How can i survive this ?

[zootrop]

In the house with toddler aged 2.

We are self isolating due to positive case at nursery.

I just tried to do a video zoom call for a medical appointment and it was a disaster , toddler climbing all over me, screaming , crying trying to grab it . This was despite me setting him up with a laptop to preoccupy him, giving him my phone with YouTube on and some chocolate . I thought surely he can just play with this and give me 10 minutes but no. I was totally frazzled and have re arranged the appointment .

I am working 2 days this week 12.5 shifts and whilst my partner will be looking after him I still will be in the house on calls all day immersed in the family home surroundings , feeling as though I am getting no break whatsoever .

This pandemic sucks
This way of living is disgusting

It will suck and this pandemic is awful. Sympathy for that.

Yabu to ask 'how you can survive this' when you're not even going to be trying to work while looking after a toddler, but for 12.5 hours, as a one off, with a toddler fully cared for elsewhere.

It's like the Duchess of Cambridge saying she's exhausted by home schooling. Yes, it's hard for pretty much everyone. But unless there's a ton of backstory, how do you think a majority of posters on here are 'surviving' while trying to homeschool or care for children and work simultaneously, and have been for months, or who have lost jobs, or have been shielding for the best part of a year?

It's utterly shit, I get it, I feel the same. Mum of 1 and 3 year old here. DH been in bed for ten days with bad back. I keep telling myself many people are much worse off than me, but doesn't stop me feeling sad, exhausted and fed up.
I try and get the kids out for a walk or something every day even if I don't want to. We usually feel better once we're out and it breaks up the day a bit. Cbeebies and iPlayer helping too.
And yes, for those saying this is normal toddler behaviour, you're right, but we're trying to manage without baby groups, meeting friends for cake and coffee, soft play, help from grandparents, etc, etc so it's bloody hard!

@Crunchymum

It really is shit isn't it?

This week I am having a bit of respite as it's half term so no home schooling but I am dreading next week already. It's audit week and I need to be on call all the time, meetings and calls will be ad hoc (even scheduled meetings can be hard). I will also be "teaching" a 8 and 6 year old and have a 3you disabled toddler in the mix.

It is daunting and depressing.

Before anyone asks - DP is self employed so asking him to take the week off means he'd lose a weeks salary and probably a client.

It sucks!

You have my sympathies. It is shitty

People are being too cruel! We are all close to snapping and who is to say that something you can’t handle won’t be the final straw for someone else. I have a lovely supportive family who have cooked dinner and washed up for me and are calm and easy going and yet I am sick of staying home, not living a normal life and hanging on. I am sorry you had a bad day OP. I hope that your partner will take the toddler so you can go for a drive/walk and destress. Tomorrow is another day.

God this thread has very quickly turned to ‘others have it worse’, even by MN standards.

OP you wouldn’t be posting if you weren’t at the end of your tether, none of us are in your exact situation with your exact stressors, none of us know what’s come before today or what other challenges you’re facing that someone else may not be.

It’s been a long shit hard year and you’re entitled to feel sick of it, wonder how you can keep going and just be done. Please don’t let the shitty comments on here accusing you of being over dramatic be taken to heart. It’s shit and it sounds like you’re really up against it with a toddler, pregnancy, long shifts, and isolation.

You can only try make it through today a day at a time. You’ve got this, and you’re not alone. I care

Your dp is home - I'd put my coat on, kiss the toddler and leave for work

Then sneak back in and up the stairs with the laptop and work from the bedroom. Appear at the door at lunch time then repeat.

If your dc thinks you're not home it'll be easier

@angieb89
You sound amazing that you are not exploding with the load you are juggling.
#Respect. 😁 Twins are so busy. Wishing you the very best

OP, it is hard. Hopefully tomorrow will be better.

It's not a competition.
Some days are just hard.
Harder than others.
I remember days when I felt I would literally drown with 4 young children and the next day it just all came together quite calmly.

Nothing to be gained by beating yourself up.
One day at a time.

Every time I start to feel sorry for myself in lockdown I think of people in much harder situations then mine and I realise how lucky I am.

I feel for you OP. I've certainly had days where I've felt like I can't do this, and everything has seemed totally overwhelming.

