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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Driving miles to skateboard park

74 replies

HyacynthBucket · 16/02/2021 16:12

A friend of someone I know drove 27 miles to a city skatepark for her child to attend (and 27 miles back) even though there are skateparks near home, when we are supposed to be making essential journeys only. AIBU to feel this is so selfish when so many others have made big sacrifices to do the right thing, stay home and not spread the virus? The journey was completely unnecessary.

OP posts:
Serin · 16/02/2021 16:17

Me and my family have rigidly stuck to the rules but maybe they felt it was necessary for the kids mental health? My DD works with teenagers who self harm and a lot of kids are really struggling now.

Serin · 16/02/2021 16:18

Sorry "My family and I".

Original poster
HyacynthBucket · 16/02/2021 16:19

Yes, that is understandable, but there are two or three skateparks right on the doorstep, so the round trip ofover 50 miles was quite unnecessary.

OP posts:
Timeforabiscuit · 16/02/2021 16:21

I think at this point, its becoming more a judgement call and trust that others are doing their best.

If it comes to the point where people are thinking, yes, this is worth a 250 quid fine to me, I would imagine they were at their limit.

MoiraNotRuby · 16/02/2021 16:22

I can't bring myself to think this is selfish. Sorry OP! Kid goes to skate park. Big wow. I don't see it makes much difference how long the car ride takes, its not like 1 bus v 3 buses. Its still just one car ride. Assuming they didn't get out and lick passers by en route.

Norwaydidnthappen · 16/02/2021 16:23

Really can’t get het up over this. They travelled 27 miles to exercise outdoors, not to attend a massive house party. Doubt they created much, if any, risk there.

I honestly don’t care anymore. I’m a bit bored of everyone treating 1984 like a guidebook now.

Timeforabiscuit · 16/02/2021 16:24

No, I don't think it was unnecessary - I'm sure they've been using those skateparks (bits of tarmac with ramps) for over a year now.

I would be sick to the eye teeth of them! And if it gives a lift, to be in a slightly different bit of open air and practice a sport - then actually its still an individual judgement call.

sashagabadon · 16/02/2021 16:25

I think this is fine. I’ve done similar and might do this weekend too as my son loves skateboarding.

poppycat10 · 16/02/2021 16:25

Of course it's selfish because everything MNers don't agree with is selfish.

It does seem a bit stupid if there are other ones that are closer, but maybe they're rubbish in comparison?

I can't get agitated about the driving for exercise thing though.

MissMarpleDarling · 16/02/2021 16:25

Saw my neighbour packing up her car and she told me she was going to visit her sister for a week. 3 hours drive there and 3 hours back. I agreed to keep an eye on her house 😂 it was only after I thought what a cheeky fucker. I drove 12 miles to go for a walk last week and thought I was taking the piss. Your friend really is.

GreenlandTheMovie · 16/02/2021 16:27

I don't want to live in the one country which is policing children going to skateparks alone with a parent driving them anyway, so YABU.

I think the ongoing lockdown here has gone well beyond what is necessary, for far too long. I see the Dutch have challenged theirs successfully in court today as emergency powers legislation isn't designed for this under their Constitution.

tttigress · 16/02/2021 16:28

Getting a bit sick of this sort of thinging OP.

Once in the car with kid, what is the difference if she drives 7 or 70 miles, it is not going to increase there chances of giving it to each other. (spare us some desperate argument about increase of accident).

I think you need to stop being so petty, it's scary to see how many people would have spied on their neighbours if we were living on East Germany.

Original poster
HyacynthBucket · 16/02/2021 16:28

timeforabiscuit
I guess I don't think it is actually an individual judgement call. We have been told to take journeys only if they are essential. As someone who has been taking this seriously, I find it hard to understand why not everyone does.

OP posts:
IndecentFeminist · 16/02/2021 16:32

I can't get het up about this tbh. They got in the car, drive, skated, drove back. Is it the distance that bothers you? What is inherently more risky about 27 miles?

MagnoliaBeige · 16/02/2021 16:33

Even Boris cycled miles across London for his own enjoyment, I’m afraid I can’t get het up about this!

apalledandshocked · 16/02/2021 16:35

With the weather as cold as its been it probably wont have done the car any harm to drive it there and back. I know people who have been driving their car on a circular journey just to keep the engine ticking over as otherwise it would be sat there unused for too long. So it could have been a killing 2 birds with 1 stone situation.

Elai1978 · 16/02/2021 16:38

Completely within the law OP. YABU!

itsme189 · 16/02/2021 16:39

I don't understand how going to one skatepark is different to going to another? How is she taking it less seriously by going to a different skate park. You are overthinking here OP.

Original poster
HyacynthBucket · 16/02/2021 16:39

IndecentFeminist
I think it is the sense that "I can do whatever I like in the middle of a huge pandemic, even though everyone else has been told to stick to guidance about essential travel only, and most do. But I am not going to because it doesn't suit me, and sod everyone else. I will do what I want". That is what it feels like to me, having made huge efforts not to make any unnecessay journeys.

OP posts:
Pinkmarsh · 16/02/2021 16:40

They didn’t put anyone at risk from the virus so it doesn’t bother me.

AIMD · 16/02/2021 16:40

Would I do this? No
Would I get hot and bothered about someone else doing it? No

I’d be annoyed by people having parties etc. But I see this as quite low risk in terms of spreading the virus.

1Morewineplease · 16/02/2021 16:41

I think that it smacks of pushing the boundaries as much as you possibly can but still justifying yourself that you've kept within the regulations.
Cummings' trip to that castle was probably justified ( by expertly arguing his case as being within the spirit of the rules) though most of us would not have done that.
It upsets me that people think that they can just get in the car and find any excuse to justify themselves when so many have followed the rules and have suffered.
My mum lives far away... elderly and frail. Husband has underlying health issues. We've stayed away.
Perhaps we should have just bent the rules and feel smug about it.

Timeforabiscuit · 16/02/2021 16:41

It is a judgement call, because the law is not meant for this, it's important to understand that policing can only work with the consent of the communities they work within.

Enforcing people to stay within a 1 mile perimeter of their home is not workable long term, and we are in the long term now.

So YOU are going to have to trust society - that the people around you are taking measured sensible precautions, or you are going to be a dick about it.

When tempers are short and relationships are frayed, if people can't stretch rules - they will start breaking them en masse. That is a less desirable situation.

itsme189 · 16/02/2021 16:50

I'm sure a skate park isn't them doing whatever they like OP they'd probably love a holiday or a party but they aren't doing that they are exercising outside just in a different location to where you would like them! How have you coped with a year of this if this kind of thing stresses you out?

GoodnightKevin · 16/02/2021 16:52

At this point - almost 12 solid months into ongoing lockdowns of varying degrees - I really just don't care any more what other people are doing. Some people are stringently obeying the rules, others are bending them slightly to make life more tolerable, some are completely disregarding them. I just do not have the energy to GAF any more.

A parent took a child to a skate park, not out to spit in strangers' open mouths 🤷🏻‍♀️