To basically say goodbye to career progression?

[Merryoldgoat]

I’ve posted about this in various guises before. But things have moved on a little and I think I have to accept I’ve reached my limit career-wise.

I’m a Finance Manager (part qual) with a middling salary for accountancy (£50k fte). I worked three days per week for a while and I’ve just moved up to 4 in the last year.

I like my job but I find it quite easy and not especially challenging except for when I get projects to run which is sporadic.

But. My children. I have two sons, older is 8 with HFA and the younger is 3 just starting on the pathway - severe speech delay and I’ll be shocked if he’s not autistic too.

I had the OT assessment through today for older boy’s EHCP and the recommendations are quite full on. No problem. That’s fine. Well do what’s required. He’s fantastic and I’m determined he’ll be ok.

Younger has a SALT assessment Thursday but he’s so much younger that there are years ahead of appointments etc.

Both boys will need our support long-term and it’s safe to say life isn’t what I imagined but much better than it could be. Both boys are very happy, we have family nearby who love us all and are very supportive.

But the boys are our (DH and my) responsibility and I want the best for them.

So the vote I suppose

YABU - you can still progress, finish studies and get a senior finance role thar will challenge you

YANBU - life is not what it might’ve been - be grateful you have a good flexible job that fits around everything you need it to

As a foot note, DH is as involved as I am - his job just pays more and he has the ability to earn a lot more. It makes no sense to cut his work.

I read your title and thought YABU, but now see there is more to it. It depends i think, mainly on what you want from life and how much your kids need you due to their SNs.

For now, I would concentrate on finishing your exams. You can study when you like, whereas if you up your hours at work they are presumably at set times. So make qualifying the key aim in the short term, while you can still benefit from a flexible job and a nice boss.

Then think about job progression. Presumably in a year or two your youngest will be in school, so both will be out of the house 9-3 at least (so if you worked 9-5 5 days that’s not that many extra hours).

I have just gone through my own period of feeling stuck career wise. What has helped me is to remember it’s a marathon not a sprint. There are some periods in your life when you can only just about hang on. But then there will be others when you can progress quite quickly. Not giving up is key, even if you have to tread water for a few years.

Yanbu

I’m currently part time and took a different role to secure the hours I’m on. I miss my old role (that I could return to full time) but it’s what works well for the family as a whole.
I don’t think you can necessarily have it all but you can be content with what you do have and recognise when you’re onto a good thing, which it certainly sounds like with your work.

I have an autistic child too and worked very part time for much longer than I had wanted to. My career took a huge hit, I had previously been a high flier and have always loved work.

He's a teenager now and settled in a specialist school. He gets dropped back by taxi at 4 every day. The number of appointments and meetings has dropped a lot and I have been working full time since he started there. I really trod water for my forties but am taking off again now. So I agree, it is a marathon not a sprint. It's been very hard though, I relate to what you say - ADs have been a life saver for me too.

I’d finish your studies because that gives you options.
Your job sounds great at the moment, but all it takes is a change of manager and suddenly you don’t have the flexibility you did.

Having the qualifications gives you better options if you need them in the future.

Thank you everyone - I really appreciate everyone’s input.

The younger starts full time nursery in September so within them both in education 9-3 every day it will allow me to study on my day off which I think is one solution.

I’m really not interested in being a high flyer - DH and I like balance. But I do need more of a challenge.

I could also talk to my manager about any upcoming projects that I might be able to get involved with.