"Watch out everybody, a white van was spotted in such and such street" and other such pointless panic-mongery

[ImNotACat]

AIBU to be totally fucking sick of the "warnings" on local social media about absolutely bloody nothing?

Yeah, you saw a white van. OMFG the driver got out and left something on a doorstep then took a photo Perhaps he's a delivery driver you thick drama llama.

And what? An Asian woman with glasses was taking photos of an empty house on your street?? Quick, log it with the police. She must be up to something. Or maybe, just maybe, she's a fucking estate agent?

A car drove slowly past as you walked your dog? Yes, BECAUSE ITS POURING and the driver was probs trying to avoid soaking you as they went through puddles.

A van was seen driving very slowly round Labyrinth Close with 2 men in the front peering at the front doors 😱 That would be because the numbers are arranged in some bizarre configuration that makes no sense and it's basically impossible to find your way around if you haven't been before. Every time I have to drop something off to that estate (I do local deliveries for work sometimes) I expect to see a post about a badly dressed woman driving a rustbucket and staring into people's gardens 🤣

I mean I know IABU to care about Facebook really but it's infuriating watching people getting so worked up about fuck all.

I never knew people were so freaked out by white vans. I kitted mine out and used it as a camper for two years. Can't imagine how many people I sent panicking to Facebook.

@SchrodingersImmigrant where do you live that people don't talk this rubbish, I want to move there!

We had a white van post recently, people moaning about fireworks on bonfire night when there were no organised displays, more recently we have had people trying to identify cats etc. It is useful sometimes though, I asked for a recommendation for a tiler and got a great one.

I got absolutely lambasted a couple of years ago because I posted about kids picking/playing with ragwort (which is horrible stuff and can cause liver problems in humans when handled)

It got that bad I had people banging on my door to call me names and tell me I was being ridiculous.

This was shared by a Fb friend just this morning. I mean nothing says dog snatched like a wonky sticker 😂

The other popular response is that they are doing no harm. Someone even invited one in & gave them her dinner

The do gooders in our area are always trying to arrange things for the homeless and rough sleepers. We have a couple of regular old fashioned "gentlemen of the road" who do not want to be given a bed for the night, let alone someone drawing up a rota so they have somewhere to sleep every night for the next year.

we also have a "good and bad [location] businesses" page on fb. it is hilarious.

i only stay on it for the comments.

the other week there was one about waitrose, which said that it was a bad business because they let people in who cleary had bad hygiene. someone commented asking why the staff didnt make them sanitise their hands etc before entry - the original poster commented that the person in question had done this, and was wearing a mask, but had bad BO. im not sure how this was waitrose's problem, or what they could actually do about it.....

there's a guy who always corrects grammar on posts, a lady who always comments that she's far too high class for whatever the thing is and its your own fault you've had this issue because you're obviously poor....

[quote Bookwords]@SchrodingersImmigrant where do you live that people don't talk this rubbish, I want to move there! [/quote]
Nw. Either we are some magical no bullshit postcode or I just haven't found it😂
I checked fb and nextdoor. All normal bar the mlm huns

Around here someone actually printed off one of those 'men in van acting suspiciously in this street' posts, laminated it, and attached it to the lamp-posts and gates, telling people to be careful. As if we are all usually really vulnerable to whatever the supposed threat was, and normally left our doors open, and got in anyone's white van if asked and encouraged our children to do so too, but would NOW be more careful!

Someone (ahem..) took then all down after dark.

@LadyCatStark

This was shared by a Fb friend just this morning. I mean nothing says dog snatched like a wonky sticker 😂

I’m in Scotland, and up here dog snatchers have been posing as SPCA officers - the SPCA posted on FB to say that all their vans are black, so a white SPCA van would definitely be dodgy.

Maybe that’s where this particular worrier got their worry?

DH had to join our Next-door specifically because DS had left his phone in the playground. He's turned off all notifications but somehow a few slip through and he says he can't look at them because our sleepy, friendly little suburban village comes across as some inner-city drug den on there! It's so ridiculous.

Ours has a “black dog found” this morning. No indication of the breed, which being a village where all the dog owners know all the dogs would be useful info to know.

