Anyone feeling a strange loss of confidence?

[Madtimes78]

I don’t really want to go out anymore? Not out of fear of the virus, just I’m not sure?
Almost as if my enthusiasm for anything has gone? I literally can’t imagine sitting in a group of friends having a drink. I want it more than anything but it almost seems scary. Trying so hard to keep going as ‘Normally’ as I can, anyone else feel like this?

I resemble a bedraggled swamp hag

GoodnightKevin You're in good company then!! That made me laugh, but sadly it's true.
I was so bothered last year about when the hairdressers would open. Now I don't even care.
I've got gorgeous makeup that just sits there. If we go for a walk I just put moisturiser and sunglasses on.
If I have to go somewhere where someone's actually going to see my face, I put on a bit of concealer and mascara and as has been said, even that takes me ages.
I've had pride in my appearance my whole life and it's just gone.

Sounds like "learned helplessness", need to try to focus on regaining a sense of control over things you can eg picking meals to cook, making something, decorating something, planting something.

Me too btw

Omg exactly this. It's been scaring me a little bit as all I had keeping me going was the thought of doing all the things I used to do again. And now I'm getting to the point I can't necessarily see the joy in things anymore 🙁 I'm only assuming it's just a normal reaction to the crap we've been through and will hopefully be different once we do ease back in to real life again.

Absence of human contact is associated with declines in cognitive function. A well known fact in psychological research

Here is an extract from an article discussing this. Spoiler - it is not something to be ignored despite a lot of people dismissing this period of isolation as nothing

Loss of confidence, definitely.

I have been feeling strangely out of touch with friends. I am able to see family regularly, but I go through periods of almost forgetting about friends that I have been very close to, and then missing them terribly like they have died. But it's difficult to motivate myself to do anything about it. What will I do, talk to them on Zoom? It's not the same.

I've pretty much decided though that September is it for me. When kids go back to school, if they haven't lifted restrictions, I don't give a shit. I am doing what I want anyway.

[quote Madtimes78]@Waxonwaxoff0 It’s not that, I can’t wait to get back to normal too, god so much! I just feel totally blah and like not moving a lot, I have to force myself to go for the boring daily walk now and sometimes feel strange before walking out of the front door 🤷🏻‍♀️Perhaps it is a form of depression, I used to have such an appetite for life[/quote]
I really resonate with this @Madtimes78

Exactly the same in that I could never be home, always planning what we were doing next.

And now I've lost the enthusiasm.

I too wonder if it's a bit of depression. Which worries me as I've been so lucky to never suffer with my mental health in the past!

I'm just holding out until life does "reopen" and hoping we will get used to it pretty quickly and things will sort themselves out!

I'm aware of it in myself but the scary thing is my teen saying the same sort of thing but that they are happy now to stay home.

I am more worried about that loss of development. I think I'll be put right with a haircut, trips to see my family and a few real life shopping trips.

Yes, definitely.
For years I've driven for work, in the U.K., Europe and US. Then after the first lockdown I drove about 200 miles to see family and had a fit of nerves before leaving. Had to have a sharp word with myself to get in the car, and again going up the slip road onto the motorway.

It passed pretty quickly. You'll be fine.

yes, exactly, same. I had social anxiety before the pandemic anyway, but i had voluntary job, exercise and a social life to some extent that i no longer have. Everyone seems a bit more wary of eachother too. my days have simply been about keeping everyone alive and i hate this but am even forgetting to talk to my own parents. Dont want to go to the supermarket because of how suspicious staff are, daily walks seem pointless now we have done all our local routes.

I now am quite nervous about walking due to tripping over twice during lock down. Both times have been on badly paved streets where I live.
First time I ended up with two black eyes, second time I managed to take the brunt on my hands,
Know it’s probably my fault a) not looking where I was walking b) not picking my feet up.
But it’s really put me off going out walking.

I think for me I had DC2 in August and never had to get used to taking both children out alone.
She's now almost 6 months old and I've never taken her and DS out anywhere alone (and only about 2 places with DH)

When it was just me and DS we went everywhere, baby groups, cafes, shopping etc and now I feel terrified about how I'd cope with both. By now I'd have gotten used to it in the real world but instead I still have it hanging over me!

oldperson sorry to read that ! Similarly I have lost the ability to quite as street smart as I usually am. Go out for a walk a couple of times a week. At junctions as a pedestrian I really now need to tell myself to stop and look and keep looking both ways etc. I live in the centre of london. Spent my life being really confident in and around busy traffic. That’s seems to need to be re learnt almost.

