I've never heard of a food bank that has any such rule.

poppycat10 · 17/02/2021 21:10

An egg a week is a horrific amount of calories and sugar still. They are an ocassional treat not a weekly one

Is this serious?

poppycat10 · 17/02/2021 21:11

I've never heard of a food bank that has any such rule

My local one does, run by the Trussell Trust.

poppycat10 · 17/02/2021 21:13

@poppycat10

I've never heard of a food bank that has any such rule

My local one does, run by the Trussell Trust.

Actually I take it back, I looked at their website and they have obviously changed their policy. A few years ago they wouldn't take sugar or chocolate Advent calendars.

Kitkat151 · 17/02/2021 21:14

@Slothkin

I have got my 3 grandaughters a mini polly pocket each for this Easter! £2.00 each from Poundland..... I got them for their Christmas stockings then lost them....so they are getting them for Easter now they have turned up again!

00100001 · 17/02/2021 21:14

LOL at "they have too mant eggs, but we buys them 2/3 eggs"

Why not buy them 1 egg like a normal person. On fact if they're always receiving about a dozen from family...why bother buying them any at all??

Newkitchen123 · 17/02/2021 21:18

I've never heard of buying anyone more than one egg. Are you not just adding to the problem.

RainingBatsAndFrogs · 17/02/2021 21:20

@poppycat10

If you messaged me I would wonder why you couldn't put the eggs away and eat them gradually.

Nobody says your kids have to eat them all in one day/week or even month.

I always think it's quite mean-spirited when parents moan about Easter eggs.

You can given them to the food bank I guess if your food bank doesn't have some patronising rule about not accepting sugary things.

No sensitivity towards your loved family members with autism-rooted issues about eating them gradually?

No respect for the requests of parents trying to manage the needs of children with disabilities?

Oly4 · 17/02/2021 21:20

My favourite time of year as a kid was Easter when my loving relatives brought all the chocolate goodies! It’s once a year yabu.

Violinist64 · 17/02/2021 21:33

I have two children at different points on the autistic spectrum. When my son was little, the best thing we were ever told when he had to do or not do something he did not like was to say “it’s the rule.” This works because it is a universal thing that applies to everyone, not simply something to “get at” the person. In your son’s case you could tell him that he is allowed x amount of his Easter egg each day and no more because that is the rule and then you be in charge of how much he has. Can you lock the rest in a cupboard. Do you do social stories with him? If so, you could write one about how we all like chocolate but that it is not a good idea to eat too much because it can make us fat, give us spots and spoil our teeth but it is ok to have a little at a time.

Ragwort · 17/02/2021 22:17

poppycat you are right, a few years ago Trussell Trust did try to ban 'sugary treats' but they have since changed their policy ... I volunteer for an independent Food Bank - we are happy to accept Easter Eggs and chocolate.

clairedelalune · 17/02/2021 23:26

My child has ADHD and is exactly the same and will eat all in one go. Will literally run off clutching it and hide. I started asking people not to buy them chocolate several years ago; tbh I don't care if it causes offence, they are not living with the child who is quite literally swinging from the light fittings after sugar and who is then really upset with themselves as they lose control and can't cope. The year I asked I did so in Mid January.... 2 people had already bought Easter eggs 🙄 last year it was the only advantage of lockdown over Easter 😂

clairedelalune · 17/02/2021 23:28

I hasten to add they do get other things at Easter and they do get chocolate, but it's a smaller amount that's easier to manage, not loads from others.

jendifer · 17/02/2021 23:38

If I was you I wouldn’t buy them for them myself, or one if I really had to. Encourage other family to get something little and donate to the food bank - children can do that themselves if you talk them through it.

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