Hello,
I'm not sure if AIBU in this situation or if my exh is being odd/unreasonable.
Bit of background. We have been separated a year, divorce already through - his instance and he is already in a new relationship and living with the girlfriend. The children were told about this new relationship recently and seem OK. They have had there first weekend staying over. Previous to this they would all (dad and children) stay at his parent's. The children hated this set up.
The odd/unreasonable part is he refuses to talk to me about any time they spend with him that is extra or any alternations to our arrangement. I don't mean what they have been doing, that's their business, but collection, drop off additional time spent together. I have to ask the children what is happening.
I mentioned to him that mothers day falls on his weekend this year and could we please have a discussion as I'd like to spend some time with my children rather then the usual 5pm drop off. We had discussed and agreed previously that Mothers & Fathers day would be spent with the respective parent. I was met with, you will need to speak to the children, I've told them its mothers day and it's up to them.
This weekend he had the children, they weren't happy with only staying for one night, they wanted to stay for the 4 days they were supposed to. I was met with, they need to talk to me I'm not discussing this with you. There was no reason for them not to stay other than he thought it would be too much for them. They expressed that it wasn't, he compromised on 2 nights after an hours interrogation of them as to why they thought they were staying for 4 nights - err, its the holidays and this is what was discussed.
It just seems very childish. We get on OK after what was a bumpy 1st year. He was very controlling in our marriage and dislikes the fact that I have learnt to say no or that doesn't work for me. I'm polite and pleasant and bend over backwards to facilitate contact. He's just spend the last two days at mine to 'see the children'. This is the last time I will allow this.
Does anyone else have to deal with this?