To think I cannot do my new job

[whitecremeegg]

NC as this might be outing.

So I have started a job at a university on a fixed term project to improve the diversity of students and staff and diversity awareness at the university.

I am worried and upset because it seems:

1, the advert was short and generic and made it appear that it would be focused on all equality groups. I have now found out that it is a specific focus on BLM awareness, BAME recruitment etc. This was not mentioned in the advert or interview. Whilst I have knowledge and experience of all equality groups, I wasn't expecting to focus on just one group and I feel disappointed. I am not BAME myself and I feel that for specific projects like this, it helps to have lived experience? However, I do have experience of all equality areas.

1. Knowledge and experience of Moodle was deemed as desirable criteria but now the university are acting as though it will be essential. I made no mention in my application or CV of experience of Moodle and I said (honestly) in my interview that I knew what Moodle was, I had used it several times in a student capacity but not a teaching capacity, and that I was doing an OU micro-credential on online teaching to improve my skills. I have lots of experience of teaching via Zoom, Teams, Google meet and face to face. Doing group work, organising events and conferences. Also utilising social media. But what I am being asked to do is create teaching resources on Moodle and I've never done that before. I'm trying to google it but I'm stuck!

3, I've never created any learning materials before. As I said, I've delivered workshops and conferences on EDI, done presentations and organised guest speakers but never created any actual teaching materials for HE, FE or schools. I wouldn't know where to start.

So I'm sitting here thinking I've made a huge mistake. I feel the job has been missold to me. I'm scared I'll make a fool out of myself. I'm scared I will not pass probation. I'm scared to ask for help and I don't know what to do now.

I was made redundant last year and applied for everything. This was the only job I was offered, although I'm still looking as this is only fixed term for 1 year.

AIBU to think I can't do this job?

I think you're letting several smaller issues get the better of you.

1: Lived experience counts for something of course but so does knowledge and a desire to make change.
2: www.reddit.com/r/moodle/ Go there...if you haven't already. If you need to. Post as often as you like asking specific questions but remember, many members are in the US so there's a time difference. They're very helpful.
3: You sound more than qualified - ask for support though.

Someone thought you were the best candidate...you obviously have something they like.

moodle.com/faq/where-can-i-get-free-moodle-training/

I've looked at the online free training and it confuses me but I'll keep looking and trying. (and keep looking for other jobs too)

From here, it seems that none of those three areas, given your experience should be too problematic. You can learn moodle, you can create learning material and you have a good understanding of diversity issues

1.) Lived experience is useful but it sounds like your job is coordinating the project. Think about how you can get feed in from students and staff.

2.) If the University uses Moodle as its VLE then they will have training courses and materials about Moodle. Many new academic staff won't know how to use it either.

3.) If you've taught you can produce teaching materials. You sound like you're eminently qualified. If they want to create permanent resources on diversity (ie a Moodle based training course), that will require support. Is there a learning technologist/technology enhanced learning team?

It's extremely rare that a job doesn't have some sort of work that you may not be expressly qualified or feel very able to do.

You can do this. Google, Reddit, university forums - these can help you.

You were hired because they felt you could do the job, you just need a bit more self belief and a little less imposter syndrome

Thanks for all the reassurance. Yes DH says its just new job nerves, especially as my confidence took a hit last year job wise. I am very qualified in this field, I just haven't done HE before and I don't want to fail.

Yes there are learning technologists although I haven't met or spoken to them yet. That's the other thing about the university. There are so many people to know and so many links and documents and policies. Its quite overwhelming.

Plus WFH for goodness knows how long

Have you tried you tube for tutorials. I am in week 6 of my new job and am getting through by watching you tube videos of how to use/tips and tricks for software that was never mentioned at interview

youtube is another idea, thanks

You got the job, it's a fixed term, you can't really go wrong. Find out what they most want from you and do that well. You sound very well qualified.

YABU to use the term 'lived experience'.

and what's wrong with that? Many of the individuals I work with from diverse groups use the term 'lived experience'. I have a PC myself and I value the knowledge and experience of those who are actually living it.

Moodle is clunky and not particularly intuitive but you quickly learn which parts of it you need and which you can ignore. There are tonnes of "how to" resources on the Moodle site that have screenshots walking you through how to do everything. However, because it's an open source platform, each university can pick and choose the elements they want so the version you're using might not have access to some of the features.

Definitely try to get a meeting sorted with a learning technologist. The LTs at my work are total whizzes and by building a relationship with one guy in particular (even just phoning him up to talk through what I wanted to do), I became really proficient.

Picking up CampusMoodle is ridiculously easy. You can work it out in a couple of hours of trial and error by trying to upload content. At least thats what lecturers had to do. If you have any specific problems, you should have IT support to ask of them. I would'nt say Moodle is any more difficult than picking up MS Word skills, possibly less difficult as it has less tools.

Well some of it is new job nerves/imposter syndrome perhaps. You almost always need to use new IT and learn new things in any job.

I'm a bit surprised that you're a bit surprised that BAME experience is such a key point of the role. Where have you been for the last year? Also HE have some real issues with race from applications to students experience. You don't have to be from a BAME background yourself, those backgrounds are so broad that there isn't one person that can claim a lived experience to match most. If you can work with BAME student networks, tap into the lived experience of students you can use your role to do some real good and maybe create a pipeline for someone from that background to take your place one day.

I totally understand your feelings but give yourself a chance. Be kind and supportive to yourself and see if maybe this is the opportunity you thought it was originally, but just dressed a bit differently

I disagree that the best person to advocate for a particular equality group is somebody from that equality group. I am thinking of a time my employers were trying to improve the ratio of women in senior positions. I think it was far better for a man to lead the initiative, for men to be involved, show support and act as mentors etc. Unfortunately a woman leading such an initiative could find herself labelled, accused of having a chip on her shoulder and can actually find it difficult to be taken seriously.

You sound well qualified for the first and third points and learning a new tool / system or whatever moodles is sounds like you would be gaining a new string to your bow.

I have no issue with working on BAME matters, but the role was advertised as a broad equality role and I'm disappointed it is not because there are so many equality matters I am passionate about.

The academic staff won't listen to you no matter how good you are so I wouldn't worry about it too much.