A lot of the responses are really harsh. The OP has had a shitty day and is going through a hard time. Just because others are too doesn't mean the OP can't feel crap about it.

Competitive misery is pointless and never ends. No matter how bad you think you have it, there's someone out there worse off than you.

Tomorrow is another day OP. Chin up. When I crawl into bed at night I do try to list some things I was thankful for that day, just really small things or big things. Even if it's just having food, a hot shower, a hug from a partner, text from a friend etc. It helps me.

@33goingon64

Every time I start to feel sorry for myself in lockdown I think of people in much harder situations then mine and I realise how lucky I am.

This is exactly what I do, but sometimes it's ok to admit that you are having a shit day, for no othet reason than you are feeling off.

It's not a competition.

@OverTheRubicon wtf? I work 12.5 shifts every week not a one off .

Just an update for those of you who think I'm being dramatic my toddler tested positive for covid today ..

@ColdBrightClearMorning thank you. Really needed to hear that tonight especially as toddler has now tested positive for covid . It's so much better to work when toddler is not in house due to the nature of my job, it's essential really . Oh well things will only get better .. hopefully

Oh dear, sorry to hear about your toddler. Hope they are ok and not unwell.
On the plus side, at least your DP will be at home to help now

@StopMakingATitOfUrselfNPissOff yes that is true . Thank you

@WishingHopingThinkingPraying

I think the issue is you feel angry and trapped. Regardless of how bad your situation is compared to others, the way you feel is what matters. It's such a cliche to say about positive thinking OP but what I will say is that thoughts become feeling. And what you choose to focus on is what will grow. Positive or negative. Realising that really helped me.

Absolutely

I am going to send you sympathy. I recently isolated with my 2 year old at 38 weeks pregnant. It was tough as his fav things to do are outside. Again due to covid at nursery and then he caught it and we were all isolating.

2 years olds are hard to entertain at home all day. They need fresh air to help them sleep.

What we did to help survive was go for a daily car ride. Didn't get out of car and sometimes parked in an empty train station car park to watch trains. He loves cars and trains. Yes I know wrong but I was at the end of my tether.

Also with the saved nursery fees (ours don't charge if the bubble is closed) we bought more toys and an indoor trampoline

@welshladywhois40

I am going to send you sympathy. I recently isolated with my 2 year old at 38 weeks pregnant. It was tough as his fav things to do are outside. Again due to covid at nursery and then he caught it and we were all isolating.

2 years olds are hard to entertain at home all day. They need fresh air to help them sleep.

What we did to help survive was go for a daily car ride. Didn't get out of car and sometimes parked in an empty train station car park to watch trains. He loves cars and trains. Yes I know wrong but I was at the end of my tether.

Also with the saved nursery fees (ours don't charge if the bubble is closed) we bought more toys and an indoor trampoline

I think you coped as best you could in a difficult situation!

It's only 2 weeks, get a grip, some of us have been doing it since December and juggling work and schooling!!

Sorry to hear your toddler has covid, OP and I hope he's not too poorly with it

I agree that some PP are being unnecessarily harsh. OP clearly posted in a low moment when she was feeling frazzled and at the end of her rope. Haven't we all had moments like that parenting toddlers, even pre-pandemic? Being a parent is hard sometimes and constantly being told to "count your blessings" when you admit to finding it tough doesn't help, it's just invalidating and prevents people from asking for help or being honest about how they really feel.

We have a 2 yo and a 7yo and both work full time in very demanding jobs. I know we're very lucky to both have jobs when so many people are losing theirs. I'm also lucky to be in a good marriage, to be okay financially and to have a lovely home to be locked-down in but that doesn't mean I don't have days where I want to scream! You can be grateful for what you have and still have days where you struggle.

The usual empathy flows forth...

It is rubbish at present, but hopefully it’ll get better, hold on. You’re just having a bad day, all will be well.

It's shit, for sure, but "digusting" is a bit strong imo.

Nearly 120,000 people dead and untold numbers more suffering possibly lifeling health problems because of the bloody useless government's failure to take it seriously from the start, now that's disgusting.

It's tough for everyone. And because it's tough for everyone, I think most people are understanding when kids disrupt online appointments etc.

And anyone who isn't is a dick.