IVF added mortification

[DamnitImTired]

So Im 42 and have been Ivfing for 3 years. Had one BFP 18 months ago and only told friends and family once we had a positive result. Sadly had a MC. We have done another 3 rounds since then but have told nobody. My last EC was last week and it just so happened that the anaesthetist is a male friend of ours.... So now he knows too!
Very uncomfortable knowing that I was about to be wheeled into theatre with my legs in stirrups and a friend in the room with me. Imagine walking through to the procedure room, hair in a hair net, lovely medical gown ... butt sticking out.
Im blushing now as I type this.
I know its all professional and stuff but I wish I had thought that it might have been a possibility before hand and specifically requested that he NOT be the guy. My head was so full of other things obviously... But what are the chances? Quite good clearly!!!

A friend of a friend was having her second baby at the same time DP was doing his block of shifts in maternity (DP was notoriously immature at this time, he is professional at work but very jokey with his friends), I remember getting some concerned messages asking if he could please please please not attend the birth, she could never live it down! Luckily she came in an hour after his shift finished we only ever see her at mutual friends parties so that would have been fun..

When I was being prepped for a planned C section someone said they recognised me. I just smiled and shrugged knowing full well I had met her a few weeks before I went on maternity leave as I also worked at the hospital in another department. Just been derobed so to speak when she suddenly twigged and said oh you're a member of staff aren't you! To a full room of medical people (anyone who has had a c section will know that's a lot of people!). Then she realised what she'd done and said oh god I am so sorry!!

Lol & here was me feeling awkward at my smear yesterday done by a nurse I've got to know quite well.

My friend once introduced me to the GP who had done DH's prostate check. She got as far as "A, this is my friend B, she's a GP" before she had to run away. As she'd started talking, she'd remembered me talking about DH going for a BUPA health annual check and not expecting a prostate exam, but the GP insisting while he was there she might as well. She had asked where the BUPA check was, as she was thinking of having one but said "oh no my friend works there" and hadn't thought about it since until she had to introduce us.

Never admit you know anybody.

I had somebody start at one place that used to keep on saying she recognised me from somewhere and asking where it was in front of other people.

It wasn't something she would particularly want to be reminded of (she was not behaving nicely, but was also extremely mentally unwell at the time).

Mind you, realising at a later date that I was the staff member who spent ages on the phone calming and reassuring, then putting the steps into place for a termination of pregnancy for a woman whose future XH would turn out to be my DP was significantly more awkward than that. Especially as DP thinks she had a miscarriage, not an accidental pregnancy by another man

One of my friends did my mammogram years ago.

Goodluck with your IVF OP. Pre lockdown I went to my cousins wedding and was seated on the table next to my cousins wife's family, one of whom was the nurse who had looked after me in hospital the week before. She recognised me! It wasn't a secretive thing so I ended up saying hi and then telling everyone she was my lovely nurse.

@neverDropYourMoonCup have you ever told him?! Shocker!!! I think you win out of all the comments

[quote MissMarpleDarling]@neverDropYourMoonCup have you ever told him?! Shocker!!! I think you win out of all the comments[/quote]
Christ, no. It's her confidential medical information.

@NeverDropYourMoonCup

Never admit you know anybody.

I had somebody start at one place that used to keep on saying she recognised me from somewhere and asking where it was in front of other people.

It wasn't something she would particularly want to be reminded of (she was not behaving nicely, but was also extremely mentally unwell at the time).

Mind you, realising at a later date that I was the staff member who spent ages on the phone calming and reassuring, then putting the steps into place for a termination of pregnancy for a woman whose future XH would turn out to be my DP was significantly more awkward than that. Especially as DP thinks she had a miscarriage, not an accidental pregnancy by another man

Oh wow you definitely win this thread. I couldn’t keep that to myself, just as well I’m not a HCP

@NeverDropYourMoonCup Has she ever mentioned it to you since? Or has she not made the connection?

[quote MrsGarethSouthgate]@NeverDropYourMoonCup Has she ever mentioned it to you since? Or has she not made the connection?[/quote]
She very politely ignored the fact that she recognised my voice and first name. Her face said differently, though.

I never gave out my surname when working in the NHS unless specifically asked for it because I had already encountered people I knew multiple times - sometimes they were happy it was me when they saw me or heard my voice, sometimes they were worried I'd tell other people about their pregnancies/losses/diagnoses.

For all her faults and there are many, she has never once said anything nasty about me; hopefully not because she was afraid what I could say if she pissed me off, but I'd like to think it is because I was the one person at that point in her life who did something to help her when she was in a desperate situation. She does, however, politely ignore my existence as much as possible. Which I'm fine with; it's got to be a constant reminder of something she would rather forget.

About ten years ago I found a lump in my breast. Fortunately it turned out to be nothing to worry about but the doctor suggested that I have it removed because I was intending to have children in the next few years and he said that it may interfere with that. So on the day of the operation I was wheeled down to theatre and the anaesthetist came out to speak to me staring down at his clipboard and saying "...so you're hear for the removal of a breast lump..." then looked up and at that point I died from embarrassment as he was the father of a little girl in my class at school. He looked a bit embarrassed as well but did say that I could change anaesthetist if I wanted to but there would be a delay before they could arrange that. I was so anxious about being operated on that I just wanted to go ahead and have it done so told him it was fine having him.

Anyway, after the operation when I was starting to come round I opened my eyes to see his hulking figure lurking at the end of the bed and he said "I'll see you in school". It was cringe at the time but I think I'm almost over the embarrassment now!

It was also a good story to tell the headteacher at my school who was a dreadful snob and had refused to believe this man when he said he was an anaesthetist because he looked like a body builder and was covered in tattoos. I've never seen such a disappointed cat's mouth face when I confirmed to her that he was indeed an anaethetist, despite how he looked!

Nhs mw and have 4 dc.

There are parts of me that my colleagues have seen that my husband never will 🤣

Doesn't bother me one bit as I know we don't look at it the same as most. Just another day at the orofice.

That said, I aways offer an alternative staff member if it's someone I recognise.

My friend had similar experience but a female scrub nurse, she introduces people to her friend as “this lady was there when my baby was conceived” which sounds like an orgy not IVF. Can see how it’s awkward though.