HeronLanyon , thanks it’s not a good feeling to have ,
I was almost grateful for the snow last week to give me an excuse to not go anywhere.
I find myself looking at the ground constantly making sure I’m picking my feet up properly, I must look very anti social 🙂
I ‘m also in London too , wish they would fix some of the pavements especially where I live

I feel the same OP but I wouldn't say it's a loss of confidence. It's just a state of can't be arsed-ness. I haven't worn anything except 'loungewear' since before Xmas, so I get up, change out of my night pyjamas into my day pyjamas and don't bother putting makeup on.

I know how stupid this sounds, but I always liked getting dressed in the morning-choosing my clothes, putting my make up on, etc. I even went out of the house without any makeup on the other day, something I would never have done beforehand, but it just seemed pointless bothering. I just seem to be existing, rather than living although I don't feel depressed or anxious. I just think I have accepted that this is what life is now. And people can say all the usual shite about how 'it's not forever, it's only been a year' but I feel absolutely devoid of any kind of joy or inspiration or creativity.

I'd say that that's what I hate most about it all, but I can't even be bothered to work myself up about it that much.

It's definitely affecting my confidence in my work.

Anyone else feeling paralysed with procrastination?

I'm literally sitting at my desk staring at the screen, willing myself to work.

I know what you mean OP.

I went to work for the first time since October today. Have been wfh since March and did a few days in the summer but nothing since October.

I woke up and stumbled through breakfast, then faffed about what to wear then got on the train, went to the site we are at, finished at 3pm but bottled going into the actual office. We’re allowed to go in if we need to but everyone is enabled to wfh (except if your job involves going some place else - like a building site or someone’s house or court etc) I actually walked past the office on the way back to the station, I know my colleague is in today and it would have been nice to see her and chat about our project face to face rather than on Teams, but I bottled it.

Weird.

Yes. I am exactly the same. Just recovered from Covid-19 and its been a struggle. Devoid of joy is exactly how I feel. And again slightly overweight, hair a mess , cba to wear makeup.

It’s strange, I really wanted to go out and do all those things but seem to have totally lost interest in them now. I wonder if the enthusiasm will come back once you do it a couple of times and enjoy it. I think staying at home can just become habit.

Same, I feel flat almost? Like life isn’t exciting or interesting anymore

However the weather is fairly nice near me, sunny and 10+ degrees which makes a change from the freezing cold/snow last week! Did cheer me up

I just feel like I've completely lost motivation for my job during lockdown. It's made me reconsider my career-path (or lack of!) so it's probably a good thing really. Sometimes you need to be away from something to see it clearly. I've not been happy at work for years but I've stuck it out because it's been a steady job whilst I've produced children. And local. But as far as being a good career option going forward - nah.

I know what you mean OP. I have to go to work for odd days to access a certain system.(normally WFH) and it just takes me hours to get out of the door! Ages to get ready, have I got my keys, mask, pass - like I'm putting off leaving the house! I'm not worried about catching Covid, travelling in my own car, no one else at work!

I was like this today leaving for the supermarket. I’m not scared of catching Covid - I just felt this huge sense of anxiety like some kind of mini panic attack. I left the two younger dc’s in the care of the eldest(18) which I often do but the whole way there and back I was fretting that something would happen to one of them. I felt sort of “spaced out” and jittery.
I honestly think this situation is driving me a bit mad.

I think it’s down to the huge change in all of our usual routines, and having nothing to look forward to. It feels like nothing matters anymore and the future is just a bit of an abyss stretched out in front of us.

We’ve booked a U.K. holiday for July and I’m so scared it won’t happen - the dc’s won’t stop talking about it (usually they wouldn’t be particularly bothered). I’m so worried they’re going to be disappointed.

I was mildly agoraphobic before all this & initially loved having an excuse not to leave the house/see people. I'm genuinely concerned about how I'll cope when things return to some sort of "normal." I've only seen people other than DH & our DC a handful of times in nearly a year & none for more than about an hour & the longer interactions left me so exhausted I needed a lie down. I've never been overly concerned about catching Covid but I'm terrified of having to make small talk, or remember the etiquette for normal, everyday interactions like buying milk.

Until recently I've been pretty blasé about it all but I'm awaiting medical investigations at the moment that are likely to involve a small operation & an overnight stay in hospital. The thought of having to do all that by myself would make me stressed at the best of times, now it seems almost impossible. I'm also highly likely to go into my polite autopilot mode & just smile & nod at everything they say & not tell them if there's a problem because I won't want to draw any extra attention to myself. I'm really quite worried that I'm going to get an infection or something & end up seriously ill because I don't want a fuss!

I'm also not sure that I remember my PIN number for my credit card anymore so that could be interesting when I have to buy things in actual shops...!