There are a couple that spring to mind off my local groups. One where a chap set up his tent on a local sports field and there were multiple posts of concern about the 'homeless man' and people offering to take him food and drink, report it to the council/local homeless charity to get him a roof over his head etc. When someone actually bothered to go and speak to the man, it turned out he was a long distance hiker (we're on the Lands End to John O Groats trail) who had got too many wet clothes during his adventure and had decided to stay over in the town for a couple of days to try and dry his things out. The other (at the risk of massively outing where I live) involved the erection of a huge drilling rig in a farm field next to a main road. It could be seen for quite a distance at night when it was lit up. Every local Facebook page and Next Door were full of tales of Fracking and no matter how many times links were posted to the planning application and the Facebook page of the scientists who were in fact undertaking some important geological drilling, the fracking conspiracy theorists continued.
I think I'd also get a Full House if I played Bingo with all of the previous types of posts mentioned too. I do laugh at the 'suspicious people' posts. There was one where 2 men in high viz jackets with torches were reported walking up on of the lanes on the outskirts of the village. This lane joins up 2 residential parts of our parish although this particular bit has no houses or street lights - hence the hi viz and torches. Wasn't long before someone announced they knew who the 2 men were!

A few years ago, the whole village (it seemed) was treated to 'cat stuck up a tree)

Poster had spotted a cat up a tree in their garden. And wanted to know what to do with it.
Replies started sensibly. Then another drama queen chimed in with the suggestion to call fire brigade. Everyone else... Don't be so silly.
Then the local pranksters piled in with offers of shotguns (these were jokes)
Drama queens went off at one about this being serious and not a joking matter.
OP called Fire brigade... Who must have been bored as they came.
While FB looking at cat... It ran off. It was up the tree as it was scared of the weirdos at the bottom...

there's a guy who always corrects grammar on posts,

I'd be so tempted to respond to him with something like 'youse ain't not gonna do nothing. Not they like aksed you to borrow them a fiver or nothing'.

I’ve got one of these happening right now!
There’s a man outside next to a black Audi with his tools all over the path. I think he was inspecting a crow bar just as I looked out the window
Suspicious?

@iklboo I don't want to correct your grammar but I thinks you'll find it's nuffink not nothing?

@Bookwords - doh. Off curse it is!

I only recently joined Next Door and it's fascinating in a completely batshit way. But it's worrying that there's so much fear. I think it discourages elderly people from going out and that's very sad

Nextdoor is really bad for this (haven't checked FB in a while..). Especially sick of what all the ''nasty travelling'' people are up to. It must truly be one of the last bastions of acceptable incitement to hatred, to have a proper whinge and warn about ''travelling people'' for glancing at a nearby field - ''lock your doors, everyone, lock your dooooors'' and then everyone thanking the poster profusely. Then it leads on to a collective agreement between (mostly people with just too little to do?) on how they've ''worked hard for they've got all their lives'' and no ''freeloading thieving traveller'' should therefore glance at their field.

Astounding, how quickly people jump to conclusions. Still can't help giggling at these posts - it's a pretty paranoid village out there.

It’s the casual racism and xenophobia that really annoys me. Someone posted about ‘dodgy men speaking Albanian’ in a car park the other day. I replied questioning whether the poster was an Albanian speaker herself, as otherwise how on earth would she know?! I got a confused defensive reply along the lines of maybe they were Albanian, maybe they weren’t, how was she to know, she’s only doing her best trying to protect people etc etc.

I was tempted to reply and say that ‘doing your best’ probably shouldn’t include posting racist comments with no evidence.

There have been a massive spate of animal thefts within about a 20 mile radius from us, so there are lots of these posts atm. And for good reason.

Wow! Such self righteous posts. If you're so irritated then get off Facebook. Despite the many of your considered 'useless' posts, occasionally a life is saved or an animal reunited. Surely that's worth it. Much better than edited selfies and false representations of lives that don't exist.

Someone reported an Asian male talking on a mobile phone walking past the train station.

Imagine, walking and talking whilst brown!

Snazzles2020 we must be on the same site. My favourite recent one was why are there police and an air ambulance at £$%^ avenue, loads of answers none accuart ranging from 3 people stabbed, many more shot and then the "Oh I hope every one is OK" these postings make my day.