I know my situation is no worse than anyone else’s and, in many ways, is a lot better. Please don’t tell me that I’m lucky if this is all I have to worry about. It isn’t, but it seems to be pushing me over the edge.
For various reasons covid-related, I am currently a SAHM. My DH has been working from home and I’ve been homeschooling our 5yo twins and looking after our toddler. Obviously, it’s a lot, but we’re doing okay. But now we’ve got rid of the 2yo’s dummy and I’m struggling to get her to nap. She needs to nap. She still doesn’t sleep through at night and it’s much worse if she doesn’t nap. Today she fell asleep in the car for five minutes and now I can’t get her to go down.
I need this time. It’s the only chance I have to get some cleaning done. I set the boys up with something and put my headphones in and it’s an hour of headspace and productivity. I can’t get much done when she is awake because she is into everything and she is also very loud, which doesn’t really work for my DH end his endless phone calls.
I am totally touched out and almost claustrophobic. I love these children so much, but someone always needs to be touching me or sitting on me or leaning against me. I have this very small life at the moment with basically nothing outside of my house apart from our exercise. I’m running out of ideas of ways to entertain the toddler and it’s so stressful trying to keep them all quiet and at least when she napped I had this little window of peace and now even that is gone.
I know I’m BU because it could all be much worse, but I feel so desperate for her to go down just so I can clean a bathroom without her shouting for me.